I love you just the way you are, but?

Question

I have a girl friend . I like her a lot.

but we have different tastes. For example she likes pop. but usually I cant stand it. I like Jazz. last night we were watching MTV, but in other channel there was a jazz concert.

I tried watching it but she told me its so boring, but usually mtv is boring to me. Jazz is inspiring to me . when she insists on watching mtv I felt she kills something about me.

I like her , but sometimes , to speak frankly , I think I would rather be alone.

May be I am not mature enough to make a good relationship. so once again I ask what does it mean when we say

" I love you just the way you are "

Answer 1

Sounds to this old guy like you have a very healthy relationship, as wouldn't it be a bore if you liked all things that were the same. That is how people learn about other aspects of live when their partners have different interests. As well it allows us to have our own individuality. Why anyone would add the word "but" after the phase "I love you just the way you are" I find very confusing and upsetting. But, if and however put a roadblock in the way of relationships and ones love for another should be unconditional.

Answer 2

I think that when you add "but" in comes the contradiction. You know some people in relationships can handle differences in tastes, such as she likes MTV and you like Jazz. Usually it is when your beliefs in terms of morality, religion and politics are so different as to cause arguments that relationships struggle. Small differences like music appreciation shouldn't hurt the relationship typically, and if it were me I would just do something else and let her watch her MTV or agree to watch hers one night and yours another night and also agree that maybe you will not hang out with her in the same room when MTV is on. But we are talking about you and you have the right to be who you are...and maybe this is not tolerable to you.

Also another point is when you "love" someone you tend to be a bit more flexible than when you simply "like" them IMO. You wrote that sometimes you would rather be alone and there is nothing wrong with that...look only you know what truly makes you happy, content and at peace. I don't think you are immature. I mean if something is "missing" with this girlfriend, perhaps it is your inner wisdom telling you, in the form of uncomfortability that you need to explore other options. You know life is gone in a blink, so you may want to reconsider where this rel. is going and if you are getting your core needs met in it. If it is time to move on than you simply must do that...good luck!

Answer 3

Loving someone just the way they are means you're not going to try to change them or aren't waiting for them to be smarter or thinner or better looking, etc. You love someone despite of your differences or are willing to accept the fact you don't have a lot in common because you love them and care about their happiness more than your own. This is also called altruistic love.

Not having a lot in common with someone is a whole different story when you don't really like/love them. If you're not able or willing to enjoy her interests because you really like her and want to learn more about things she enjoys, that's not going to change.

If you already know you'd rather be alone, then you are wasting your time and should break up with her now. I don't think it's that you're not mature enough to make a good relationship, it's just that she's not the right person for you. You will be surprised at how much MTV you will be fine with watching when you really love the person who wants to watch it! Also, that person will probably want to watch jazz with you because she wants YOU to be happy. It's a nice situation to be in for a change!

Answer 4

U have to expect to like the 1 u have even though they r different ,.In a situation like that pick & choose your battle.... Would it have been too hard.......... 4 you to try to show some interest in jazz even though u don't think u like it? someone introduced me once to country music which I thought I hated.Turns out now I love it.. i took & interest & now it makes me happy.Being alone is not where anyone should b most of the time. Alone time is good but too much will kill a very compassionate part of thyself. Love the differance don't humiliate it!!!! I think thats why u should love u just the way u r. This is not easy 2 do.It falls in line w / appreciation. Appreciate each other...

Answer 5

When you love someone you accept their good with their bad. If it is something that really bothers you then you need to really stop and think is this the way I want to spend the rest of my life. Have you tried sitting down and talking to her and telling her how you feel? Maybe a good talk and some listening on both ends could clear a lot of stuff up. I think that is good to have differences in a relationship but only if each person can accept them. It's ok to like and do different things but each person needs to keep an open mind. Also it is ok if you don't like everything or she doesn't like everything...thats life.

Answer 6

You don't love her just the way she is - you'd prefer it if she had the same likes and dislikes as you do. Therefore, in the long run this just won't work out. My ex only listened to jazz - and I'm a country fan - there were other reasons for the divorce but that was a major problem. You should find someone that likes the same things you do - it make life so much easier.

Answer 7

it means that you love this person but everyone has things that others dont like. I'm sorry to say this but i think u're setting ur expectations too high. The chances you will find all the qualities you think are important in one girl is very unlikely. And something as trivial as whether she likes jazz (I dont mean any of this rudely) but try to look over it. Make a mental note of all the things that you like about her...if u cant think of any then ur obviously with the wrong person but maybe this will help u realise all the qualities she really has.

Good luck!

Answer 8

In my opinion you already answered your question!!!anyway
"I love you just the way you are" if you love someone dont think that they will love you too!!!if so its good but the most important or the point being there is?how you loved her....i like her...but sometimes.....this is not the reason if you love someone you must respect her and be patient otherwise your relationship turn to mess..maybe your right that you are not mature enough to make a good relationship or try to discuss to her what you dont liked each other its not a big deal and not to think you've rather to be alone this is ridiculous but dont try just do it becoz if you are sincere nothing is IMPOSSIBLE.

Answer 9

I don't think loving someone just the way they are means we enjoy everything about them, or that we didn't wish certain things were different. I think it means that we love them and because of our caring we accept them as they are, faults, weaknesses, irritating habits and all. Now, as for our part, we have to acknowledge that due to differences (between every single body), we will encounter less than attracting qualities in others. Then, we have options as to how we'll react and interact with them. In the scenario you described, keep loving your friend, but be alone when her company begins to be a weight on your Balloon of Bliss. I have dear, beloved friends with whom I can only spend limited time with, lest we go for each other's throats (well, it's not that extreme, but you get the picture--we can irritate and provoke each other into a froth).
Your maturity is what makes you question and examine yourself, don't be doubting your intelligence to doubt, it's part of the learning process.
Pick up your peace and, in love, go!

Answer 10

"I love you just the way you are" means many things. Could mean, I am willing to put up with whatever you do. At least in your case that is what it sort of sounds like. Controlling people are not always to the best person to be romantically involved with. If she makes the choice on what you can watch, what choices do you think she will make for you as the relationship moves on.

Another "I love you just the way you are", can be translated into, look I love you because your the right one for me and no matter if you get old, fat and so on, I will still love you.