Can you please tell me some funny blonde jokes.?

Question

i need some so i can get a laugh out of my crush. :)

Answer 1

A blonde and a brunette decided to rob a bank. They quickly devised a good plan and they put their plan to action. The brunette drove up to the front of the bank that they had decided to rob. She turned to the blonde and asked her, "Now, do you remember what the plan is?" The blonde sighed and replied, "Yeah, yeah, I remember..." The brunette went over the plan once more and let the blonde out to do her stuff. Before the blonde could shut the door, the brunette yelled out, "Be sure to be in and out in no more than 5 minutes!"

The blonde ran inside and the brunette waited in the car... and waited... and waited... and waited... and waited. After waiting for so long in the car, the blonde bursts out of the bank's doors, the alarm blaring loud enough to wake everyone up. The blonde was lugging a bank safe behind her by a rope tied around it. A security guard ran out of the bank, his pants down around his ankles and attempting to reach his gun. The blonde breathed heavily as she tried to put the safe in the car but finally just gave up and dropped the safe behind. She ran into the passenger seat and pulled the door shut, the car already moving. The security guard yelled, "Stop! Stop!" while the pair drove off, leaving the safe with rope tied tightly around it behind.

The brunette frantically asked the blonde, "What the hell happened in there?!?" The blonde was panting and turned to the brunette and choked out, "What do you mean? I followed the plan exactly!" The brunette paused and yelled, "YOU IDIOT! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO TIE UP THE GUARD AND BLOW THE SAFE!"

Answer 2

A blonde walks in to a store looks over and says that picture is really ugly then the store person says thats a mirror how can you tell a blonde was on the computer the joy stick is wet

Answer 3

ok, this is one that my bestest friend told me befores he left.

one day this blonde had moved in to a nice little play in the middle of a small town... there was a man that lived right next door, and he noticed something funny about they blonde. Bue he wasn't gonna go and talk to the blonde. well one day, the blonde came to the mans house and knocked oh the door. the man answered the door and asked the woman what she wanted. The blonde said, well sir, my computer keeps tellin me that i got mail, but when i go outside to my mail box, there aint nothin there!



another one that my bestest friend gave me

once this blonde whent to the store and told the manager "i want this TV"
the manager looked at the woman, laughed and said "sorry, no blondes in my store."
the blonde was mad, so she went to a beauty parlor and dyed her hair green. then she went back to the store, and went up to the manager and said "sir, i really want this TV"
again the man just laughed and said "sorry no blondes in my store.
the blonde was still mad, so she went back to the beauty parlor and dyed her hair pink. then went back to the store and told the manager "sir i am really wanting this tv, andif u dont sell it to me, i will take my money else where.
the manager said "fine go ahead i still aint gonna let blondes in my store."
then the blonde said, "how do u know i am a blonde when my hair is pink?"
the manager replied "well for one that is not a tv.... its a microwave!



hope these help... i know alot more, but i aint gonna write a book on jokes.... good luck with ur bf!

Answer 4

The Blonde go to school and he flipped down by banana and he laugh like crazy men .He go to school toilet to wash her face but when he look at the s**t

Answer 5

alright........this blonde was driving home from work and hit this guys car in the back. He was really angery and he got out pulled her out of the car and drew a circle on the ground. he said stay in the circle and dont move. then he broke all her windows. she started giggiling and he got more angry and destroyed all her doors. then she started laughin out loud. he go more angry and destroyed all her car till there was nothing left. then she was practily rolling on the floor laughing. then he shouted WHAT IS SO FUNNY! then she said when you wern't looking i stepped out of the circle three times!

Answer 6

A blonde and her husband went to a football game. The blonde had never been to one. At the beginning, she saw the referee flip a coin, and the blonde asked her husband why they did that. He told her, and the first quarter started. Her husband yelled out, "Get the quarterback!!" The blonde goes, "Well, no duh! It's a quarter."

Answer 7

How do you confuse a blond?








put her in a round room and tell her to pee in the corner.
How can a Blondie confuse you?







comes out of said room and tells you she did

Answer 8

one day a blonde called her boyfriend and said "please come over and help me with this puzzle, i can't get any piece in the right place, i've been working on it for soo long. and it's supposed to be a picture of a tiger but i can't even find the piece that are supposed to be the tiger! please come help me!!!" so her boyfriends agreed to come over and help her with the puzzle. when he arrived at her place he ask her to show him the puzzle. when he saw the puzzle he looked at it and studied it for a few moments. and then he said "ok honey, here's what we're going to do. let's get you to bed so you can rest and i am going to clean up all the frosted flakes."






this joke isn't a blonde joke but it's still funny.


there were three french men who knew no english at all who had traveled to america. they decided to split up and try to learn some english. the first man went to an auditorium. he heard someone singing mememememe so he started to sing mememememe. and the second guy went to a restaurant and he heard someone saying "forks and knives, forks and knives." so he started saying "forks and knives, forks and knives." the third man ended up going to a candy store and he heard someone saying "goodie goodie gumdrops, goodie goodie gumdrops." so he started saying "goodie goodie gumdrops, goodie goodie gumdrops." so when the three men met up to share the english they had learned a cop came up to them and said "there's been a murder commited and we're just trying to figure out who commited it. do any of you know anything?" and the first guy said "mememememe." and the cop replied "well, what was the weapons?" the second man said "forks and knives, forks and knives." the cop looked stunned they admited the crime. and then he said "ok well you three are going to have to come with me" and then the third man said "goodie goodie gumdrops goodie goodie gumdrops"

i don't know if you think that second joke is funny but i like it : ]

Answer 9

What does a blonde put behind her ears to attract men?






Her Legs.

Answer 10

Q.whats blonde,brown then blonde brown,then blode brown ? A. a blonde cheerleader doing cart-wheels