I was engaged to a man that had a felony, at 17 he was in a drinking and driving accident and the passenger was killed. He did 4 years in jail. Then at 23 he went back for a 1 1/2 because he picked his ex up from the bar and his other ex was there and went to the cops and said he hit her. So my parents think that because of these things I should not be involved with him because it makes me look like I have poor judgement and not being a good mother. This was in his past, and he has changed, are my parents right? I'm I wrong? How am I supposed to ditch on the man I love because of his past, yet is that what I have to do to do right by my daughter. I need advice, help!!
2007-01-25 04:14:45 · 7 answers · asked by babygirl32 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Why would you want to subject your daughter to someone like this. just because he is her father does not mean he is safe for her to be around. he should be seeing a therapist and be on meds to help with his bipolar disorder. If he is doing that and has everything under control, approve supervised visits until the courts can deem him safe for your daughter to be with alone. As long as he is not getting into trouble and acting like a law abiding citizen then there should be no problems, if not, don't leave her alone with him
2007-01-25 04:25:01 · answer #1 · answered by jaws1013 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Listen Lady. A bi-polar patient is much more senstive n sympathic. But he can get more maniac n volient.But a bi-polar can definetely love his dear loved ones n he has defientely fundamental right coz he is too a human. N his mental illness is not due to his fault.He did what in the past might not be his fault. But his fault is only that he is not trying to cope with his disease.I mean He may not want to get cured.Never say that u r a bad mother coz I can guess from ur words here that u love ur daughter. U r right that u shouldn't ditch it coz after ditching ur ex-husband even u will also feel guilty.(after he feel that u ditch her he will get severe depression). Just try to take him to a counsllor along with u. It may give a good results. I know very much what is bi-polar coz I m too bi-polar disorder.God Bless u Lady.
2007-01-25 12:46:54 · answer #2 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your ex has a background of doing things he should not do. use this to your advantage in fighting the court battle because with things like this on his record there should be no possible way that he could get custody of your child. he will not change trust me i have seen many people like this. i used to have a bi-polar person in my family. they stabbed my brother 18 times almost killing him. he spent almost two months in intensive care each day going by not knowing if he was going to die. odd enough the person that stabbed him was his girlfriend. i am not telling you this to scare you but i am telling you this to inform you that people with bi-polar are very capable of this and they don't care who they hurt. not in a million years would i put my child in such a situation. he will be like this for the rest of his life. your parents are absolutely right. get rid of him that is what you need to do to be right by your daughter. if it is the difference of your daughter being safe or not then the answer is easy get rid of him and move on. if you don't the next person that he harms may be your daughter. be there for your daughter and don't waste your time with somebody like that. every child needs to have a father but when the father acts like that then it is better for them not to have a father then to have one like that. by getting away you may be saving your childs life and you own. seriously check in and see exactly what you can do about this and take all legal measures possible. don't wait. act now. hope this helps. good luck.
2007-01-25 12:57:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can tell you from experience people that are bipolar will never get better. I am bipolar. It don't get any better. Do you think YOU can change him? Get him to do better?
AND if you are getting into a relationship with a man that you KNOW in advance has been in trouble for domestic violence, you do have poor judgment. Your parents know what they are talking about. Do your best to keep your daughter away from his custody and keep yourself away from him. Take child support for taking care of your daughter and deal with it. Bipolar people are very unpredictable, especially if they are not on medication. Meds help...alot.
2007-01-25 12:27:40 · answer #4 · answered by Karen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter needs to be in a safe, stable, and loving environment. And it doesn’t seem like you love interest has a very stable life with being in and out of jail. Also if he is bipolar it could cause more problems. In the interest of your daughters wellbeing I would bring the jail time and bipolar disorder to light to keep custody to limited visitation.
2007-01-25 12:24:58 · answer #5 · answered by prettyblueeyes101010 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can tell you from personal experience that no judge in their right mind will give him custody of your daughter.......I have 4 children and my ex husband is bi-polar and he is not allowed to have the kids over night and his visits are supervised........mine has no criminal record. If the kids have appointments in town then I will set up a time to meet with him in a public restaurant and he can visit them there.........but I can't see the judge giving him custody of her.......Good luck and keep me posted.
2007-01-29 11:24:47 · answer #6 · answered by Brenda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Both you and your daughter need stability. is he able to provide this doing stints in jail. the first incident can be put aside by it being accidental. but the history of this man is far off being normal. do you want this stigma to follow your daughter at scool, in the community, etc.
2007-01-25 12:32:57 · answer #7 · answered by stacy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋