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Ok,,, so i grew up always getting everything i wanted and now I am having problems because I expect the same thing from my boyfriend of a year. If everything doesn't go my way, he pays for it majorly. Does anyone have any suggestions on how can i stop being like this? or can anyone relate?

2007-01-25 07:12:45 · 85 answers · asked by SweetP~ 1 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

85 answers

You need a spanking

2007-01-25 07:17:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 9 2

You aren't by any chance a leo female are you??? I once dated a spoiled brat and it ended pretty fast because the whole relationship felt like work. I'm not sure if you are also high maintenance as well, but let me tell you, it's a tremendous pain to around someone like this.

As for suggestions, just realize that when you are being a spoiled brat, it's really taxing on the boyfriend's nerves. It's not to say that you should be pampered from time to time. That's fair and I'd be willing to negotiate pamper time and baby talk time with you if you were my girlfriend. But when it starts to feel like I have to change your diaper and feed you and massage your achy neck every other hour, then, it's a little too innundating.

The only advantage to having a spoiled brat as a girl friend, is that, by all the hard work and lack of time to be lazy, I actually tend to stay in shape with the running around required to make you happy.

2007-01-25 07:23:00 · answer #2 · answered by Tones 6 · 0 0

You have the intelligence to realize that there is a problem, so I'm sure you can also make the changes. Getting everything you want is not how the world works. It's dangerous and can start all kinds of problems. Make a decision to start doing things for other people. This is where the most joy comes from. It truly is better to give than receive. Try it for a month and see if you don't feel better, and see if people don't start seeing you in a different way.

2007-01-25 07:23:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

That's a hard one. It's like they say, you can't teach an old dog new tricks. Not calling you a dog, but after you've dealt with always getting what you've wanted, when you want it, its kinda hard to just stop. Your not going to be able to just stop. You'll have to gradually wean your self from it like a toddler with a bottle or favorite blanket. They cant just put the bottle down, or loose the blanket. You have to slowly make it disappear. With you, maybe if you try doing more for yourself as a start, it would help. And when you do splurge and have to have it your way and it don't happen, tone down the punishment. Dont make it such a big deal, then you'll eventually get used to getting over it, so it wont piss you off as bad. Hopefully this helps. Just remeber, in a constitution of monarchy, parliment has all the real power..not the princess!

2007-01-25 07:23:41 · answer #4 · answered by punky brewster 3 · 0 0

Being a Brat means lack of discipline, you probably didn't get enough spanking when you were a kid. Blame it on your parents! The only way you can change it is when you find somebody who's tougher than you are. Obviously, your boyfriend has no back bone, he's weak and coward to tell you when you're being too spoiled or too much. That is sad, because people tend to take advantage once they get a chance and that's the way you are. We can only learn the pain and realize what we caused others when we found our match. I believe in Karma, if you don't try to change that way then, in time it will bounce back to you big time! It's a matter of self-discipline; self-control and knowing how respect others as well as yourself.

2007-01-25 09:12:26 · answer #5 · answered by chesnutt 1 · 0 0

Try volunteering at a homeless shelter, food bank,after school program etc. Any place that people who are really in need of help are. Maybe that will make you appreciate what you do have and all the excessive things you have and don't appreciate you could donate. Another word for spoiled brat is selfish. Think about some one else for a change.

2007-01-25 07:22:59 · answer #6 · answered by justme 6 · 0 0

Dear Sweet P~,

I can totally relate. I grew up getting what I wanted and being catered to by maids and drivers now it's still difficult trying to be "adult."

Your boyfriend seems to love you a lot if he is putting up with your behavior. The thing is: Is this what you want your relationship to be? With you being the "user" and him being "used"? If you truly love him, why make him "pay majorly"?
I know my mean streak came out because I was very insecure but I found that deciding to take charge of your thoughts and actions can greatly improve your relationship. You can concentrate more on being "together" (more interactive) as equals and "relating to each other", rather than him just pampering you.

If you truly want to stop your behavior, it will take effort AND constant awareness of your thoughts and actions. There is a tremendous amout of pride and confidence that comes out of doing things and acquiring things for yourself. It has been work for me but deviating from my usual self has helped me grow as a person. It helped me look at myself better and BE in a more meaningful relationship wherein my husband and I are both healthy adults in a relationship of equals.

By nature, us Spoiled Brats (he still calls me that - lovingly, of course!) are very selfish. So it all depends on what you want.

If you are happy with the way things are then make sure you don't act to the extreme or no one (or someone unhealthy) will want to be with you. Believe me, being with a "doormat" gets boring and being "set up on a pedestal" is SO overrated.

It is OK to be pampered once in a while but there is also such joy in going out of your way to do special things for your loved one, too. I'd suggest you read "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. It gives women a better idea on how to BE in a relationship.

Good Luck,
Still spoiled but a better ME!!!

2007-01-26 06:12:38 · answer #7 · answered by MamaBearKnowzz 3 · 0 0

Well, I'd say your not a spoiled brat. But however, you're used to having everything you want. That's okay, but getting everything you want is NOT good for a person. Seeing a counselor by yourself could really help. They can give you ways not to be so needy and wanty with your boyfriend. You will improve, and your boyfriend will see results. Don't worry, stick in there and everythings going to be just fine. You really need to see that counselor though, that's whats going to make everything else better in life :).

2007-01-25 07:27:22 · answer #8 · answered by Lady N 2 · 0 0

OMG! Honey, I went through the same thing growing up. Got everything I wanted from Daddy and Mommy couldn't change his mind.....until one day, Daddy wasn't there. My parents had issues and she kicked him out. I continued to get what I wanted, however, he ended up loosing his job, turning to drugs and that left me, my mom and my little sister w/ nothing. My mom started working part time at a school as an Aid and I was like 12/13, I know I was a Freshman in High School. I started working under the table to help my mom pay bills. When I finally got a boyfriend, I was the same way as I was w/ my dad. I expected everything to be handed to me and when I didn't get it, they paid. People around me thought I was just being a *****, but in reality..we didn't do this to ourselves....our parents did. Then they want to kick us out once we hit 18 and tell us to do it on our own....when all along, they should have been teaching us how to earn everything and be responsible and independent. Luckily for me...I learned the hard way...I had to help out my mom so we could survive. I still wanted everything from a man and I think I stayed that way for a long time because of my dad leaving. I felt like I should make the "man" pay for it. Now, I have two girls and am single. I take care of me and my two girls. No help at all. It's hard, but I had to learn the hard way. You don't appreciate what is given to you out of love from your boyfriend or husband until it is too late....you continue to expect it and it shouldn't be like that. You should go out and get him something nice...not expensive, but nice. Something special. Something that you know he may have mentioned he liked or wanted and surprise him. It's not the size of the gift either. It's more of the thought. It could be a shirt he saw someone wearing on TV, but for you to go and find it for him, that would make his day because he knew that you were paying attention to what he was saying and you remembered enough to get it. Always appreciate what is given to you. If you really like this guy, which I am assuming you do because you have been w/ him for a year, then you need to show him. Show him what he means to you before it is too late. Also, don't use sex. That does not show him how much you love him....unless you make it romantic. Good luck.

2007-01-25 07:37:21 · answer #9 · answered by one_hotmom_2 1 · 0 0

Admitting it is the first step toward overcoming it. You need to realize that you aren't the only, or the most important person in the world. The world doesn't revolve around you (or anybody else, for that matter). Other people have needs, just like you do, that are equally as important. When you come to terms with these facts, you will be able to stop being spoiled and bratty.

2007-01-25 07:23:19 · answer #10 · answered by kj 7 · 0 0

Well first of all you arent married so he is not entitled to have to buy you anything. You need to just teach yourself self control and to not expect things when you out shopping and that while that period in time was nice to get everything it is now over. I was spoiled rotten when I was a kid but I do not expect my boyfriend of 2 years to buy me everything, I just learned how to rely on myself and that some things I just can not have and there is always tomorrow if you cant have it today(not literally tomorrow but another time) . Every time he buys you something you should buy him something to then you will really see the effect how much he is having to buy or how much you ask for.

2007-01-25 07:22:15 · answer #11 · answered by ehrlich 6 · 0 0

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