and I know I am lucky to have him. But I am so insecure still. I am divorced as my ex husband used to drink and stay out at bars all night. I left him as I felt i deserved more than that. The guy im with now would never do that and he doesnt even go to bars. he is a home type of man and he wants us to buy a house together and start for a baby But I still feel insecure that another woman will take him from me. I am jelous of other woman and I worry in my mind if good looking women are around. I am quite good looking but feel that he will get bored of me after being with me for a long time and will maybe start getting intrested by other women as people keep telling me that men cant help it.
does anyone else here feel these same fears? any tips on how to stop them? I have talked to my partner about it and he says that he loves me and only wants me. I really need to get over this! Any tips?
2007-01-25 08:23:59 · 12 answers · asked by michu75 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You are living in cloud cuckoo land. If a shapely young one gave him a flash of her thighs, he would be in there like a rabbit up a burrow.
2007-01-25 08:45:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can't go through a relationship thinking that way. I think you would agree that if you harrass him with your insecurity non stop you will be pushing him away and he will leave you. Why don't both of you get on the mortgage and then if he does decide to run you'll have the house. I can help you with your mortgage if you don't have anyone who knows how to do it. My name is Jesse and i have been doing mortgage for 10 years. If you like email me and i can give you the heads up on what to do and not to do as far as that is concerned. Believe me when i say you don't want to go to far down the rabbit hole sometimes what you find is not what you expect or want. The guy stays at home like you said. He is not out galavanting around looking for more. When your good looking women hit on you like white on rice. Anyhow good luck and hopefully i can help you if you decide to get a home together---Jesse
2007-01-25 08:39:01 · answer #2 · answered by jmsdean72 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You answered your own question.
Any GOOD relationship is HARD WORK.
Keep the relationship interesting. Work at doing this. If you commit yourself to improving the relationship, your fears will all pass away.
Anyone who thinks they can sit around and worry and nag and worry and complain and worry, simply isn't taking the initiative to be in love and have a GOOD STRONG relationship. It's wrong to believe that we deserve more or better unless we actually strive for more and better with true effort.
IT's WORK. That's why hollywood stars keep breaking up, they all think the romance is like thier own movies. It's NOT.
Good luck. Keep at it with a smile and a clear, clever head.
2007-01-25 08:38:45 · answer #3 · answered by birdfightboy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are probably feeling insecure because of your last husband as he used to stay out all night and if it went on for a long time you must of thought at one point "why does he keep going out and leaving me on my own" just thinking like that will cause you to feel insecure and over time it would set in now your scared of losing your new partner maybe he's done something you're ex-husband did? like left his shoes in a certain way anything that reminds you of your ex-husband the slightest thing can cause doubt to set in it's normal till you get to the point of despair with your partner that's when you need to seek some help he loves you and you will have to take his word for it and believe in what he tells you otherwise this whole insecure thing could lead into something else like jealousy now that's a road you don't wanna go down, i hope everything works out for you.
2007-01-25 08:41:25 · answer #4 · answered by mikey v 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can get some counseling. It is obvious that you have issues. I must confess that I have the same fears. That's why I'm single. You need to enjoy your life and live it one day at a time. Stop worrying about what could happen and focus on what is actually happening right now.
Good luck
2007-01-25 08:33:04 · answer #5 · answered by Heaven26 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first thing is that you need to trust him until or if he gives you a reason not to.
second thing is that if you are afraid that he will get bored of you then dont let him get bored.
he says that he loves you.....believe him.
i have been in this situation many times. my first "serious" relationship I had, the guy cheated on me all the time. When I met my husband I was really afraid that he would cheat on me, but now I have the security in us that he won't.
Another thing you could do is scare him. Tell him that if he ever cheated on you, you would hurt him really bad :) just kidding.
Just trust him until or even if he gives you a reason not to.
2007-01-25 08:39:12 · answer #6 · answered by caser 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all starts with how you feel about yourself. He loves you -you know it. You have to love yourself and be confident in who you are and know that this man fell in love with you and only you. He fell in love with your looks, what's inside, and everything else that you do that is lovely. Loving is accepting. I know you have been hurt before but that was then and this is now.
The more you put into yourself - the more your man and anyone else that knows you, will get out of you. Love yourself. Good luck and God bless.
2007-01-25 08:34:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Insecurity is not attractive. you need to work on your self esteem, get counceling if you are unable to control these feelings because these feelings will be what ruins your relationship, it will push him away.The fact that you acknowledge your problem is a good sign so when you get around someone you feel threatened by just focus on how he treats you and makes you feel . just be proud he is with you!
2007-01-25 08:34:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Begin by working on your self esteme!! Get involved with hobbies, classes, volunteer work, make friends and explore things that you like to do. This will help you to build confidence in yourself. Sounds like your relationship is fine, so work on your personal issues!
2007-01-25 08:32:53 · answer #9 · answered by renegade_dancer5678 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont feel those same fears , but exactly opposite. you think that he is so kind and home man so such a true man will never betray you. i my self think that if you say these to yourself more and more , always having fear, so after a while you will believe that it is true. so do not destroy your beautiful future
2007-01-25 08:42:28 · answer #10 · answered by silver needs you 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋