we all make mistakes and we all learn from them. i know everyones entitled to thier opinion, but do you have to be so cruel. i have left the guy so that he can keep the promise he made to his wife. I'm not asking for world peace , but calling someone a twit or a dumba** is not helping.
2007-01-25 07:25:31 · 16 answers · asked by seialie (pronounced sally) 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
you've admitted it. you've learnt a lesson not to do this again, so you've grown. ppl are cruel cos they are thinking about the wife and the kids involved who were being hurt by this when they did nothing to deserve it. you and him are seen as the cruel and selfish ones by others. its something you have to live with and deal with when you do this kind of thing. but sincere congrats on your recovery. find a single man who is worthy of you and will sincerely love you. best of luck.
2007-01-25 07:41:11 · answer #1 · answered by warr31 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
People are cruel because you were seeing someone who had made a vow to another woman to be with her for life and you interfered in that. You say you made a mistake, and I believe you did, however, as well as a mistake, it was a conscious choice on your part to be involved with a married man. You need to investigate why you would even think of seeing a man who is already legally and morally bound to another woman. I am not trying to be rude, but did you really think he would leave his wife for you? Married men seldom do leave their wives. The man you were involved with deserves blame also, but he didn't post on Answers, you did. You really have to expect some negative feedback, since most people despise someone who tries to break up a home. I really am glad that you let him go, but you must be strong and stay away no matter what he tells you, because no good will come of this relationship, he will use you and guilt you and he will still be going home to his wife while you go home to an empty house, he will be holding and making love to his wife after he leaves your arms, he will be eating dinner with her and helping her while you are eating alone in front of the TV and you are doing everything alone. Don't you think you deserve to have someone entirely your own? I hope you never seek out a married man again. Good luck.
2007-01-25 07:42:19 · answer #2 · answered by Premo Mom 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I read your other question.
You sound very young, and I feel very, very old saying this, but I feel I have to, so bear with me, please.
It is a very, VERY dangerous world out there! The idea of just randomly dialing a phone number and hoping prince charming picks up is incredbly foolish, and could put you in a lot of danger. Not just the emotional danger of being led on or lied to by a less than honorable guy, either. Aside from the sick-o's out there that you can find (without looking too hard, I might add!), some of these people may have significant others who are equally (or more!) unstable and may decide to look for revenge.
I don't want to scare you, but on some level I do. That was a REALLY DANGEROUS thing to do!! Honestly, you're lucky the guy who answered the phone was just married, and not a serial killer with previous girlfriends buried under his back porch. It's my hope for you that you'll reconsider engaging in such a dangerous activity.
Okay, I'm done lecturing now.
As for people being rude to you, people HATE the other woman. It's just the way it is. When you're the other woman, you're going to be percieved as the home-wrecker who has lured a good man away from his adoring wife. Now, I've been around long enough to realize that's not always the scenario (we ALL know that!!), but it's very easy to place blame on the other woman (or the other man, for that matter!!). The truth of the matter is that it takes two to tango.
I don't think you deliberately tried to seduce him away from his wife, and I applaud your courage to leave when you found out he was married.
I'm glad that you've learned from your mistake. Everyone's made them - it's when we learn from them that we grow. Please keep this lesson in mind as your go on with life. And please, please, please think twice before just dialing a phone number again!!
Best of luck to you.
2007-01-25 08:27:51 · answer #3 · answered by sylvia 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its important to remember that you put yourself in the hands of strangers when you are honest online. I applaud your honesty and ask that you forgive the people that have been rude to you.
A greater question might be....do you think about your decisions before you make them? Do you set guidlines for yourself in relationships, friendships, and love? Has it occoured to you that real love has to do with commitment and and being selfless by both individuals and not concerning how attracted a person is or how much emotions you feel for them?
I think often that married people need to keep that directly in mind as well...not just the people around them.
Its good to admit and see mistakes....its better to have it affect all future planning.
2007-01-25 07:43:55 · answer #4 · answered by aarondarling 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I read your other question. Just don't make random phone calls looking for guys because you are bound to get any kind of person willing to do things far worse than just commit adultery with you. Be careful.
No I don't think you are a twit---just a little too adventurous
2007-01-25 08:04:21 · answer #5 · answered by * 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look the guy most likely gave you a line that he loved you, that he is going to leave his wife, someday and who knows what else. All women want to believe in the man they are in love with and they will give them every chance. I don't fault you, I fault the dick head that did this unless you didn't care. I will not judge you. Walk in peace and find a good man who will love you for you.
2007-01-25 07:41:02 · answer #6 · answered by cowboybronco01 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
We can't help how we feel for other people - but you definitely showed a serious lack of impulse control by sleeping with another woman's husband. You left the guy? Do you want a medal for doing what's right and decent?
2007-01-26 09:29:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To answer your question -
People may have been liberal with their feedback because falling in lust with a married man or woman hardly ever works out. It's like an age old question thing.
Now, buck up little camper and move on.
2007-01-25 07:37:58 · answer #8 · answered by PO'd in Portland 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Most people dislike "the other woman" even if they don't know them. The fact is that (and sorry--I didn't read your original question) if you KNEW that this man was married when you started dating him, you should have walked away. That's why people are being so unkind to you--you did something very, very morally wrong, and did it knowingly.
2007-01-25 07:56:39 · answer #9 · answered by brevejunkie 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
look i understand and well i think that you cant control who you fall in love with I'm glad you let him go to be faithful to his wife but will he really be if he is not happy with her. i didn't answer your first question but i think that you are just a women in love nothing else so no one has the right to judge you in a profane way.
2007-01-25 08:17:05 · answer #10 · answered by cosita 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋