Is there something wrong with me?

Question

When people come over as guests I am the best host, doing everything to make them comfortable. But those who are my family members help out while they are here by cleaning, doing dishes, tidying up. They try to help out with the things I can't get to while I tend to my 4-month old infant and rambunctious toddler.
Anyway, sometimes I ask people like my grandmother not to do certian things like clean up my son's room. I have all his toys categorized, like play doh stuff goes in the play doh bucket and hot wheels go in another bucket, so on and so forth. Well, of course when my son and I are trying to play with play doh I have to turnt he room upside down to find all the pieces that we need. I get really irritated and I even say things to people like "hey listen thanks for helping but I like to clean things up a certain way and when others do it I get real disorganized and have to redo the cleaning."
Now am I being too fussy, I could just keep my mouth shut.

I do most of the time stay quiet about it, but then I vent to myself later about things that I can't find or I find in the wrong place. It really pisses me off. Am I crazy for allowing it to bother me so much? Maybe it's because I just feel like there isn't anough time in the day for me to be sidetracked like that. It just really annoys me when I find my son's gloves (that I had been looking for 30 minutes and couldn't find and he had to go outside without them) in the folded laundry basket in my closet instead of the coat closet.
Does anyone else feel this way or am I overreacting.

Answer 1

Your grandma sounds like she has her heart in the right place, and I'm sure she means well. Me personally I think that you should be glad that you have such a loving, caring grandma. I wish I had both of my grandmothers now. Cherish what you have. life is to short for anyone to take little things like that for granted.

Answer 2

There is nothing wrong with you at all. I come from a big family and we have all learned through the years to communicate how we feel. When you don't do that, you can have hard feelings. There is nothing wrong with saying "look guys, I SO appreciate that you want to help me with tidying up, but if you don't mind, I prefer to do it myself because I have a system and a certain way I like it done. When others do it for me, while I appreciate the tidied up room, I often can't find things because I have specific places I like to put certain things". Hopefully that will help them to understand. You are telling your family you appreciate them, but are also letting them know what you need them to do. If they have a problem accepting that, then instead of feeling bad about it and stressing over it like we parents often tend to do, perhaps locking doors to certain rooms while guests are over, or meeting at someone else's house instead might be a solution. I really don't have any good advice for you on this one, but I think you shouldn't brow-beat yourself because you have every right to have things your own way in your own home without feeling guilty about wanting to exercise that right. Good luck!

Answer 3

People just want to help you out. If it annoys you perhaps you can say, "ok then, thanks for your help. The little one's toys all go in this box, thanks so much for your help."
Then, when they are gone you can sort through the box and put things back right. Your relative will feel like they have been helpful and you know where things are.

Alternatively, think of a completely different task which would be really great that they could help you out with (so you say), they will be occupied and feel valuable. Why not just ask them to help you with what you are doing with your child?

Yeah, you could say you are fussy but not really, it is just how you deal with your life and how you want things. You shouldn't feel bad but just understand that others don't realise that you are happier if they don't try and help because they want to be involved and helpful, it makes them feel valuable, especially older relatives.

Answer 4

There's nothing wrong with being organized, which is exactly what you are. If you "catch" a guest trying to tidy, SMILE, thank them for wanting to help, and explain that you would rather spend your time visiting with them than having them clean up. Then put a cup of coffee in their busy hands and find them a comfy chair. If they persist, tell them you have a very specific system for organizing and if they want to help, maybe they can tend to the children while you tidy up.

Answer 5

Hey, SQUEAKY WHEEL GETS THE OIL!
No, don't shut up! The simplest solution I can think of is LABELS!
Also, begin to enlighten sweet toddler about helping show grandma where things go so he can find them later (this is a process requiring repetition and time). When you're helping him put his toys away, say, "tell grandma all your hot wheels have to live/take naps together in this bucket" and so on. My mom used to clean my room when, as a teen, it got too out of hand for her to tolerate. It made me crazy to search for my stuff.

Answer 6

You are not being too fussy. It's your house, and you keep things where you keep them, just like anyone does. It is certainly not out of line for you to ask people to respect that. Would they like it if someone came into their house and put all of their stuff in different places? I think not. Perhaps if you had a set of things they *could* do when they're over, it would work out better. They can feel like they're helping, and you'll know that they really are!

Answer 7

I am the same way, i think most people like to be organized and put things on it place where they can find it later on. I hate when people touch my stuff and then don't put it on its place. Esapcially when my room is clean, and the cleaning lady comes, and she start puting my things where she thinks it would be nice, and she doesn't understand that her job is just to mop the floor and clean other things, and if u do need to touch anything u can put it how it was. And we go over everytime. I put it back how i like it and she puts back where she wants, it seems like it will never stop. So trust me its normal.

Answer 8

You like to have things in your home a certain way and there is nothing wrong with that. If necessary stop the person from doing the clean up so they know that you are not kidding.

Answer 9

there is nothing wrong with you. as long as your not snapping at your relatives,it should be good. because more than constructive cleaning ,they are just making you work double. but sometimes a smile could go a long way. so in spite of you being all harrowed, you can just paste a genuine smile and convey your message to them.you must. there is no way out. give them some other task instead.use your charm. i know its hidden inside. ;) take care.

Answer 10

there is nuthing wrong with doing things ur way but in the same sense ur family is just trying to help and they mean well. i also understand where ur coming from and doing things a certain way after having kids is a mother thing not just a fussy person thing. so no, nuthing is wrong with u ur normal compared 2 most.