What are some good ideas on how to get my 4yr old to listen and what are some good family games with a 4 , 6yr

Question

Me and my husband are having problems with our 4yr old listening and its getting out of control at home and at school. We do time out and take things away and it doesnt work. Also him and his 6yr old brother fight about EVERYTHING EVERYDAY. What can i do to get them from fighting so much? What are som good family games to play with them that will get their attention and help them get along and share? HELP ME PLEASE

Answer 1

let me come over and deal with them... my kids if they got out of line theyed GET IT!!!. my ex told me years ago that i was bully to them but they listen to be and they don't disrepect me, but they do disrepect my ex because he did'nt do what i did. if they want to fight .. i'll give them a fight!!!!, i tell them once and only once and then there butts are MINE!!!. you may not like what i say but it works. with love lois :)
p.s. forget the damm cookies and all that nice stuff sweety... if you don't take care of it now its owny going to get worse.
p.s.s. and forget the games honey, you have a lot of work to do with those kids and playing games is not one of them...maybe if you have some time but it sounds like these kids are like wild animals. there lucky there not mine with love lois (aka rath of god)

Answer 2

one thing would be get big cardboard boxes and make forts.
kids love big boxes.

maybe some separate activitys. group or hobbies.

dont underestimate kids. they learn from everything. which makes you the absolute role model. treat them like you would want to be treated.

ever heard takes 2 to fight. maybe some separate times would bring peace, and people that see each other less tend to fight less.

School? I explained to my son how others would see him if he did less than ideal things and what it leads to.

Your time out isnt as bad as you think, kids have lots of time. Removing things? Are the kids overstimulated with toys, tv, pc? They arent worried about a few things.

You could pit good behavior gets reward on them.

Another idea I like is PROBLEM. Whenever things need a new direction. I make up a major problem that would make your problem seem miniscule and suddenly all attention gets diverted to it. This works many ways. Fire, water leak, the in general OMG! and other versions all work and more. use it often.

sometimes though just be a kid and you'll see their problems are just as serious as your own.

Answer 3

Is there any way to change preschool to the afternoon? If not, try getting him up earlier in the morning, and keep him up later in the evening so he will need a nap again. Let Dad wear him out during these extra hours. He's awfully young to be skipping all naps. Putting him in front of a game for over an hour is not good for him at his age.

Answer 4

If it is a problem for your 4 year old to listen, please consider having him checked for Aspergers. Many still function well in society, with a mild form, but parents need to know specific things to teach him. It will help keep you from losing your mind/ temper and help you understand him better.

If you want info on it, just do a search on the web. They give great examples and signs to look for. If you need a diagnosis, start with your pediatrician or school, they can get you pointed in the right direction.

The reason you should look first into Asperger's is that is the most common complaint - they won't listen.

Good luck.

Answer 5

First of all, you HAVE to be consistent!! Whatever punishment you decide to use will only work if you are consistent with it!!!! EVERYTIME he doesn't listen to you or your husband, punish him! Don't talk to him, don't argue with him, just follow through with the punishment! Verbally make it clear to him each and every time that he must listen. I suggest talking to his teacher at school and asking her to report to you each time he doesn't listen there. When you pick him up, immediately address his behavior and follow through with punishing him. He will quickly come to understand that this behavior is not going to be accepted!

As far as the fighting between brothers - Some of that is going to happen no matter what you do, but you really need to set ground rules about what you will and will not accept. A technique I used to use, that worked great was - if I ever heard my boys calling each other hurtful names or hitting each other, I would immediately sit them down, talk to them about how important their relationship is and explain that they need to respect each other. I would say things like "we are family and we stick together no matter what", "love your brother, he will always be there for you"...etc..... Make it good and make them understand that they should love and respect each other!! Then, this is the killer--I would always make my boys hug each other and look each other in the eyes and say "I love you". You will be amazed at the change you will see if you are consistent. You will instill respect in them and they will develop a different type of relationship! However, don't expect miracles! They are still brothers and naturally competitive, so they will still argue! Your job is just to be sure they are "fighting nice".

Good luck to you! Consistency in the key!! And, remind them both, as much as possible, that you love them!

Answer 6

The fighting is natural. I have sisters who are 10. (twins) I watched my mother struggle on making them compromise and it usually ended in bribes. Here is what I suggest.
1- tell your son that every day he is good he gets a star on his chart.
2-make the chart
3-record his stars and after he gets so many reward him. This may sound like a bribe but it is making him decide on how he wants to behave, and the consequences, before he acts. Have your 6yr old participate as well.

Answer 7

Hullabaloo is a game my kids love. There is nothing to fight about in the game and its exercise, listening to instructions, and recognizing shapes, themes etc. Great game.

http://www.amazon.com/Cranium-104030000-100E-Hullabaloo/dp/B00008MIGQ

As far as getting your child to listen...don't tell them 5 times to do something, tell him once. If he doesn't react, that is the time to start your punishments. Time out, taking away privelages, toys, television, whatever it is he enjoys. I personally am a fan of good spankings, but I reserve those for particular situations, such as biting, hitting, kicking.

Answer 8

We do time outs and standing in the corner
My 11 year old likes to blind fold my 3 1/2 year old and they find each other by calling their name. It is fun to watch them and play too.
We do arts and crafts a lot. Make believe games are fun.
Clear everything off the table and put a sheet over it for a quick tent or maybe it is a castle.
Make no bake cookies or ginger bread houses with frosting and gram crackers.
Good luck to you

Answer 9

some good games would be chutes and ladders tractor tipping(disneys movie cars). some ways to get your 4yr old to listen is to give him some disipline try taking away his most IMPORTANT possesion. try separating your 6 yr old and 4yr old when you hear the first scream or cry then one of them will get bored and want to play nicely. you could also try to get them to sit down and talk to them. if they wont sit down at that monment then wait alittle bit till he is just sitting down playing alone and talk to him nice and calm.you might want to buy a reward chart for chores like no time out, be nice to brother,good at school,brush teeth, no hitting no yelling,etc. And if your 4yr old gets a certain amount of checks tokens cards etc. then he gets a reward at the end of the week. one of the great reward charts that you could get is the "i do monkey" search it on yahoo! and try to get to the website to buy the product. if you cant find it at yahoo! go and try it at ebay. i hope this works for you

Answer 10

Well when you take things away, do you follow through? Is your punishment harsh enough. Give him a warning, if he doesnt listen take away tv or his favorite snack. Listen to Dr.Ray on relevantradio.com or your local am network, he gives great advice about this stuff, call him he is very nice.