2007-01-25 08:12:38 · 40 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
For this mission you will need:
A half gallon of gasoline
A zippo lighter (fully fueled)
A single cigarette
An alarm clock
First, set your alarm for 4 AM. Then, dressed totally in black (like a ninja) you sneak out to his couch in the dead of night, moving from shadow to shadow (like a ninja). Reaching the couch, douse the entire thing in the gasoline. Then stepping ten feet away from the couch, light the cigarette, take a puff and then say something cool like "Is it hot in here, or is just your couch?" then throw the lighter onto the couch and watch in go up in flames.
Problem Solved
The End !!
2007-01-25 08:19:40 · answer #1 · answered by Blind Sighted 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
This is an easy one:
Take the following steps:
1) Get a dog and feed the dog mounds and mounds of hot creamed corn until its coming out of his ears.
2) Take the dog for a walk towards your neighbors house.
3) Have the dog jump on the couch and dump the soured remains of corn filled crap all over the couch....after all, dogs are allowed to deficate all over your lawn and any lawn ornaments, as long as the owner picks it up.
4) Make a half hearted effort to clean up the mess. (i.e. rub some paper towels in a circular motion pretending to actually remove the defication, only really try to ground it into the fabric as good as you can
5) Say something clever like, "Is it smelly in here, or is that just your couch"
6) Return the dog
The couch should be quickly at the dump in a few short days. If not, burn it.
2007-01-25 08:34:18 · answer #2 · answered by rheins2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing you can do is call either your police department (if you live in a small town) or the City and ask to speak with the Code Enforcement Officer. There should be city ordinances about what people can have in their yards. They will go by his house and tell him he has probably 72 hours to get rid of the couch. If he doesn't, then he gets a very big ticket. If he doesn't pay the ticket, he goes to jail. And if he goes to jail, you can just go dump the couch at the City dump while he's gone =)
2007-01-25 09:09:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could do the fun college-kid-with-too-much-time-on-their-hands routine: take the couch and leave a white chalk outline in it's place OR take the couch and mail your neighbor pictures of the couch with different people sitting on it. Mostly overweight, hairy or dirty looking people. The final letter from the couch could say something like: 'why did you let them get me?' That'll teach him to leave his belongings out.
Just a suggestion...
2007-01-25 08:25:59 · answer #4 · answered by shees_a_challenge 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Contact city hall to see if there is an ordinance he might be in violation of for having an old couch on his lawn. If there is such an ordinance, report him. He should get a fine as well as X number of days to remedy the situation.
2007-01-25 08:18:58 · answer #5 · answered by stevijan 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
If it's not against the rules of your neighborhood assassination, mind your own business. I'm sure there's something about you or your house that people hate.
Or...and this could be pretty funny... just start sitting in the couch and hanging out with your friends. I'm sure it'll piss the neighbor off.
2007-01-25 08:20:48 · answer #6 · answered by Vix 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
go on down to the rail road tracks where the "rail riders" camp out and tell them that there is a wonderful couch in front of your neighbor's house. Tell them they can bring their burn barrel with them and camp out. Give them a few packages of weiners and some marshmallows and let the fun begin.
Hey.........a couch in the yard spells "hospitality" to me.
good luck with your trashy neighbors.
2007-01-25 10:24:42 · answer #7 · answered by Moma 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's what you do.. Pick up the phone, dial 411 and get the number for your local Salvation Army.. Call them up, and ask them to come out and pick up this couch, don't say who's couch it is, but give them your neighbors address. Tell them you'll just leave it on the lawn for them. No receipt necessary.
2007-01-25 08:21:12 · answer #8 · answered by Aunt Henny Penny 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You may need to look into local city or county ordinances to see if they have any ordinances about publicly viewable displays on private property. Unfortunately, it may be that since it is his property (the couch) that is sitting on his land (assuming he owns and doesn't rent), there probably isn't really much you can do about it other than complain.
2007-01-25 08:21:17 · answer #9 · answered by Surf W 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Politely explain to him that nobody wants the neighborhood to look like something out of a Jeff Foxworthy joke. If that don't work set it on fire.
2007-01-25 08:41:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋