I recently went out to the bar with a couple of friends of mine, I did tell my bf that I would be home by midnight. Well I wound up coming home at 2 am, we worked through everything and have moved on since then, but now he tells me if i ever go back out to the bar he'll break up with me and he also tells me that i need to drop one of my good friends because she should have had me home. Now that was my first time ever going to any bar, I don't hardly do it but sometimes I do wish that I could go out and have a little fun. What should I do? Break up with the boyfriend because he forbids me from going out or stick with him and abide by what he says?
2007-01-25 06:35:21 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Because of the fact that he's making you choose between him and your friend should signal that something is wrong in this relationship, although it may not seem like it. He is telling you that you need to be home by a certain time and then gets mad with you and your friend because she didn't have you in by a certain time. He's saying these things to you to establish some control over you. I understand that you're debating whether you wanna stick it out with him or not, but if you do, chances are very good that this little bit of control that he has over you now will grow into something more dangerous later on. Break up with him now while you have a chance. Friends are forever, while boyfriends can be replaced. Remember that.
2007-01-25 06:48:09 · answer #1 · answered by Licia 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your boyfriend cared about you, he wouldn't put ultimatums on you that he would break up if you do something again that you really enjoy doing. A better approach for him would have been to tell you that he feels disrespected by you when you keep him up late worrying about you because you are out having fun at bars instead of spending time with him. Instead, he tried the "my way or the highway" approach, which is never a good approach to take.
If you enjoy going out with your friends, then your boyfriend should be secure enough with himself and your relationship to not have a problem with it. If it interferes with your relationship with him to the point of where you are going out several nights a week and not spending enough time with him, then he has valid concerns. If not, then he is overreacting. My fiance goes out with his guy friends occasionally and I am totally okay with that. I know that people need their downtime and that we all need to be able to have freedom to have that without feeling pressure from someone else to do something else. I know my fiance loves me, and he has known these friends for years. It gives him a chance to unwind from his workday or workweek and he is happier when he is around me and less tense, because he has had that chance to unwind. Sometimes I need alone time and he respects that as well. Relationships should be a give and take. Above all, if your boyfriend is telling you to drop a friend for the simple reason that your friend brought you home late, then he is being unreasonable. Unless you and him are in love and plan to be married, you should evaluate your relationship with him.
Boyfriends will come and go, but friends are forever. Unless a friend is truly toxic or destructive to a person, nobody should be asked or demanded that they give up a friendship in order to be with a boyfriend or girlfriend. He sounds a tiny bit controlling to me. I'd be careful. You are your own person and have the right to live your life as you please, so long as you are not hurting him or anyone else in the process.
2007-01-25 06:52:17 · answer #2 · answered by Chimichanga to go please!! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not by any means let a man tell you who you can be friends with. Your friends were probably there before him and they will be there after him if you don't let him pick them for you.
Also think about your future so you really need another daddy? Do you really want to be with someone that can tell you what to do, when and where you can go. Because if he is starting it now it will only get worse later.
I think I would say I don't want to lose you but you can't tell me what to do. I am a grown woman and I can make my own decisions.
My line is there is one man in this world that has ever been able to tell me what to do......that's my daddy, you don't sound like him and you damn sure don't look like him. And if you don't like that then maybe you mistook me for another b**ch.
2007-01-25 06:48:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is short and sweet. Your true friends are your friends no matter what. They will always be by your side and help you thru life. Men come and go like the wind. My advise, if he really cares for you he would not ask you to give up your friends. A happy relationship revolves around having your own time too.
2007-01-25 06:42:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Honey listen men come and go but true friends (which sounds to me the one your bf is wanting you to break off friendship with is) are hard to come by. Tell him to go screw himself and that your not dropping your friend for him. Plus look at it this way, which has been there for you the longest???? I hope it is your best friend! Good Luck Sugar!!
Wild Texas Cowgirl
2007-01-25 06:43:14 · answer #5 · answered by Fighting Irish Lass 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want to stay with a guy who controls you that way? Your friends would never make you do that. Dump him NOW. Better yet, go back to the bar.
2007-01-25 07:54:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend should not be telling you what to do, where you can go, or who you can hang out with. It is a huge red flag that he is forcing you to choose between your friends and himself. He is trying to increase your dependence on him by isolatiing you from the ones you love. Leave him before he starts to go too far.
2007-01-25 06:52:31 · answer #7 · answered by Old Soul 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some people dont like there GF/BF to go out to clubs /bars with out them. But the friend thing should be up to you dont let him tell you who you cant be friends with. It's up to you about your bf but if you really love him you will work it out.
2007-01-25 06:42:52 · answer #8 · answered by " Dixieland Delight " 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one needs a boyfriend like that, you actually answered your own question when you said you wanted to go and have fun. Friends can be forever, boyfriends come and go.
2007-01-25 06:42:10 · answer #9 · answered by blue2blnde 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nope because their ur support system. Bf come and goes but friends are here forever as long as u allow them to be.
2007-01-25 06:41:08 · answer #10 · answered by G-BOY 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋