my oldest son, whom is 5, only knows my ex husband as dad. he is not really his father but he has been there for my son since he was born. my ex and I had a baby (13 months old) but have decided to seperate. of course my ex comes around to visit the baby and my oldest son always calls him daddy.
is it wrong of me to allow him to keep calling him dad? or should i make him stop?
2007-01-25 06:41:53 · 20 answers · asked by Jacinda 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Just let him keep calling him dad. All he knows is that this man has been there from day one. He is too young to understand and if your ex is ok with it then let it stay that way.
2007-01-25 06:48:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well since he has been there since the day he was born and it's all he knows then it will be hard to get him to stop, but you do need to be sure of several things for the future:
How does you ex feel about being called daddy?
Are you going to tell your son (when he is old enough ofcourse) that he is not his birth father?
Does your ex treat him differently now that you have a son together?
Also, you need to consider what happens when your ex moves on w/ his life and has another wife or serious gf because she may not be comfortable with the fact, especially if they plan to have children together.
Bottom line: You can't make him stop now because he is way too young to understand, but try to correct him when he says "dad" and use his first name instead. Kids are smart, eventually he will catch on. It will be better for everyone involved.
2007-01-25 06:55:46 · answer #2 · answered by mvngs 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you ex still treats him like his own then there is no reason to make him stop calling him dad for he is his "DAD", if your ex is being rude or ignoring your son now that you are not together then you might need to have a talk with your son and let him know that it is not his fault and that this man no longer is his dad but honest but remember he is only 5 so say it simply too.
2007-01-25 06:51:29 · answer #3 · answered by slynswope 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your ex is ok with him calling him dad, let it run its course. You and your son are very fortunate to have a man that was willing to be a dad to him even though he's not their father.
My husband, who is a dad to my two oldest though he is not their father has a plaque I gave to him that reads:
Any man can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a daddy.
You'll be able to explain it to him later as he gets older, but your ex should be honored to be daddy and hopefully won't neglect being daddy still with his affections. That can be quite traumatic to a child that does not understand.
2007-01-25 07:04:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is his Daddy. Maybe not his bio father, but sometimes, fathers just don't fit the bill of Daddy. my parents divorced when i was only 5, but had been separated for a long time, so i don't remember my bio Father ever living with me, other than a few different individual day memories. My mother remarried, and my step father after a few years, became Dad. My bio father went on to remarry and make his own adopted family with my step mother and was never really 100% Dad after that. At my step father's funeral his family introduced me as my mother's daughter and it was very offending to me. I was his daughter too. He raised me, as tough as it was, and he was very strict. As an adult, i came to realize that i would not have turned out nearly as well if my biological father had raised me. I needed my step father in my life. So i would answer your question NO.
2007-01-25 08:16:30 · answer #5 · answered by casady96 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How does your ex feel about it? Does he stpend time with him when he comes to visit the baby? If your ex still has a relationship with him and you're OK with it, then there's no point in stopping it.
However, if your ex has no future plans on being a part of this childs life, you might try and ween him off of that, but in such a way that's not harmful to him. You know your child best and know his maturity level on what he can handle and what he can't.
2007-01-25 07:06:05 · answer #6 · answered by Heather S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does your ex have any objections to being called 'Daddy'? That's the only father he's known so it's logical that he would still call him 'Daddy'. Just because the relationship between you & your ex is terminated doesn't mean that theirs is too.
2007-01-25 07:27:57 · answer #7 · answered by chevy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this has alot to do with the way he feels towards your ex, don't ask him to stop, he's too young to understand. If your ex treats him as his own and the biological father is not in the picture, don't burst his bubble, he's the only daddy he knows.
A father is not always the one who concieved you, he's the one who raises you and cares for you.
2007-01-25 06:49:35 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If your ex is a good supportive figure for your son and doesn't mind your son calling him dad, sure it is fine just be cautious to your sons actions. I know your situation so just be careful and remember those kids come first. Good luck! Claire
2007-01-25 07:00:24 · answer #9 · answered by Claire 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why should your son stop calling the only man he has ever known to be his father daddy? Obviouly the boy's biological father hasn't earned that honored title.
"Anyman can father a child,
It takes someone really special
to be a Daddy"
2007-01-25 06:51:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋