How should i tell my 13 yr old how to have sex?..?

Question

I dont want to use any of that birds and bees stuff i really wanna tell her everything so she doesnt find things out from others..what should i say?

Answer 1

Don't worry about knowing all the answers to your children's questions; what you know is a lot less important than how you respond. If you can convey the message that no subject, including sex, is forbidden in your home, you'll be doing just fine.


While our children need to know the biological facts about sex, they also need to understand that sexual relationships involve caring, concern and responsibility. By discussing the emotional aspect of a sexual relationship with your child, she will be better informed to make decisions later on and to resist peer pressure. If your child is a pre-teen, you need to include some message about the responsibilities and consequences of sexual activity. Conversations with 11 and 12-year-olds, for example, should include talks about unwanted pregnancy and how they can protect themselves.

One aspect that many parents overlook when discussing sex with their child is dating. As opposed to movies, where two people meet and later end up in bed together, in real life there is time to get to know each other -- time to hold hands, go bowling, see a movie, or just talk. Children need to know that this is an important part of a caring relationship.
http://www.talkingwithkids.org/sex.html

When talking to parents I often get the sense that for them everything is building up to the "big sex talk". The reality is that there is rarely just one conversation. More likely there are thousands of small moments of learning and teaching about sex. Whether it is your two year old who lifts her dress at formal family occasions, or your five year old who has just discovered the seemingly endless potential for farting jokes, kids are constantly testing the waters of what is okay and not okay, and your reactions will always be taken in. If it helps, consider the fact that you have lots of opportunities to get this right, make mistakes, clarify and try again. For a radical idea, consider that the most important thing you can communicate to your child is that there are no easy answers when it comes to sexuality, and that learning is an ongoing process, which you are also still doing.
http://sexuality.about.com/od/talkingwithyourkids/Talking_With_Your_Kids_Teens_About_Sex.htm

http://www.googobits.com/articles/2614-how-to-talk-to-kids-about-sex.html

http://www.valuesparenting.com/talktokids.php

http://www.talkingwithkids.org/sex.html

Answer 2

Wow, I really hope you are her mom and not her dad! Almost sound incest like!

She's 13, explain in moderation but let her enjoy her childhood. 13 is to young to be having sex and I can't believe you would be encouraging it by giving her the play by play on how it works!

I'm not saying shelter her, but she's not stupid. I'm sure she has already heard more than enough to get her by. Just make sure you tell her the importance or safety and protection. How horrible if you told her everything, she has sex tomorrow and ends up with STDs for the rest of her life.

Answer 3

Tell her straight out she probably has gotten some info all ready. you can use a health book start with the basics, how. then talk about feelings and go from there let her ask questions and approach her from the stand point that you want to make sure she has the right information. don't get frustrated if she seems uncomfortable or un-interested she's 13. you can talk about it on a walk or even over some Starbucks in a quiet corner so she feels its private. but most of all let her know she can always about anything talk to you no matter how uncomfortable she feels she may make you. keep it real!

Answer 4

The basic rule is to answer only what is asked. create a dialogue that allows her to be comfortable asking what ever it may be that she wants to know. She doesnt need ALL the information yet, but should have information that regards to safety, wellbeing, and self worth.

Answer 5

Get her the book "What's Happening to My Body" (link below). Tell her straight out (she probably knows more than you think) and let her read the book, and use it for a reference if she has questions that she is too embarrassed to ask you.

Answer 6

You have a 13 year old daughter and your name is cheergrl?

Get her a book or something.

Answer 7

you want to tell her HOW, oh boy maybe you should rethink that