did i overreact?

Question

ok the other day... sunday it was. i found out my bf did a few lines of coke with his boss. ok not really found out, i told him i knew he was on it cuz he was showing all signs... constant talking, chain smoking, acting nervous ect. so i was like adam how was the coke with scott. he was like sorry i felt pressured to do it, i thought i'd lose my job over it. i said no job is worth losing what you've gained so far. we've both had bad coke problems in the past and starting again will lead us both downhill and apart. i told him i was disappointed in him and how would he feel if scott pressured me into having sex with him and i did it because i didn't want to lose my job? i wouldn'd do it ever though. he felt really bad. he promised not to do it again and i don't think he will but did i overreact in the first place?
if you need more info feel free to email me.

the analogy was a bit month but he hates nothing more than cheaters and i hate nothing more than seeing someone i love fall into something that ruins them. i love him and i was just looking out for our future. coke is a bad drug and we both know it. it ruined alot of our past year. we didn't know each other then but still the point is i know his potential and he doesn't need to be doing coke let alone with his boss. everyone else i've talked to about it agrees as well.

i told him if he ever touches coke again i'm done. i told him i can't be around it and risk my recovery so far. i've been clean for 5 months now and i'm so happy about it. the thing with coke though is once an addict always an addict so having it around i will relapse and i will hate myself for it. i told him he disappointed me and that if making scott happy before considering me then he can start coke again and live without me. that made him cry, i felt bad but i will not apologize for anything i've said.

Answer 1

No you did not overreact. you had every right to ask or tell him not to do it again, and it shows good thinking on your part. Giving him a counter example with you most likely helped him see how you felt. You did the right thing.

Answer 2

If you've both had problems with coke in the past, then it is a scary thing that your bf is back involved with it. It's bad that he didn't tell you himself before you figured it out. I don't think you overreacted. You have a right to be concerned and even a little mad about it. He should have said no to his boss and he could have sued the pants off his boss if he got fired for NOT doing drugs! Now you have his promise not to do it again. I hope he said 'no matter what' and that should include ANYONE pressuring him. If he gives into pressure, then his promise means nothing. If he breaks his promise, then I don't think you should stay with him. He knows how you feel and he is putting his boss before you, which isn't a good sign.

Answer 3

You didn't overreact. If he has had a problem in the past, he is playing with fire and he should know it. I would have a zero tolerance attitude about this. If he uses again, the relationship is over. If he ends up using, you will be at risk for relapse. No man is worth your health and life.

Answer 4

Why would you take the advice from a complete stranger? If you and your boytoy cant kick coke together, you already know what you have to do. You just want someone to tell you not to.

Answer 5

i think you did a good job you definitely did not overreact..especially if you are both recovering drug users you dont want to be brought back to the same path..and i liked the analogy you used..lol

Answer 6

no, you didn't overreact. if you guys have made a vow to be clean together..than he broke that. and leading back into that life is something that can break your heart, sole and spirit.. so no.. you were not overreacting in being upset about it..