I recently began a new job and have been slowly getting to know my peers. There is one man who consistenly walks by my desk and stares in my office at me- sometimes even stopping to stare at me for a second or two. I am not the only one who has witnessed this- as two other peers have as well. At first, I thought, well I'm new, everyone is staring probably trying to figure out who I am. But now its been almost a month. My peers told me "he is weird." Now, do i just go on ignoring this because this guy is "weird"? Or, what can else can I do? Should i confront him- (although i must admit he's already made me pretty uncomfortable and I am nervous if I confront him he will think I have interest in him) He walks by my office regularly, more than 10 times a day, (although it is out of his way to normal office locations (ie: bathrooms, copy room, etc.) What should I do? I dont want him to continue to stare at me daily - I feel like I'm on display. Any advice greatly appreciated!
2007-01-25 07:17:05 · 8 answers · asked by Ninihada 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
His behavior falls under sexual harassment and is completely unacceptable. I would suggest you look up your company's sexual harassment policy, then talk to your immediate supervisor and tell him or her about it before the situation escalates. Try and record anything he has said or done, when it started, etc so you have a good case against him. Also, it might help if you can get some of your colleagues to act as 'witnesses' to his behavior. And please do not feel guilty that you are ratting this guy out-he needs to be taught a lesson so no one else has to go through this. Good luck!
2007-01-25 07:33:58 · answer #1 · answered by chickadee 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Talk to your supervisor about it and let him/her know that this guys behavior is creeping you out. You shouldn't feel threatened in the workplace, but uncomfortable is not against the law, so be on your toes and document everything in detail as to what is happening, who you reported to, what you reported, what action was taken in your view, etc.
Work with the "offending" co-worker and deal with him in a professional manner, trying to have a witness available when doing so will help in the long run. Stage conversations with him in front of someone else's cubicle/office and make note of any interaction you may have with regards to this man.
In cases were a pattern of abuse was found, it was the thorough documentation of the offended person that made the difference more often than not. Be accurate, be honest and be impersonal when commenting on it either verbally or in writing, just the facts ma'am, just the facts.
2007-01-25 07:32:18 · answer #2 · answered by kb6jra 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
1st time - Say politely, "Can I help you with something?"
2nd time - Say politely, "Oh, did you need a hand with something now?" (adding "now" makes sure he knows you remember the first time he came by)
3rd time - Say jokingly, "YOU again? Really, can I get something for you?"
4th time - Say jokingly, "Now, this is just getting eerie! It's like every time I look up I see you!"
I'm pretty sure that will work, and it will also maintain a polite, friendly atmosphere in the office (even though I know he's not being polite, don't stoop to his level!). Try that for three or four days, and if he doesn't let up out of embarassment you can talk to your boss or the HR department.
2007-01-25 12:01:27 · answer #3 · answered by Jetgirly 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just look at him when he is staring at you and smile. It will make him uncomfortable. If he gets the mistaken idea that you have some interest in him, just cut conversations short explaining that you need to get back to work or blatantly noting you are not interested. Just be nice, smile, and he will fade into the woodwork.
2007-01-25 07:29:21 · answer #4 · answered by Phoenix, Wise Guru 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
the first time he stops look up and say,"what do you want?"
the second time, say " second time you stopped. what do you want?"
the third time say, " number 3. what do you want?"
all day long. this way you can also keep count of how many times he does it.
OMG my letters are getting out-lol (ocd, add, adhd, etc)
does this man have mental issues? honestly, is he borderline normal/retarded, because they have a way of looking 'normal' , but not acting in a 'normal' way. i used to live in a town with a guy like this, but everyone knew he wasn't totally normal except him.
2007-01-25 07:46:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Next time he is staring at you, ask him if he needs something or what you can do for him. If he studders and stamers then turn back to your desk and start working. He will get the idea. Body language speaks volumes.
2007-01-25 07:36:29 · answer #6 · answered by Alice, Pennsylvania 1 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Personally, it wouldn't bother me. I probably wouldn't even notice someone staring at me. But if it bothers you, this is what I suggest:
You look up at him and say something like, "Can I help you?" You have to put the ball in his court. If he is at a loss for words, he probably won't bother you anymore. That probably won't happen.
If he says something out of line, you jump down his throat. You tell him to watch his mouth, or something like that. The object is to throw him off balance. Make sure that one of your friends is there to give you moral strength, or help in case you get tongue-tied. That should solve your problem.
2007-01-25 07:37:42 · answer #7 · answered by iraqisax 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
All you have to do is make yourself comfortable now.
Do whatever you want to comfort yourself there.
that person could drop a bomb next to you, but you need to remain relax and peace in your soul. Be happy.
2007-01-25 09:53:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋