I am the happiest I have ever been now that I have come out. I have only told my mom and of course the woman I am seeing. I am so afraid cause my mom took it hard. She said she never wants to talk to me again, I do not think being gay is that big of a deal. I want to tell everyone, I have never felt this way and I want the world to know but I feel kind of like "brokeback mountain" not to meantion my ex is making my life hell. He is upset and hurt, as I understand, but he is trying to take my kids just because I am gay. I also work with him and he has turned the whole store against me. I now live a cocoon which is not fair. How do I tell everyone I am proud and let go of the crap that everyone is giving me?
2007-01-25 06:39:23 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It must have really sucked to pretend to like having sex with men for 28 years while you really wanted to be with another woman - congrats on coming out after so long!
Just tell your family, co workers and your ex that you are a lesbian and your glad to finally get to be real about your lesbianism after 28 years of pretending to be straight!
If they don't like it that's their problem, not yours!
Good luck!
2007-01-25 06:46:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 4⤋
You are who you are and NOONE can take that from you. Everyone that is lashing out is hurt is all. They will realize it later. The only thing that matters now is the children and their safety if the X is going after custody and may freak out. Take them to counselling and make sure it is a reputitable counsellor so the courts will see that you are making sure your children will deal with things fine. People that love you will stand by your side.....give it time and if they don't then their relationship is not needed for you. Realize your partner must step in to protect you as well. (not fighting) just to be there to support you through the tough times too. I have helped an employee of mine tell her father that she is gay and all has worked out. I made sure to counsel the family and it has worked beautifully. Guard yourself, your children, your feelings, okay and remember...there is hope for your family and friends who are "ify" about your lifestyle change. I say good luck and be happy at what you wish to do....:)
2007-01-25 06:50:43 · answer #2 · answered by MOM OF ONE 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
What's going to happen in five years when your girfriend dumps you and the euphoria of doing something new wears off?
Look...contrary to popular belief, being gay is a choice. As with all choices, there are consequences. By choosing to be gay, you have an excuse to dump your husband, break your promises, destroy your family ties and to hell with what anyone else thinks about it.
You have stolen 28 years from a man that has been your loyal husband and deceived your daughter into thinking that yours is the proper role of a wife. Shame! Your sexual fantasies are not as important as the needs of your family!
2007-01-25 06:54:11 · answer #3 · answered by luperith 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't push it down everyone's throat or flaunt it right now. You've had your entire to life to figure this out. Give you family time to accept it.
Working with your soon to be ex would be difficult even in a GOOD situation..........is it possible to split assets and go elsewhere or for him to go?
Being gay does not make you a bad parent. He is lashing out because he is hurt and confused. He is also ashamed because he wasn't "man enough for you and you chose a woman over him". Even though it wasn't a choice or decision that you made, he still has to have time to grieve his loss, the loss of your love and relationship, and accept that you are now gay.
Best of luck to you and give it time. Slowly introduce it to your family.
2007-01-25 06:48:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
Posting this question in American Football instead of Married & Divorced.
2016-05-23 22:59:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many years ago my best friend came out - and he was worried about my response. He mixed me a drink and had it ready when I got to his house.......and looked at me and said there is "something I need to tell you, and I think you need to drink this before you hear it"
It caught me off guard, but the bottom line is that I loved him and he was my friend, whether he was checkin out the same guys as I was or not.
Be honest with yourself - and be honest with those you love - people who are meant to be in your life will stay with you, and those who don't aren't worth having anyway.
2007-01-25 06:49:47 · answer #6 · answered by Susie D 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Since this whole experience is rather new to you, I would only tell people who can be supportive of your decision. You don't need the added aggrevation of having anyone else putting you down because of your decision.
As time goes by you can expand the group of people who know about your decision as your base of people you trust grows as well.
I wish you luck!
2007-01-25 06:47:30 · answer #7 · answered by Thunderman9 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I think you have to take the high road here. He's being a putz. I can understand the hurt guy-pride, of course. What does being gay have to do with your parenting ability? You were gay the whole time you were raising them, yes?
I'd be tempted to send out printed announcements, if it wasn't for the custody dispute. Imagine the higgledy piggledy that would ensue.
2007-01-25 06:47:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋
meee meee meee!!!!
you are so selfish!!!! how should your ex react!! after all you do work with a man who found out his wife is gay...what do you think he's going through having to deal with those who know ...and your kids??? Mommy left daddy for a girl!!!! now I have 2 mommies...sick and of course your mamma must be dealing with the shame and the pain...nasty!!! all you think about is you...
the rest of your family must just suck it up and cater to your needs!!! you are pathetic!!!!
2007-01-25 06:55:43 · answer #9 · answered by Mary S 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Why TELL everyone who you are - just BE who you are. Don't say a word just enjoy the new you and they will too.
2007-01-25 08:10:41 · answer #10 · answered by Soul'R Powered 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋