i just met this guy about 3 weeks ago and i have developed strong feelings for him. he has been seperated from his wife for 6 months who has now just started wanting him back. there was a confirtation and she said that he told her he wanted her back,after she said this he made her leave . this happened this morning at his house. he takes me home and goes back to c about her she had wrecked her car. We both have just started opening up to each other a little (feelings wise) now i dont no what to think. If what he has said to me was lies or not? I have been hurt so many times in the past i dont want to go through that again but if i walk from him will that be a mistake? any advice
2007-01-25 03:46:15 · 34 answers · asked by M.V 2007 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well, a separation isn't a divorce until papers are signed. He may just be playing both of you. While he's in troubles with his spouce, it can make him feel more wanted and important as your feelings grow for him.
Don't overstep boundaries. He may just want the best of both worlds. Be careful here.
2007-01-25 03:52:00 · answer #1 · answered by Cameron L 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is always a possibility that you are being lied to. If you doubt him now then do you honestly think you can be in a relationship with him? You have to either learn to trust him and hope that it all works out fine or you have to move on. Trust is a main component of any working relationship. If you have doubts then you need to talk to him about it. And if the ex said all of this then how do you know she isn't lying just to spite him or you? She might just be saying this to keep anyone else from going after him. You should never feel as though you can't talk to someone you want to be with.
2007-01-25 04:00:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If in your mind you feel something is not right then you have every right to confront him and ask him his plans. Sure he could lie and tell you what you want to hear, but it sounds like your smart enough to see through it. If he can honestly look you in the eyes and tell you something, then it is either close to the truth or he is an excellent liar.
On another note, you did not mention if they were getting a divorce or just seperated. Your best move is to really wait until they are not seperated but actually divorced. It is too easy to go back to some one you are seperated with.
2007-01-25 03:59:36 · answer #3 · answered by UT FAN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, 3 weeks is too short of a time to have developed strong feelings for someone. Your having been hurt so many times tells me that you develop strong feelings for someone in a very short period of time. You have got to stop doing that. You have got to get to know a person first and get to know your feelings toward that person. This takes time; months, not just a few weeks. As for walking from him..... no, I don't feel it would be a mistake. Chances are he will go back to his wife. So my advice to you is: let him go and move on. Yes, I know it hurts but if you don't do it now it will hurt more later. Good luck.
2007-01-25 05:16:51 · answer #4 · answered by ctsnowmiss 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i had the same sort of problem this time last year. the only problem is that my ex had asked me 2 marry him and i was gullable 2 accept. then in august after 7 months of being engaged i saw him in the bank with his wife and 2 children!!! i finished with him there and then. he assured me, way before i found out his sleazy secret, that all he wanted was me. at the time i was living with my parents as i was only 16, and he'd always come round to mine, which when i questioned him he made excuses that his parents or family were there. which meant 'sorry but my wife (who u don't know about' is at mine. i grew suspicious. so i kept my ears open and my mouth shut. the truth comes out in the end. my advice is that u make sure u tread carefully and when u make ur decision after reading this is that there are more blokes out there that don't have baggage. my opinion is that u should get rid and find a decent bloke who will treat u right.!!!!
2007-01-25 04:07:32 · answer #5 · answered by HMB-100% Princess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
RUN don't walk!! If he's going back to "check" on her... Why? If they are separated someone else should be checking on her... Sister, brother, parent, friend.... Do they have children together??
The only reason she is now suddenly wanting him back is because he is seeing you. This will be a NEVER ending battle trust me and if kids are involved... It is only worse and I mean WAY worse!!
My Ex-husbands Ex used ME as an excuse to keep his son away (she didn't even know me) and she ended up moving 1400 miles away to keep him from his son. All because she was jealous. She didn't want him but she didn't want anyone else to have him. He was her "fall back guy" meaning if her new relationship didn't work... He would be there for her...
Separated for 6 months and no divorce papers in progress? Someone is not really serious here. Besides 6 months is not long enough WAY TO MUCH BAGGAGE!!!!
Think about this... Is this a woman who you want in your life forever? 'Cause she will be especially if kids are involved!
Notice I said "My Ex-husband"? Well, she is why we are no longer together... I couldn't stand living with her demands and ultimatums besides she was just plain freaking CRAZY!!!
Best of luck to you girl!!
2007-01-25 04:01:26 · answer #6 · answered by liltxrosebud 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like this couple have a lot to sort out between themselves, without any further complications. Tell him you are still interested in him but for the moment, he should sort himself out. He will probably appreciate the space. If he is still interested, he will come back to you after dealing with his wife, that's if you want to wait that long. If he decides to leave her, it will leave a clear path for the two of you to build a new life together, which will be 100% better. Good Luck!
2007-01-25 04:02:40 · answer #7 · answered by gypsy girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No mistake here. You are caught in the middle of a tug-a-war. This man is still married, separated or not. Move on, there are plenty of fish in the sea. I cannot stress enough the pain you will have to endure if you continue with this.
If he has lied to you, big deal, this is no reflection on you. There is no man worth fighting for that places you in a position TO fight for him. His wife on the other hand, you don't know her or him for that matter, nor do you know what they are capable of. If the wife has already confronted you, take the warning, this couple shared a marrried life together and their history together will supercede any desire he has for you. Tell him to look you up when he divorced and has had time to get over it. MOVE ON. QUICK!
2007-01-25 03:56:44 · answer #8 · answered by LisaLou 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ugh i hate to say it but i think they're right, u should keep your distance. evenif he doesnt love his wife, there's still a bond there & they've only been apart 6 mths which is not that long in the scheme of things. i know, its a b@stard, u find a great guy but its bad timing. couple of nights on the town & a few gallons of icecream may help. if its for you, it wont pass you, yous may be able to sort things out when he's got his sh1t sorted. sorry
2007-01-25 04:43:14 · answer #9 · answered by Queen of the Stone Age 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's only been 3 weeks and his wife is going to be chosen way before you sorry to say and besides in 3 weeks just how much will it hurt you to move on he is going to be going home and the sooner you know that the better off you will be let him go home and if it don't work out again then he might come back you just got to ride the storm out
2007-01-25 03:52:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋