So for the last 3 year's I've been hooking up with a wonderful man, I find myself in aww when I am with him. We share common friends so nobody knows about us.
I'm very open about my feelings twords him and I know how he feels about me. We avoid the whole conversation though.
So over the last 3 years, i've learned to love him. No he's not the best looking, or the best guy for me. But there are strong feelings between the both of us.
I myself am the commitment type, and when I do commit to someone he gets put on the back burner... things typically wont work out for me and who ever i'm seeing because they just cant be who I really love.
He on the other hand is afraid to commit to me because all his previous relationships have failed in less then 3 months. He's told me in a drunken mess that yes, he does love me but he's scared that if we do become more it will ruin what we have.
So my question for everyone... should I continue and see where it goes or should I move on?
2007-01-25 05:24:10 · 8 answers · asked by Angela 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
So.. the reason why were secritive is probably because its hard to come to terms that yes were more then just "fu*k buddies" We actually enjoy each others company and never has it felt like a bootie call.
Your right when there might not be a commitment but he's commited 3 years to me and even though its behind closed doors I still feel right about the situation.
Then again admitting to his friends he's a "chubby chaser" might embarass him.
I've got a lot of love for him and no matter what I always will. We have an amazing connection and though were not together as often as wanted but when we are its not like we do our thing and leave. We spend a night together we kiss each other we cook dinner together we bicker like an old married couple its just in the publics eye were aquiantences... (sp?)
2007-01-25 06:14:08 · update #1
if i were you dear,i would continue going the same road.who knows he just might be the 1 for you.good looks dont always work.it all what kind of person he is.his personality,how he uses you and how both of you get along.dont throw in the towel just yet,give it some more time.
2007-01-25 05:35:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
after reading the answers i really can't elaborate, Violet said it best, take if from someone who after 2 1/2 years with the same guy, who i am perfectly fine with not marrying, broke it off with me.
.....it's not you, it's me.......f* you.
i was there for him, i cried when he cried, i cheered him up when he was sad, i cooked for him, i did EVERYTHING that was asked , expected, and wanted from me. what did I get a big fat, NOTHING.
Some guys will use you until they have no use for you, it is just the way they are.
the wonderful man that you speak of, is only wonderful in one place......your mind, where HE made you to believe he was wonderful.
the only way you are ever going to be truly happy is to find someone who loves, respects, and has the same feelings about how the two of you will end up in the relationship.
by the way, what did you mean by "no one knows about us" is this a little secret that the two of you keep, that you are hooking up.RED FLAG
think about everything that these people on Y Answers say to you, some of us have our scars to show that we have been there done that, and carried on.
2007-01-25 05:44:11 · answer #2 · answered by lil' angel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already know where it's going to go. Nowhere. He's a grown man who is "scared" of you.
It's interesting that a man who is so "scared" of commitment has been more than willing to take for 3 years: your time, your emotions, your body, your future... but when it comes to giving, he's "scared". Sounds like a loser to me. Redefine what you call "a wonderful man".
2007-01-25 05:33:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
3 years is very long, u r guys are going out, its ridiculous. Tell him if we could be together for 3 years and nothing happened, so i think we r on a good track.
2007-01-25 05:30:13 · answer #4 · answered by Loco 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have been "hooking" up with him for 3 years!!!!
I don't want to hurt you, but this dude is totally using you!
Especially since he doesn't want anyone to know, that is a big red flag!
You deserve better.
2007-01-25 05:32:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've been putting out for three years and he hasn't made a move for a commitment? Do you need someone to spell this out for you? He's----not----gonna. Find---someone----else.
2007-01-25 05:39:57 · answer #6 · answered by FatElvis 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm if u have time on your hands give the relation more time, if u dont have enough time, then u will have to move on
2007-01-25 05:30:29 · answer #7 · answered by Sam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
really date and see what happens
2007-01-25 05:31:22 · answer #8 · answered by EmmaNicole 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋