he is much better now than he was 2 years ago, he is a very good sweet boy, but when he makes a mistake or does something he does not suppose to do, my husband gets very ungry; sometimes he tells him he has no brain, and others he starts yelling at me in from of him, like it is my fault. I have a 18 year old girl and a 5 year old boy, they are my life, I work every single day of my live to provide my family with everything; he does not have a good job, and sometimes i put that like an excuse. Once he told me that i do not know how to raise kids, that they will do whatever they want because I do not give them a consecuence; and I do, but not in the way he does; another time he left my son without tv and toys for a week, and if he gets uncover during the night (he has atshma) he draws a big red X on the wall next to his bed, so my son wakes up in the morning and the first thing he does is look at the wall, and if he finds the red X he gets really scared.I think this is to much to handl
2007-01-25 06:48:57 · 22 answers · asked by tt1125 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
You need to tell your husband that he needs to stop that behavior or he needs to leave. Why would you tolerate for him to treat your children that way? Give him an ultimatum and tell him that if he's not willing to work on his issues, he knows where the door is.
What are you doing with such a jackass? Your children should be your priority, and you can find a man out there that will care for them as much as you do.
2007-01-25 07:05:10 · answer #1 · answered by amarilysusa 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think when it comes down to it, there is only so much parenting someone can do for someone else's child. If you feel like he is out of line, then tell him he is. There is never any reason to call a child stupid. Putting a child down will only hurt them emotionally. While I think it is okay to talk about things with your spouse. He shouldn't be blaming you for your 5 year old being 5 mentally and physically. Tell your husband if he wants to continue to be a jerk, then he should be going to counselling. He is the one who is acting as if he has no brain, and he is the one making mistakes here.
I'm sorry, but your husband either is a loser or you are just mad at him. Either way, you need to work this out together or split up. It is not good for children to be put in the position of seeing their parents argue all the time. They live what they learn, eventually your son will grow up and he will treat his wife or children this way. Obviously if you have an 18 year old, you do know how to raise children. Tell your husband that you managed to take care of yourself and your kids with out him, and you could do it again if you needed to. He is probably only being this way because he has self esteem issues and is trying to make his role in this family seem more important because he has a crappy job, and isn't pulling his own weight. It is what it is. If you feel like you are in a bad spot than you probably are. If you feel like he is being a jerk to your kids than he probably is. Please remember that there is a BIG difference between parenting and abusing. Please take care, I hope you work this out.
2007-01-25 07:07:48 · answer #2 · answered by Rachel T 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Chuck E. Cheese may be a lucrative place, but it would be more of a "take a baby girl and leave your son behind with a note" instead of an actual trade. Your son will be fine as long as you give him a lot of tokens to show how much you love him. Just remember that you can't trade back when your 15 year old daughter comes home pregnant, or becomes a stripper. You are on your own.
2016-05-23 23:00:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband seems to believe in the tough love method of raising children. Does he also show affection to your son ? Do they spend time together doing fun things ? Did they get on before you married him ? Did you talk about how and what his parenting role would be before you married ? Has your husband's attitude and behaviour changed towards you and your children since you married ?
If you answer these questions to yourself, you will need to make a decision about how to deal with this problem. Your son deserves to grow up with affection as well as discipline. You as his mother are honour bound to do your best to see that this happens. Your daughter at 18 is an adult and can decide to leave home if she wishes, your little boy cannot do this, he looks to you to protect him and love him. I wish you good luck.
2007-01-25 07:06:40 · answer #4 · answered by lizzie 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is bordering on mental abuse to you and your children. Tell him what his place is and that he has clearly overstepped his boundries. He does not have an equal say in how they are raised, he is not their parent or legal guardian. Make it clear to him that if he has a problem with your children then he has a problem with you. If he belittles you infront of anyone, or ever, tell him its inappropriate and not an effective tool to gain control over you.
Good Luck, I'm sure he has no mal-intent, it does however sound like he feels powerless in the situation and is trying to gain control over something which clearly bothers him. I'd try booking a sitter and take him out for the night so you can talk uninterrupted for as long as you need to.
2007-01-25 08:17:07 · answer #5 · answered by Noota Oolah 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ma'am this is called emotional abuse. First of all he should not yell at you at all, especially not in front of the kids. Secondly he should not talk to your son in this manner. This young man will grow up and have low self esteem and feel that he is worthless because of the way this looser is talking to him.
You really need to sit this man down and have a serious talk with him about respect and what will and will not be tolerated in your home around your children. Seek counseling if necessary. May God bless you and your family.
2007-01-26 01:02:55 · answer #6 · answered by Cheryl J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are your children and you need to take care of them first. I know you love your husband but if you feel that he is not treating your kids the right way then you need to leave. They should never be scared of a parent especially at 5 years old. I have come in second behind my stepdad and it made me look at my mother differently for the rest of my life. Children always come first. Good Luck!
You have very good spelling for not being a US citizen.
2007-01-25 07:05:56 · answer #7 · answered by Maroo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would put a stop to all of the negativeness in the house,your son should not have to worry about waking up scared in teh morning and leaving a 5 year ols without toys for a week is way too much, it sounds like your husband is the one that does not know how to raise kids and he should not be yelling at you in front of your children i would put a stop to it one way or another before it gets too serious....
2007-01-25 07:01:44 · answer #8 · answered by cnwhab4 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husband sounds like a real jerk. He also sounds like he is a ticking time bomb. He is verbally and emotionally abusing your son and it's not a far stretch to get to physical abuse. If your husband refuses counseling - I'd seriously consider divorce and raise your child on your own. No one, especially an innocent young child, with help problems, no less, deserves to live in fear. Good Luck - you have some tough choices to make but if it were me I'd be gone.
2007-01-25 07:00:43 · answer #9 · answered by cando 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to get rid off your husband, I don't think that is a good way to educate your children,if your son is only 5 why he has to be punishment all the time is not fair ,he has the right to enjoy his childhood don't let other people take it away.....talk to your husband and let him know about what you think...I have a boy at the same age yours and believe me is completely normal make some kind of mistakes ,,I think your husband feels himself unsuccessful and the way to make you feel bad because you are not,is battering your children,think in your children.don't let anybody abuse them.
2007-01-25 07:17:44 · answer #10 · answered by Mex Girl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋