Why are decent men so rare?

Question

they are like 1 in a million or billion. my friend & her man have been together for 10 years and he treats her so wonderfully it makes me envy her at times. I've dated lots of guys and they usually turn out 2 b pigs, only wanting 1 thing. Maybe im yet to find 'the one'? I dont think a guy as ever loved me for who I am, they just saw sex, will I find that 1 guy who isnt like this? or shud i just give up since 1 in a million is a very low chance haha

Answer 1

Why are decent men so rare? For the same reasons decent women are so rare. Women haven't cornered the market on decency, being kind, thoughtful and generous by any means. Those of us decent, good men who aren't already spoken for are possibly gunshy because we are tired of being manipulated and deceived by the women who take advantage of our kindness, thoughtfulness, generosity, and decency as you call it. If you are having a hard time finding a good man, you may have your own peers to blame. It's actually easier sometimes to do without.

M

Answer 2

There are lots of decent guys out there, honest! I DO know what you mean though, many do just want one thing! Try a variety of meeting grounds to get a good cross section.....think what type of man you are looking for then perhaps you can narrow down the kind of place you'll have a better chance of finding him. Have you ever tried a blind date? Do your friends know of any decent unattached males they could set you up with?

What about joining some kind of interest group that appeals to you where you might find someone like minded?

Sometimes, when you least expect it, someone comes your way who is not out for what he can get

I would avoid (sorry guys!), men who are obviously out on the pull in bars and clubs etc. If you're in a bar look for the man who holds back a little...he's probably shy.

One last tip, make sure your fairly sober when you do pull so you know what it is that you HAVE pulled!!

Best wishes.

Answer 3

I suggest that you look at the message you send out every time you meet a new man, This is not a criticism. as we cannot see our selves we need to find some one we can trust and ask them how I come across to men, You may very well be giving the wrong idea or message to men. Perhaps there is a reason why ALL men only look at you and think sex, I am not saying it is your fault, again I stress we do not know what we present to the public at large, I would take a good friend with me the next time I was going to be in a situation where there are men I do not know and might be attracted to, so that they can observe me and be honest in their appraisal of my demeanour.so that you can be aware of what you are doing

Answer 4

Dont be discouraged. Guys like that did not happen overnight. You said your friend and her man has been together for 10 years which meant that it takes time to make relationship like that really work. If you want a guy in your precise way, tell him when you are in the initial phase of dating what you are expecting of him and if he has any expectations of you, and if he is interested in you, he will want to please you as well as tell you what he is looking for in a relationship. You will be surprised at the small things that could really turn a pig into a night in shining armour. Try that!!! Good luck

Answer 5

decent men/women are out there.as they say looks are in the eye of the beholder as is a persons personality.it's about knowing who you are and being happy in yourself before you can ever expect someone else to make you happy or you to make them.take all the negative experiences from your past and turn them around, after all your past makes up who you are.be proud and positive as you sound like you have alot to offer.true love always has a way of finding you when it's least expected! until then build on your confidence and see how being single until the right time can be one of the best stages in your life! as for your friend I'm sure there are times she envy's you-the grass is sometimes greener on the other side and not always!! good luck. p.s when you find a great man send me some tips!!!!

Answer 6

we are not that rare, we tend to be the quitet ones who may throw a smile your way in a store but never do anything other than that.
to take it further if you want to take a chance on a guy why not ask a guy out instead of waiting for him to aproach you.
speaking here as a shy guy who has no self confidence when it comes to approaching a woman i like the look of who i may want to get to know better, so i do not bother anymore.
i may throw out a smile once in awhile. but most of the time i have a look about my face that makes me look angry or mad at someone or something.
when in my heart i'm smiling, just outwardly i'm trying to stop shouting out in agony. I will not go in to detail here why that is the case either mail me for details or browse through all my answers to see why.

as for you, don't give up, while it is true most guys do only want sex from there women it is not every guy that has that alone on his mind when he meets a woman he likes, though that is normally the first thing he thinks about.
so do become friends with a guy, and a guy who loves you for you will wait months or years untill you are ready before taking friends to love romance and sex for example.
so take it slowly, you will know if the guy is with you just for sex as he will be constantly pressuring you to get naked etc. (trying to keep it clean here).
and yes one day you will find that one guy worth all the heartache of the failed relationships in the past. or rather i hope you will.

as i said there are some of us good and great guys about we are just hard to find.
nothing worth having in this live ever comes easy, love and romance is the same. it takes hard work to make a relationship work.
I hope you do find the guy of your dreams soon.

personally i have now given up, mainly due to low self esteem due to heath grounds, without saying too much on this.

mail me if you want to talk on this further. either via my profile
or
y!answers@
garylsmith1973
.homeip.net

put last three lines together to get the address.

Answer 7

lol my g/f is used to guys like that, well all i can say is i cud never treat her the way she has been treated because shes my world and i love her madly. When a guy feels for u like i do 4 my girl ud realize not all men are after 1 thing, ud b weary since ur used 2 bad ones but hang in there and ul see he truly loves u when u find the 1, ull find some1 who loves u for u, good luck.

Answer 8

Please don't get my forthcoming answer wrong. I dearly love the sexual relationship I have with my wif (of 27 years). However, when we met though I was definately physically attracted to her that was not the one thing I most wanted. I wanted exactly what she has given me (and I her). A life partner. I wanted someone to care for and about who would care for and about me. Someone that I would be thrilled to wake up every morning next to (regardless of the changes age brings). Someone to share the excitement that life brings (I still find that everyday).

I have been lucky. It took me a while to find that one person but I did find her. I cannot imagine a day without her in it. I love her dearly but even more importantly, I really, really like her. That is what I was looking for, the sex when that time came was just a way for us both to demonstrate our feelings. I do not think I am a rare or unique guy. There are many many more out there who want what I was so lucky to find. I hope you find it. I wish that blessing for everyone.

Answer 9

Good men aren't that rare, it's you're not looking for the right type of guy, there are plenty of guys out there that will do any thing to make you happy but you have to give them the chance to do that. They are usually the shy timid ones who being shy and timid are usually ignored. Try looking around there are plenty of men out there looking for exactly the same thing you are, they might not know how to approach you and they might feel intimidated by you to start with, so try talking to them, they'll come around and you might just find that it's exactly the type of person you are looking for.

Answer 10

For the same reason decent women are so rare...

And if you keep attracting all these loser guys, wouldn't it be logical to perhaps reflect on what it is you might be doing wrong, or the kind of signals you're giving off? The laws of attraction dictate that you end up attracting what you envision, and by the sounds of your question, you envision nothing but losers.

Perhaps a change in outlook and attitude is in order.