Ever since i was 13 i wanted to have a baby. I love kids and i even work at a nursery, i really want to have a baby. Two years ago it was just some little idea that i didnt give two thoughts about but now I think about it all the time, Ive even told my boyfriend not to wear a condom while were having sex (he doesnt know that i want a baby though). I know why I want one, because I want someone who will NEED me and love me more than anything. Is there something wrong with me ? Do other girls go through stages like this ?
2007-01-25 08:10:05 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
OK, I actually dated a girl who wanted nothing more in her life to have a baby, but she realized how hard it is to raise a baby and to succeed in life. There is also the fact that you want to be able to raise that baby correctly and not in poverty. She worked hard and planned on getting a degree in nursing so she could be an obstentrics nurse but ended up getting pregnant before she finished(not by me) and she is now a waiter trying to raise her baby. Her boyfriend works the graveyard shift and she works nights so they hardly ever see each other. If I could say anything to you, I would say this is normal and that it is a natural reaction and feeling for a woman to have, but you need to be smart enough to outthink emotions because you will not be able to raise this baby the way you need to. Do you really want to put your baby through poverty due to your own selfishness?
As for your boyfriend, I wish I had his number so I could tell him what your conniving *** is doing. You're not only going to ruin yours and your baby's life but you're going to ruin his. He has his whole life ahead of him and you're going to have him paying child support before he even finishes high school. You need to get rid of these feelings or you need to find a person who wants to have a kid with you and make a plan with him. This can't be willy-nilly decision and you can't trick your boyfriend into fathering a baby because that is just disgusting.
2007-01-25 08:25:31 · answer #1 · answered by Phat Kidd 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
First off, you may work at a nursery, but at the end of the day you get to go home. It's totally different when the child is your own. You want to go to the movies with your friends? Sorry, not tonight, you've got a baby. Hot date? Just trying bringing a baby along. You've got your eye on that hot pair of shoes in the store window? Whoops, Johnny or Janey need diapers. You want to go to college? Try balancing school AND having a job to pay your bills/support your child.
Don't even think for a second that you're parents are there to help you out. That may work for a little while, but they'll get tired of raising YOUR child and they'll put an end to that.
And do you really think your boyfriend is going to stick around? At 15 I changed boyfriends more than I changed my shirt. Don't think that because you have a child together that means you'll be together forever. Oh but he loves you, right? A baby puts so much stress on a relationship, stress that I don't think a 15 year old can handle. And good luck finding a new boyfriend. What 15 year old boy do you know that wants to date a girl with a kid?
And your friends? Say goodbye to them. They may be there for you at first, but they won't be for long. When they keep trying to make plans with you but you have to blow them off because you have to stay home with the kid, they'll stop trying to even make plans.
What I'm saying may seem a little harsh, but it's the truth. I highly suggest you enjoy your childhood while you can and leave the adult stuff to the adults. Don't take that the wrong way, I'm just telling you from my own personal experience.
2007-01-25 09:02:05 · answer #2 · answered by chsma00 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, all girls do. But you still need to practice safe sex. I would suggest talk to a counselor about your need to have someone love you. A baby won't solve that for you, especially at 15.
It's dishonest to trick your boyfriend in trying to knock you up. You need focus on being a teenager and finishing highschool, getting into college, and establishing a relationship based on more than sex. A child is a full time responsibility - not a pet.
Maybe you should get a dog? I'm serious, not joking. I'm 26 and went through the "I need a baby phase" again. Last year, I got a puppy and it was the best decision I could have made. Now that I'm married, my husband and I are going to start trying for a baby. But we are both out of school and financially secure and can give our future child the time, love, and attention he/she will need.
2007-01-25 09:07:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think there is anything really wrong with you other than the fact that you probably lack the experience to really know what you are getting into.
A baby automatically becomes your number one priority when it is born. It pushes aside all your other hopes or dreams. Finishing high school normally goes out the window. College becomes 10 times more challenging and takes 3 times as long. Then figure the economic drain. Do you have about 300 to 500 dollars a month to pay for the extra expenses incurred with having a baby?
Wait. You will be a much happier person. Also, odds are that the boy you are with it not the guy you will be with when you are 25. I'm not being negative, it's just pure statistics.
2007-01-25 08:23:55 · answer #4 · answered by Kender_fury 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
its normal for a girl to feel as though she wants a baby. someone to call her own, to look up to her, someone she who needs her and will think she is the greatest no matter the mistakes YOu make..... but you got to know why you want one. if its to fill a void, make yourself feel special,.... its selfish and thats the first step to being a bad mother. * age has nothing to do it some of the best mothers i know are teen mothers. baby you dont have anything to offer a baby right now. Partial education, no transportation, no real father figure for the child, do you have an income that two people can live one * do you have enougth to afford a babysitter, diapers etc. if you feel alone now what is going to happen when your alone and stressed out with a child because a baby is not going to help your issues since your doing it for the wrong reasons .... it will most definetly add. then more people are going to have more to talk about! your just going to fuel their fire. Work on yourself esteem mama. you dont want to have a child and depend on the system. just make it through high school it will get better once you leave. I have no idea what school is like now a days! take that feeling you have for a child and put it to use in a different way. if you dont like something about yourself change it if you dont like the way u dress -change it if you want to be more opinionated do it! but what ever you do make sure it is for YOU! now you can be selfish. Nobody else matters. It may hurt for now but endure it your skin will get thicker. one thing you must know is SOMEBODY WILL ALWAYS TALK ABOUT YOU! whether you meet all their "requirement", This is not heaven there's no escape. and a child will definetly not help
2016-03-29 02:25:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just had my first baby last Christmas, so now he is one year old! It has been a wonderful experience and I've loved being a mother! I believe it is completely natural for you to desire to have your own baby- I feel sorry for girls who don't like babies.
However, since having my sweet little boy, I now know that it is a real sacrifice to bring a baby into the world! Of course you know that the whole pregnancy and labor and delivery thing is very difficult and it will make you thankful for what your mother and other mothers have gone through! But, I'm sure you''re thinking, "But, it would be worth all the pain'!" And yes, you're right, it is.
But, the sacrifice doesn't end there. The first year is a very tiring one and without support from a husband who has committed himself to you and the baby, it would be extremely difficult. Yes, you would have a nice feeling of being needed at times, but often you would be so tired and have so much to do that sadly, you have to give out more than you get back for yourself.
It is important too for a baby to be born into a loving family. If someone wanted the best thing for their baby, they would desire to bring a baby into the world with a mother and father who loved each other very much and have made a vow to each other in marriage. A baby needs to see that kind of love between the mother and father. Otherwise, there will always be something missing in his life. I'm sure you're not ready to get married right now at 15! So, the question to ask yourself is "Would I be doing the right thing for my baby?"
We all want to feel needed. And having a baby is great! But, once the baby turns into a toddler, then an older child, then a teen, etc, you will still be left alone. You will continue to look for something fulfilling. You know, the only thing that will ever bring true satisfaction in life is having a relationship with God. He's the One who gives life to all of us. He would love to bring you fulfillment. You can learn more about Him in the Bible. Jesus Christ, His Son came to earth a couple thousand years ago. He lived a perfect life- the only one who ever lived perfectly. Then, He was accused of doing wrong and was killed on a cross. He was killed by soldiers even though He was innocent. Later, He came back to life. Because of this, we have proof that He is God! We all have been guilty of something- big or little- and must be punished for it. However, Jesus was our hero- He died in our place because He loves us. He wants us to have peace and happiness in our lives! When we realize that without Him we are left helpless and alone and when we ask Him for the forgiveness that only He can give, He can give a true peace and fulfillment!
I hope you will think through this. Also, I hope you realize that having a baby will change the course of your life! It is wonderful, but doing what is best for your baby and you is waiting til you have found a man who will love you with all of his heart and is willing to love you enough to marry you! Then, you both, as a team, can enjoy a wonderful new life together. When your baby grows up and leaves home, you and your husband will still have each other - and hopefully you will have peace in your lives with God!
2007-01-25 09:00:33 · answer #6 · answered by islandgirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Baby girl. Children are the most wonderful little creatures in the world. They are also the most needy little creatures. Please do not do this yet. This is a 24 hr/ 7 day a week job. There's no getting tired, nothing goes by your schedule anymore.
When I was your age I wanted children as well. It's been my life's dream forever. But I always knew I couldn't properly take care of a child at that age either. There's no RIGHT time to have a child, but there are plenty of WRONG times. Establish yourself financially as best as you can before you take this leap. In this day and age, this will typically mean you'll need an advanced degree outside of your HS Diploma AND your Bachelors degree.
Please take this time to live your life to the fullest. Travel, make friends, do all the things that will slow down significantly if you decided to have a child right now. Having a baby is the most unselfish thing anyone can or should do.
2007-01-25 08:21:12 · answer #7 · answered by cleo_michelle73 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I went through that stage when I was around your age...I too worked in a nursery. I thought it would be fun to have a baby, to love something so special and new. I only saw the children 4 days out of the week for 5 hours at a time and I thought it would be a snap to take care of a child becuase I already have the expirience you know?
What I didnt really comprehend then was the overwhelming responsibility that would come with being a parent. The sleepless nights, the hard work, its a 24 hours job, not just an afterschool and weekend job, it is endless. To put my daughter first with everything. Hardly having an "me" time. Feeling suffocated by my daughters constant need for attention. Now dont get me wrong....I love my daughter, I love her more than anything in this whole universe, but I still get overwhelmed, I look forward to her naps like I used to look forward to going out with my friends in highschool. Going shopping for me? Maybe groceries for me...Not cute clothes, not makeup, no more non-essentials...
I get excited over cute clothes for my daughter!!! Diapers? On sale? Hell Yeah!! WOOT!!! Baby food on sale?? OMG A BARGAIN!!!!!! Sometimes I will splurge on a new mascera or something that makes me feel somewhat sexy.
Just have fun only taking care of just yourself and being worry free. Go have fun with your friends, go get that cute top at American Eagle. When you have a child, you cant splurge becuase you are constantly feeling guilty about buying "you" stuff, becuase you are always thinking "I could use this money for my childs college, or diapers, or clothes for her".
Wait to have a child, seriously, you dont want to grow up that fast. Live your life as carefree as you can, enjoy highschool to the fullest, enjoy your freedom as long as you can.
2007-01-25 08:40:49 · answer #8 · answered by cleverness_444 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's normal for every girl to think about it at some time when they're young, but trust me at 15 you don't want a baby right now. I know you'll probably hear this from a million people, but you have so much ahead of you. Plus, you need to make sure that you have your life in order before you bring a baby into this world. TRUST ME! No matter how old you are, if you don't have your life straight having a baby is very hard.
Plus, that isn't fair to do to your boyfriend at all. If two people are going to have a baby they need to make the decision together.
2007-01-25 08:21:27 · answer #9 · answered by Kristin R 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to realize something. Having your own child is a LOT more time consuming and stressful and tiring than taking care of someone else's kids at a daycare/nursery. Our first child we had to wake up every three hours (including overnight) to feed him. Our social life was nonexistant. It requires a lot of time, not to mention money to raise a child. Get a high school diploma. Maybe even attend college. Find the right guy to have a child with, not just a convenient guy. This stage will pass. And I'm sure that when you are older, your love will make you a great mother, but I can guarantee that you are not ready yet.
2007-01-25 08:21:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Having a child to fulfill an emotional need in yourself is not only unwise but it is unfair to the child.
What you want is someone who will need and love you more than anything. A baby isn't going to give you what you are looking for. Babies are not givers, they are takers. The relationship between a mother and her baby isn't one where love is given and love is recieved, it is one where the mom gives her everything and the baby keeps asking for more. Now there are moments where the baby will be affectionate or cuddly, but I promise you they do not outweigh the time you will spend giving of yourself and you will not be fulfilled in your desire to be loved.
I have always wanted to be a mom, since I was a young girl. So what you are feeling is normal. What I think you need to know is that if you want to be the best mom you can possibly be for your child you need to put yourself first. You need to get an education, get a career, and get married before you decide to bring a life into the world. Most importantly you need to be able to fulfill your desire to be loved and needed *before* you become a mom.
What is more, your boyfriend is probably as young as you are, and chances are he will not stick around if you get pregnant because he isn't ready for the responsbility. You are trying to manipulate him to get what you want out of him and that isn't how a healthy relationship works. What you are doing to him is wrong.
I am a mom of 2 kids and I can promise you that at 15 no one is ready to become a mom. You need to take care of you first, then think about taking care of others.
2007-01-25 09:46:34 · answer #11 · answered by wendysorangeblossoms 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋