I've fibbed a lot to my girlfriend in the past, because a lot of things that I have done in the past I am not proud of, and sometimes it seems like I subconciously ask her for sympathy too, I feel horrible about this and really honestly want to change it, but I feel as if, if I write her a letter to let her know how I feel about it, she will think " I've heard this a million times before" Because, well she has.. but this time I feel far too guilty and really want to change and have her trust me again.. I know being 100% honest instead of 80% is a start but what else can I do to really show her how much I love her and don't want to be this way anymore? I love her so much, she always says I take good care of her, but I feel like I could take care of her even better than I do now, and I really want to be honest and also be there for her..
2007-01-25 05:31:05 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Three important keys to any good relationship are honesty, trust, and respect. Without complete honesty, how can there be trust? If you truly respect each other you will be honest. If you love someone, you will trust, honor, and respect ... and personally I believe that when you really do care about or love someone, these three things come naturally.
I am better at writing than verbalizing my deep feelings, so I feel nothing wrong with writing a letter. In fact, write it, then set it aside for a day or so, read over it and make any necessary changes, and give it to her. Be ready for further discussion after she reads it, be ready to show that you mean it through your actions and the way you treat her starting now. On her end, you are going to need to understand that you need to earn her trust back and this can be hard.
Like someone else mentioned, too, actions and body language can speak as loud & louder than words. When she talks, REALLY listen, show true interest. Have an activity you enjoy doing together, but keep separate interests too.
Good luck ... if it's meant to be, it will work out. Things from the past are what have made you the person you are today ... we all have things from our past that we are not proud of, if she truly cares about you, and it's something you no longer do, I would think that she would understand.
2007-01-25 11:03:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think your question is a good line. Tell her you want to be a better man. Just sit her down and pour everything out to her. Women can tell when a conversation has been calculated, plotted and planned. Don't choose your words too carefully. As cheesey as this sounds speak from the heart. Chances are she'll be able to tell you're honest and sincere and she'll appreciate that you are. Then make good on what you've said to her and don't let her down again. She'll be waiting for you to prove that you're not like the rest. And if the conversation starts to go down badly because you've misphrased something just say you're sorry and aren't expressing youself very well. That that's not what you meant.
Good luck! You sound like a good guy who's trying to be better.
2007-01-25 13:42:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be 100% honest. Just never hurtful.
Any other steps at this point are just ways to selfishly assuage your guilt (confessions, letters, promises).
Acting the way you want to be does nothing to stroke your guilt, but everything towards becoming a better person and treating your partner the way that one should be treated.
Save the promises and confessions for far enough in the future that you are already who you want to be (securely, for a long time), and are just reflecting on your past self.
Anything else is just about you again, and your comfort, not about getting down to the real work of being who you want to be in Practice - not in empty promises or sorry confessions.
.
2007-01-25 13:43:01 · answer #3 · answered by cyclgrrl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude actions speak louder than words ever could take time to show her the changes, right now it sounds like your trying to force the issue it isnt going to help slow down and start with the small things, if there is one thing I have learned women notice the smaller changes alot more than the bigger ones. So keep it small and the rest will all fall in line. P.S. DO NOT SCREW UP BY LYING AGAIN OR YOU WILL BE TOAST FOR SURE.
2007-01-25 13:39:51 · answer #4 · answered by Todd 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, do not write her a letter... never put your feelings on paper, to risky!! Tell her how you feel, be honest and up front with her, she will respect your courage. I think you are on the right track by asking so, just do it, you will feel SO much better in the end!! GOOD LUCK!
2007-01-25 13:39:03 · answer #5 · answered by Ang 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first thing,tell them the truth.most women hate when you lie to them.you can be a man at 16 and a kid at 40.its all on how you think.you might be surprise just how they will take it if you tell them the truth.just say it like this(if they ask you)i have some skeltons in my closet that iam not proud of,but iam trying to put them behind me,and if they are anything at all they will forgive you.none of us are perfect.i know i got skeltons in my closet and theres no nail holes in my hands.
2007-01-25 13:42:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a feeling you already know what you need to do but you are looking for a little push to get started. It sounds like your heart is in the right place so just do what your heart is leading you to do. Don't talk about it - just do it!
2007-01-25 13:40:05 · answer #7 · answered by Bethany 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start with getting rid of the ***** pink hair.
2007-01-25 13:36:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋
you sound like a big pus.sy to me
2007-01-25 13:39:24 · answer #9 · answered by Tryumph 1 · 0⤊ 4⤋