Be honest. I don't mean do you do anything about it, or that you want it to happen, but does it?
I think it's one of the challenges to step parents that no one talks about and that those who aren't step parents don't understand how it can happen (it happens because marrying their mother or father doesn't automatically make you relate to them as your child--it takes a while for a bond to develop, if it ever does).
Just curious.
2007-01-25 08:08:07 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
How about step parents and step siblings? Same situation.
2007-01-25 08:41:57 · update #1
Feelings and emotions aren't "right" or "wrong," they're just natural feelings and emotions. It's what you do about them that are appropriate or inappropriate. I'm guessing a lot of parents don't appreciate their spouse's self-control and are taking way too much for granted.
With or without having to control any attraction to the other's offspring, I think step parents deserve a whole lot more credit than they ever get just for taking on someone else's family and the self-righteous indignation expressed here seems to confirm that. Agree? Disagree?
Anyway, I didn't ask for Mom's opinion, I asked for step parents' actual experience.
2007-01-25 08:49:28 · update #2
Put down the torches and pitchforks, ladies! My stepkids are long grown and out of the house.
2007-01-25 09:13:10 · update #3
I didn't say I ever felt that way toward my step kids, and I never did. I bonded with them right away. It was their own father who might have had problems in that area, according to my wife, that was one of the reasons she left him (don't worry, he died of a drug overdose several years ago).
You people are reading way too much into this question. It was just a question, OK? Put away the sharp objects before you hurt yourselves.
2007-01-25 10:51:47 · update #4
I can see how it happens ... shoot my mom was dating a 28 year old for awhile ( I'm only 25 - she's 41 ) so that would have been very strange - plus he was hot ... lol ... you can only imagine what could happen if you don't have good morals or strong beliefs ... you really have to put yourself in the shoes of a parent ... the child's parent ... no matter what ... and build that special relationship from the beginning ... I wouldn't marry anybody that doesn't try for that relationship with my daughter first ... father daughter bond not step-dad is attracted to my daughter bond ... you're going to get a lot of funny answers ... !
2007-01-25 08:25:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I suppose it all depends on the ages involved, but in truth, even though you aren't blood related, the entire nature of being a parent, if it's step or not, has nothing to do with sex. If you are in parent mode, then you certainly shouldn't have those types of feelings for your child "Step" or not. If you do have those feelings, you need to get help, it's just not right, and you may not have the self control that you think you do....then you would ruin someone's life, wouldn't you?
2007-01-25 08:37:35 · answer #2 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your role as a parent may be the most important job you will ever have in this life. Providing a safe, loving, trusting environment is an essential part of that job and any action you take to destroy that trust and safety will effect your daughter negatively for the rest of her life, and may even pass down to your grandchildren and their children. Seek professional counseling if you have any doubts of self control.
2007-01-25 08:28:17 · answer #3 · answered by Jerry K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Such thoughts should never cross your mind....you as a parent know what lines are not to be crossed....
How would you feel if someone a parent was looking at your child ....that way?
Yes, being a step parent is a challenge...however not that type.
Best wishes
2007-01-25 08:20:33 · answer #4 · answered by travelingirl005 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do yourself a big favor , go to the mirror and tell yourself no no no no no no, those are your kids now, its not right you need to be a man and fight those thoughts, seek help in the lord to give you the strenght to fight it off,, bud i,m not trying to be a *** about it , BUT YOU NO IT IS WRONG you are just trying to find away around it.
and we hope these "kids" are of ledge age if not that is a even larger issue. do the right thing, help your step kids and your self
peace
2007-01-25 09:05:24 · answer #5 · answered by James B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HeeHee thats funny you ask.My ex husband got turned on by our own daughter and when I found out I left him after years..of marriage....He tries to sweep that under the rug,so no one will know..Now he is married again,and his wife has a daughter,Im just waiting until he hits on her daughter and then she can tell the world what he is like...thats something I think goes on a lot but no one talks about...
2007-01-25 08:50:20 · answer #6 · answered by slickcut 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agre with what you said " it is the action you take, that is approprate or not" but I think anyone with any moral values would not act on it, and didn't you mother or step mother ever tell you there is somethings that you take to the grave with you, you should never have voice that "taboo" thought
2007-01-25 11:04:56 · answer #7 · answered by kathy h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it would be absolutely wrong to have those feelings. The person who you married trusts you..how would they feel if they knew you wanted to bed their children? They would want to kill you..i know i would if it were my kids. If a step parent were to act on those feelings..that would make them a bad person.
2007-01-25 08:27:54 · answer #8 · answered by JessF 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good lands NO. Of course you'd have to meet my stepson to understand. Looks like the creature from a really scary movie and he is mean, mean, mean. Just when I think there is a heart under all the dirt/grime/stink, he blows it again.
2007-01-25 08:24:49 · answer #9 · answered by Pam C 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
DUDE THERE STILL CHILDREN LIKE 6 TO 15. WHAT ARE YOU, YOU'RE LIKE A 200 IN DOG YEARS FACE IT THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO ARE ATTRACTED TO YOU IS YOUR WIFE. sorry if you're offended but it's not right to think that
2007-01-25 15:10:27 · answer #10 · answered by alovedgirl1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋