hi i lost my partner in nov 06 iv just started c'n a bereav.councilor wots the diff btween a phscologist & cou

Question

i lost my partner in nov 06 iv just statred c'n a bereavment councillor but she hasnt lost a partner so unless shes been in my situation how can she understand? my sister has just started c'n a phycologist,and we hav only both had 1 session each but she seems so much more positive than me.does any1 know what the difference is and what or who would i be better seeing ,my sis is paying private and its 40.00 for the hour were as im under the nhs and my next 30min app is 2 weeks away.any suggestions please???????? many thanks cristine,blackpool

Answer 1

Hi,

I'm sorry to hear about your loss, I can't begin to imagine how hard things are for you.

A psychologist is someone who is trained to to perform psychological research, testing, and therapy, and a counsellor is someone who listens and tries to help you work through your problems.

If you decide to find a private counsellor, it is best to look at the British Counselling and Psychotherapy associations website, as you will be able to find someone who is a registered professional.

It is important to feel that you are able to open up to your counsellor, and the fact that you feel that she can't understand isn't a good sign. If it is important to you that who you talk to has lost a partner, you would be best going private - I don't think you will get a referral to a second counsellor.

Maybe it would be best to go for your next appointment and see how you feel about it - sometimes it takes a little while before we see the benefit of the counselling. Counsellors are usually very empathetic people, and she is likely to have counselled other patients who have lost love ones. But, if you don't feel comfortable, then you should look elsewhere. It can take a while to build up a relationship and open up, so if this might be the case don't give up, keep trying.

£35-40 is the usual price for an hour with a private counsellor, and most will offer a free 30 minute introduction, so you can see if you are suited, and if they will be able to help you.

Sorry I couldn't be more help, if you are worried, you can always talk to your GP who can explain more about the different therapies available.

Best wishes
Tiger xxx

Answer 2

First of all Im sorry for your loss.
To actully answer your question, a berevement councilor is a kind of phycologist who gives specialed help for those who have (obviously) just lost someone close to them, while a phycologist is a more 'general helper'
As regards to how the councilor can help, remember that this person would have met many others like you, and through experience will try to help. As an odd example, think about a MALE midwife - while he will never truly grasp how painfull childbirth is, he still understands that it is painfull and will do his best to help.
Finaly, just cos your sister is paying £40 an hour does not meen that her phycolagist is better. A lot has to do with how the paitent reacts to it. also, while your sister may apear more positive, it may just be a front - some people do that to try help others, by being 'a rock'.

I hope this helps

Answer 3

I too am sorry for your loss. There is no model for time lines in the grieving process. My guess is that a fair go would be at least two more sessions with your counselor.
A bereavement specialist is especially trained to help with grief. If your counselor has lived long enough she or he has lost somone significant. He or she need not have lost a partner to be able to give you what you need.
In addition, you may want to look into bereavement support groups.
I would use every option available. I lost my mum the year before starting the last round at uni. I was lucky to have a Godmother, two older male friends, and a sis in law and brother to help me though it.
All the best in your path to the future!
--That Cheeky Lad

Answer 4

A bereavement counsellor is not necessarily a psychologist or a psychiatrist but a profession in its own right. A counsellor does not have to have lost a partner to assist you although I do understand why you feel like that. I have felt similar when talking to people who have not lost a parent. A counsellor is there to assist you.Their job is to provide you with an avenue to discuss your feelings and help identify and develop coping strategies for you to manage your grief. You also have to recognise that you and your sister are individuals, there isn't a right or wrong way for you to feel. You say she seems more positive but that doesn't mean she will be. Private or NHS treatment aside, grief is a complex emotion and one session will not be enough to work out how successful it will be for you. If you need more help than you feel counselling can provide then approach your GP for a referral to a psychologist. You are within your rights to do so and given the circumstances I would hope your GP would be sympathetic to referring you. You can find useful information at www.cruse.org.uk . I hope you find the strength to work through things and if it helps, you'll certainly be in my prayers x

Answer 5

basically a psychologist can assess you mentally and help you possibly with pills or just talking and a councillor will try to talk through your prob and get you to a place that you can be happy with yourself and situation. Its all about what you fell you need.
Caryy on with your councillor for a bit, see if you become more happy with it, as you might not have been comfortable enough to talk, if you're still unhappy then see someone else.
Hope this helps a bit.
So sorry for your loss, it must be so hard and draining. Try to stay positive, im sure your partner wouldn't want you to be so bad.

Answer 6

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. No words can fill that space. No one, even if he or she has experienced a similar loss, can truly understand what you are going through. A good bereavement counselor need not understand, but should be a soft place to land, a safe place for you to express what you are going through, to support you through this terribly difficult time of mixed emotions. She isn't there to "fix" anything or even explain anything. She is a trained ear, a compassionate soul who only says "I am here for you. I have no agenda of my own. I am present for you."

It is important to find someone who is able to give you what you need. You wouldn't go into a library and demand a corned beef sandwich. Because no matter how much you beg, or cry or threaten, it just isn't possible to get your sandwich there. The same is true of finding support through your grieving.

Wrap yourself in your good memories of your loved one.
Keep the picture of life at its best for the two of you in your heart.
Allow yourself to feel whatever you are feeling. (The stages Kubler-Ross described... anger, denial, acceptance... refer only to reactions to receiving a terminal diagnosis and have nothing to do with the grieving process.)
And be good to yourself.

Answer 7

much college is the difference and they also have internship. Psychologist is thus more expensive. A counselor needs a degree of some sort but usually not in anything pertaining to counseling. Hope this helps. You could try someone of the clergy. If you attend a church, they usually council for free.

Answer 8

I myself did a counselling course which qualifies me as a councillor. The difference is the qualifications thats all. Sorry to hear of your loss

Answer 9

Sorry for your loss, and if counselling helps, that is great.
But time is the best healer

You will survive this and find happiness again

Answer 10

Keep trying till you get one your comfortable with.......