want to know how can i tell her no without being rude...last night she came at 9 pm and i told her i was getting ready for bed..it seems she got mad but i know she'll get over it...we share a house so i cant hide.i feel at times trapped in my own room but i know i must say something to her..and asap
2007-01-25 03:52:15 · 9 answers · asked by paloma 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
sometimes its hard to say no.Her not accepting no is being impetuous,she shows no self discipline.try to be strong in all things.
never let anyone 'stand over' you,its not good for your self confidence.just say no, its easy like you say she will get over it.
2007-01-25 04:02:17 · answer #1 · answered by s2or3 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to put a stop to it NOW!!! If you get a huge bill, YOU will be responsible because you gave her permission to use the phone. It sounds like your roommate is not very respectful and is totally taking advantage of you. Stand up for yourself! Tell her your minutes are very limited and you can't afford to rack up a high cell phone bill.
MAKE SURE YOU PUT A SECURITY CODE ON YOUR PHONE!!! Otherwise you may find a big surprise at the end of the month. It doesn't take much for a cell phone bill to go from $60 to $1000. Also, change your code every couple of months just to be on the safe side.
2007-01-25 12:05:21 · answer #2 · answered by MagPookie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, sit down and figure out what level of her using your phone is acceptable to you and what limitations need to be set. For example, you've already noticed that you are not comfortable with her using it at 9 PM (!). The next time she asks, calmly explain to her that you are not comfortable with her using your phone under x conditions but won't mind her using it under y conditions. If she gets angry, calmly stand your ground without reacting to her anger (she'll want you to think you're the one whose wrong for setting the limits, but you have every right... it's your phone). This is called setting boundaries. By the way, once the boundary is set, stick to it. If you later see she's the kind of person you can trust, then you can be more flexible on every odd occasion.
2007-01-25 12:05:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you do!!!! She feels why should she get a phone and pay a monthly charge when she can use yours. If she is going to use the phone tell her she can help pay half of the bill, and make sure you have all neccesary blocks on the phone, like myself when i have visitors at my house make them get a calling card from the 99 cent only store and block my house phone to call local only, therefore i have no problems because i want to be paid even it's a 411 charge.
2007-01-25 12:31:05 · answer #4 · answered by ladybug 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Accept that people are going to get mad when you set parameters, but continue to set them as politely, but as firmly as you can and they will get the message.
Only allow her to use or not use the phone as you are comfortable with and even suggest that there numerous cell phone plans, depending on where and when she calls people that would likely be affordable if she checked them out and would even allow the people she calls to call her whenever they need to get a hold of her and she wouldn't have to worry about missing their call.
It is not being rude; it is being pro-active and not being a victim if you approach it without too much emotion and state facts, wants and needs.
2007-01-25 12:01:59 · answer #5 · answered by bottleblondemama 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her in a nice tone, you don't mind helping her, but not to come over between (and pick the times) such as before 4:00pm and after 8:00 pm. Or if it's a cell phone, just tell her your min are low and you can't afford to go over.
2007-01-25 11:57:45 · answer #6 · answered by purpledragonflyjrh 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Has to stop. You cell phone bill might present some surprises too. Next time, just ask why she doesn't have one of her own since she uses yours so often. If that hint doesn't take, you'll have to be more direct or pretend you lost it for a few days.
2007-01-25 11:59:15 · answer #7 · answered by jack w 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't be scared to let her know that she is stupid for not having a phone to use... I think the year is 2007 and everyone has atleast a phone to use...If you don't wanna be bothered anymore than I would tell her to get 50 cents to pay for a pay phone
2007-01-25 12:01:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Show her this question.
Let her know firmly that she needs to get a phone and that it's inconvenient for her to pop in whenever. You have no problems in an emergency of course, but the habit needs to be broken. If she doesn't like it, start knocking on her door and asking to use her toilet everyday.
2007-01-25 11:57:10 · answer #9 · answered by Tellin' U Da Truth! 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋