Im in a new relationship with a woman and I simply adore & lover her. In a previous relationship she had promised her then boyfriend she would take a trip to Mexico with him during February in 2007. Since then we have met and fallen in love. How do I handle this and what your opinion on what she should do?
As some history her and the guy are good friends and have been through alot; he is still in love with her and wants to be back with her. She is adamant that she doesnt want him and is in love with me and shes doing this just because it was a promise before I was in the picture. I suggested that I could go or even pay him back for his expenses as away to not put a strain on thier friendship. And how would she feel if I went with an ex of mine? Im not going to give my opinion because I dont want to sway the opinion of the answers.
2007-01-25 10:32:03 · 6 answers · asked by Curious P 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Thanks for the answers. Im surprised with a few of the answers as this doesn't have anything to do with trust, as I do trust her. Its more of a respect thing and leaving things in the past; I dont believe prior relationships especially ones with men that still are in love are healthy when trying to have a new relationship.
2007-01-25 13:04:30 · update #1
Well, she is going to go no matter what... Now, what did she say to the fact that you wanted to go with her as well???
Now, saince you said to her "And how would she feel if I went with an ex of mine?"... That shows her that you might not trust her... and in that sense could cause problems in your relationship. If she loves you enough she will not do anything.
2007-01-25 10:43:57 · answer #1 · answered by Ashley 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone has a past first of all. But the way I see your story is that she would go off with him on this trip and have an awesome time. Sex, drinks, messing around and you wouldn't know it. Actually you would because you can't sit there and tell me that she will go on a trip with an ex who has the hots for her and she still be faithfull. If I was you, she could either go and lose me as a boyfriend or she could stay and get over the trip. There are other ways a friendship can work other than a trip away from a boyfriend. On the other hand, I am a libra and I side with both sides. What about trust? You and this girl don't obviously have it. What's the deal with wasting your time on this girl if you don't trust her? Sometimes in a relationship, a promise has to be broken. Just tell her how you feel. Communication is everything. If she truly loves you, she would stay with you where she belongs. Good luck.
2007-01-25 18:48:26 · answer #2 · answered by ~M*a*N*d*Y~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she made the promise before you came along, she should know that since the circumstances have changed, she should find the most fair and polite way OUT of the trip. If she told her ex, I am in a new relationship now, and the past being the past, there's no way I can go with a clear head, it would practically be cheating on my new man, and I'd rather break a promise than cheat. I mean, how important is their friendship anyway? My thoughts were always, if they aren't good enough to remain my boyfriend, they sure as snot aren't good enough to keep as a friend. You should tell her she needs to develop a backbone and let her know that if she choses to go on the trip, you will be doing some heavy evaluating on yours and hers relationship. If you were that important to her, this wouldn't be so hard for her to do.
2007-01-25 18:43:59 · answer #3 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i cant really answer youre question... but if i were you i would trust her. Thats all you can do. I had a relationship where i was with someone but i was still madly inlove with the man i was with before. I got over the other guy for a year and a half , then i got pregnant and the guy that i was with cheated and made me lose the baby at 6 n a half months. I him now but anywyas thats not the point. IF you love her and trsut her like you say you do then you have no problem. Just dont get to jealous and make her think you're some crazy nut job. shes with. you just remember that!
2007-01-25 18:49:51 · answer #4 · answered by Still Love you? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that's a difficult situation! I would NOT like that at all either. I can tell it really bothers you, Even though it's a new relationship I say talk with her because I don't think she would like you to do what she is going to do, it was a promise but I mean they aren't together anymore! That sounds fishy to me! Why would it even sound ok especially if HE still loves her.That's not cool at all!
2007-01-25 18:42:57 · answer #5 · answered by ♥AMO♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she really loves you then she will not go with him. That will be the test foryou both.
2007-01-25 18:40:40 · answer #6 · answered by Closed Down 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋