me and my bf have been together for 4 years i love him very much a few months ago he cheated and i have become paranoid when ever he go's on a night out. I'm always trying to reasure my self. i have tryed to talk to him about it but it always gets into i heated arguement. maybe because of giluit? i'm not sure, i can't help but think about how much he hurt me and it dose'nt seem like he understands how this has effected me. How can i make him see without a big arguement?
2007-01-25 10:35:36 · 18 answers · asked by mish0 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He's guilty and not making things easy on you by shutting down on the subject, or by going out. He's a d!ck!
2007-01-25 10:42:48 · answer #1 · answered by Celeste P 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well This is based from Opinion (U dont need to learn to trust him, He needs to prove himself to be trust worthy)
Sounds like He hasnt given you any closure into him cheating. That's why you arent sure if you can trust him or not. Sounds to me like he may still have something to hide If he cant talk to you about how it affect'd you & the relationship without a heated arguement. He should see how it hurt you & reassure you that it wont happen again. (If he wants to make things right, with you & continue your all's relationship) he should take you on a night out with him to show you what goes on behind the scenes when your not there. Just to give you that reassurance that he isnt cheating on you again. It is something that I think your BF needs to work on to make sure you know your #1 in his heart & not some other person. It isnt something you need to tolerate. If you are not 100% reassured what he is out doing, you have every right to wonder. It's hard to gain that trust back, & you shouldnt let him just waltz back in without giving you closure. Cause you then will be making it too easy for him, & he will think he can do it again to you. Surely there would be someone, a councler type person that you all could go to, to help you all sort it out. Cause, You still will have that wonder in your mind until you get closure. If you had someone to mentor talking about it in the opening maybe your bf can follow through & give you the closure you need without the heated arguement.
2007-01-25 10:57:17 · answer #2 · answered by kslate456 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but you already know the answer to this one!!
You can NOT possibly trust him again!
As soon as you accept he is going to lie and cheat on you again the sooner you can find someone that wont.
Good luck but dont take too long to make the decision as there is a lot of good loving and living just waiting for you to enjoy.
And besides, by now 4 years together wheres the bloody wedding ring???
Ah that's another excuse is it??
2007-01-25 10:47:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oops - well, just get rid of him. Rather than answer some awkward questions about why he did it etc, he's realised that it's a much easier tactic to go on the offensive and have an argument.
It will be hard, but you can have no respect for yourself until you punish him for breaking the sanctity of your relationship. I mean, 4 years? I'm repeating a couple of answers above, but you will NEVER trust him again. That's fact of human nature. Get a bottle of vodka, tub of ice cream, some girly film (Bridget Jones' Diary is the best according to my girly friends), ditch him them spend the night eating, drinking and watching BJD. Move over Freud - there's therapy for you! :-)
2007-01-25 12:37:56 · answer #4 · answered by mrWerd 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to not say anything and ask for a couple of minutes just to explain how you feel. If he still won't listen, try a new approach:
DUMP HIM.
It may seem a bit harsh, but he way you explained it really seemed like he was treating you badly.
But if he does listen, that shows trust and calmness, peace and loyalty.
You know he loves you, and he knows you love him.
2007-01-29 06:40:18 · answer #5 · answered by My Best Friend is an emo! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust no one. You don't even trust yourself, why and how can you trust him? He can't see how you feel because women and men's brains are either wired differently or operate on a different level. What you should be looking for in a relationship is equality. You must learn to make yourself happy and not depend on other people for that.
2007-01-25 10:42:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can try acting like anything he does wrong doesnt bother you much, as a matter of fact act like it went unnoticed. When My girfriend does this to me it makes me feel like she doesnt care anymore about me or the realtionship which always forces me to do the thinking and try to talk to her about our problems. Basically make him start the convo, that way if you dont raise your voice he wont have a chance to either because he started it.
Try help others like you here - http://zaine7673.proboards104.com/index.cgi
2007-01-25 10:53:41 · answer #7 · answered by zaine7673 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either get over it and trust him, or break up with him and move on.
Trust doesn't automatically appear after someone cheats, but you don't want to kid yourself, either. Just stop wasting your time wondering something that may not happen with your BF.
2007-01-25 10:42:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen you cant tust anyone if you feel that you cant trust him then why dont you just forget about him and move on i no it is really hard but you will forget about him in the long run just go out there girl and have some fun you only live once
2007-01-26 00:01:56 · answer #9 · answered by Suzanna G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you got to tell him how insecure you are feeling after he cheated on you, if he loves you he will understand, and hopefully be able to reassure you ,when he goes out with his mates why don't you go out with your mates? it will perhaps help you not to be wondering what he is doing,the only way forward is to learn to trust him again its very hard but if you honestly think that its not going to happen again and hes worth it be patient
2007-01-25 10:48:33 · answer #10 · answered by demmi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋