Potty training a 3 year old boy that wants nothing to do with the potty?

Question

We have been working with him for about the past month. We have tried having him sit there, reading books about going to the potty while he is on the potty, letting him watch T.V. while he does. We have also tried to put regular underwear on him to see what he would think about being wet or messy, but he just doesn't care. He says that the potty is scarry. He does love to flush the toilet, but doesn't want anything else to do with it, the regular one or his little potty that we bought for him. Any help would be great. Thanks!

Answer 1

I had the same problem with my boy. My daughter trained so easily compared to him. He wanted nothing to do with the potty. We tried the sitting down position on the potty - he hated it. Tried the wet liner training pants - didn't bother him at all. TV shows, books....nothing was working. 1 month before he turned 3, I went on a mission because I just really wanted him trained for his 3rd Bday party. So I did everything I could....I tried the cereal in the toilet, made a sticker chart, and put regular undies on him. First he would go to his room and take them off, find the pull ups and put one on. So I hid those from him. He was mad and would run around naked for a bit. I also put a towel on the sofa and told him he can't sit anywhere else but there just in case. LOL He had no interest in sitting on the potty so we went straight to standing up at the big toilet. I threw in some cereal and told him what I wanted him to do. I had to do this a lot of times of course. I told him that I would give him a sticker for every time he went pee in the toilet and that he would get a present if he had a certain amount of stickers at the end of the week. He had a lot of accidents. He eventually gave up on taking off the undies and got used to going to "his" spot on the sofa. If he felt a pee he would just go in his pants. When that happened I just walked him over to the toilet and said "This is where you go pee pee". It took a week or two before he really started caring about it. Sometimes I noticed him squeezing his penis which gave me a sign that he feels it and is trying to maybe keep the pee in. So I would take him by the hand and walk to the toilet with him and tell him to go pee. He wouldn't, and then 2 mins later would have an accident. But one day he just let it go in the toilet, we made it the hugest thing, gave him like 5 stickers for the first time. Got something small at the dollar store and from then on he tried more. Still lots of accidents but at least he was trying now and he would even get frustrated with not being able to make it to the toilet. I would just say it's ok....next time you can try again.

For the beginning you can tell him if he at least gets 5 stickers in the first week that you'll take him to the store and he can pick out a gift for himself. (That's when I hit the dollar stores). LOL Once he gets a taste of it he'll want a gift every week and try more.

I'm proud to say that we did it within that month and he was all trained by his bday party. Still had the odd accident after that, maybe every second week or something. He's now turning 4 in a couple of months and only 5 months ago I finally night trained him. That was quite the challenge too....I felt like I had a new born again. Heehee

Hope any of this helps.

P.S. I also did have my hubby demonstrate a few times what he had to do. I think that probably helped too.

Answer 2

If he doesn't want to use the potty, he's probably not ready yet. See if you can find some "potty" videos or stories (Bear and the Big Blue House has a nice one, or there's always Once Upon a Potty--classic) to model behavior. See if he would rather have an insert on the big toilet (Target and BabiesRUs have some with Blue or Dora or Sponge Bob on them, cushy seats that fit right over the regular toilet, so little bottoms don't fall in). Also, if Daddy isn't weird about it, ask him to model successful potty behavior for his boy.

Above all, don't push it. If the potty is "scary," but he can't explain why, he's probably worried about his waste going in there and being flushed away (sometimes kids have an attachment to anything that comes from them...like they're losing a part of themselves by peeing in the toilet instead of a diaper). He might not be ready to use the potty, and he might not be ready to let go of diapers yet. Be patient with him. Tell lots of stories, reward positive behavior, but be prepared for negative behavior.

He'll get there. Honestly, he will. We all have nightmares about our kids being 16 years old, still wearing pull-ups, but it doesn't actually happen :)

Good luck--

Answer 3

i had this same problem with my three year old. What I did was used fruit loops... the colorful circle cereal. I told him to aim at them. I also made a sticker chart and everytime that he pee'd he got one sticker and pooped he got 2 stickers. This really helped. Before I started trying this i was just like you trying other things. Nothing worked. You can also do things like give him rewards of candy ... something small. Thats how I was trained. I loved jellybeans so i got a jelly bean everytime that I went to the bathroom. Well he does go on the potty make a very big deal of it. Clapping...Cheering...saying BIG BOY...ect. This shows that it is good. Then once he starts going more often anad he has an accident in his pants tell him thats ok that accidents do happen. He will be upset when he does have an accident after all the cheering that he got for going on the big boy potty that it will hurt him more if you just wipe it off like it was ok. I hope that this helps you. And GOOD LUCK!!

Answer 4

My son was almost four when he just decided to use the potty, we had done EVERYTHING we could find or read for two years. He is intelligent, opinionated and not going to do it our way. We literally tried everything and then I looked at him and said, "Big boy, you need to decide if you want to wear diapers or use the potty." He said potty and that was it. My 20-month old thinks that the potty is the coolest thing ever and we let him run naked and he will use the potty by accident about once every two days. Despite a lot of cleaning, he is promising to be easier. If he doesn't care, he doesn't. He gets to choose this. But don't torture yourself, tell him to choose and put him in Pull-ups or diapers if he chooses them. If he chooses undewear, make sure that he understands that he is responsible for cleaning himself, the floor and the underwear. And leave him to it. Be hard, make him clean EVERY time unless he is ill or was scared or something and wait. He will not wear diapers to his high school graduation, he will figure it out.
Good luck

Answer 5

I wish I had a magical answer but the truth is that he's just not ready. I'm sure it'll happen soon. I have 4 kids and my oldest (boy)potty trained very easily almost on his own at a little over 2, my 3rd child (girl) was the same, but my 2nd child (girl) was good and 3 1/2 before she potty trained. I know it's frustrating now but it'll happen and you can't force it until he's ready.

On a positive note, I noticed that kids who potty train later have less likelihood of regressing.

Answer 6

i comprehend the way you experience. we've a 2 300 and sixty 5 days previous have been attempting so annoying with. in the initiating he did o.ok.. We have been like it is common. He might cry while we made him sit down there yet he might pee. He has a singing rest room so he might get excited becasue it sang. That singing worked for him for roughly 2 weeks, then he discovered the thank you to make it sing devoid of peeing in it. Now he won't pee. MY answer: Take him to the washing room each a million/2 hour or hour, until eventually he gets used to the place he has to pee. We even caught his potty in front of the t.v. throughout those situations so it does no longer look as though a punishment. it rather is how he have been given the draw close of it for those 2 weeks. He in basic terms began letting us comprehend while he had to pee. so a procedures as doing poo, i do no longer comprehend, he has in no way carried out that for us. good success!

Answer 7

We used to tear a dime size piece of toilet paper and float it on the water -- my boys loved it -- they would chase it around the bowl while hitting it. But in the beginning, he has to WANT to go. Do you know any little kids that he could 'go with'. Maybe they can use the big potty and he can use his. If not, maybe Daddy can make it a competition -- "I can pee before you can". You never know what will trigger him into wanting to try. Just try and make it fun in the beginning until he gets the hang of things.

Answer 8

There is a small seat that fits in your existing seat for toddlers so that they feel that they are being grown up. There are also these " Pull up pants " that are like a nappy / diaper but with an elasticised waist. These are meant to be a transition towards just wearing regular undies. They also help prevent mess in case accidents occur.

Answer 9

Get some cherrieos, you know, the little donut shaped breakfast cereal. Throw a couple of them in the water and teach him how to aim at them and try to sink them. You might be amazed at how much he will enjoy this and thus, problem solved. There is a natural genetic code in guys about guns and shooting things.

Answer 10

1