Do most relationships have dirastic highs and lows?

Question

At times I love my boyfriend so much, I love living with him, cooking for him etc, and other times he makes me so angry, I feel like it is a cloud over the rest of my life. Is this normal? We have been together for almost 2 years and I am 20, maybe I just need to mature a bit (he is 29), this is what he thinks. I can't imagine ending it because of the good times, I tell myself I would be crazy, he can make me so happy, and I imagine marrying him and being together always. But the bad times make me wonder, and they happen regularily- at least 3 times a week.

Answer 1

you are definelty not alone on this..at times I want to marry him and i want to have his kids..but s h i t then he pisses me of so bad..i want to scream..arghhhhhhhhhhhhh..but i know i love him..but he does this wonder if we are going to be together for a long time..i want us to last..i really do..but damn i cant help to think that it may not...girl we all go through this..if he is good to you then stick it out.....i just posted ..should i leave him..because i feel like i do so much for him and get nothing in return....he gets breakfast, dinner, etc...so s h i t do something nice for me..thats all i am asking...

Answer 2

I'm 21, I had a three year relationship filled with highs and lows. When it was good it was great but when it was bad it was real bad. This isnt normal. Its called an unhealthy relationship. No one is expected to be happy 24/7 and of course you will have disagreements but it shouldnt be a regular thing. Maybe you do need to mature but more than that maybe you need to find someone that you are truly compatible with; for his happiness and your own. If you really love him, how could you stand to be with someone that you make that unhappy or that angry?

I ended my 3 year relationship and it was hard but it was also the best thing I ever did. The relationship I had after that was even beetter, much healthier and I was way happier.

Answer 3

A strong relationship wont ever make you wonder if its what you want. A strong relationship dosent have drastic highs and lows. Yes,there are ups and downs but they should be able to be handled fairly calmy without the door slammin',driving off kind of drama.
Do you need maturing? Possibly. But there is a natural maturity differance between a 20 and 29y. Im 26 and far more mature than I was even at 23. At the least,take it as a heads up that its not time to marry him,dosent mean you have to break it off but dont look too far ahead.

Answer 4

Sure, most relationships have highs and lows, but they aren't always "drastic" ones. It sounds like you are a very emotional person, someone who thrives on the energy of strong positive and negative feelings.

You may want to ask yourself if this is making your emotional highs and lows more extreme than they need to be? Do you think these feelings would be deifferent if you were with someone else?

Or, maybe it's just this relationship that creates these feelings. If that's the case, only you can decide whether it is worth experiencing such terrible lows in order to also experience wonderful highs. That is a perfect situation for some people. (It would be too much for me!)

Answer 5

Oh I know that feeling very well.

My boyfriend can be so lovely, warm, considerate and giving. At other times he just flips to I am selfish mode. I do get angry at him at least twice a month becuz he does stuff to irrate and frustrate me. I think he looking for a reaction sometimes. I dont think I will ever leave him now, it was different when we just seeing each other but now our relationship has become serious and he being my first too, its not as thou as i can just give him up so easily.

I would say throu that when I am angry my bf stays away and then he talks to me a couple of days later, when I've claimed down. Which is a good idea in a way. We will discuss things properly and like 2 adults.

You 2 sound like you need a good talk if it affecting your relationship that often, maybe you need to make a list of each others good and bad points, and probably what starts it off maybe you just need more space or you need to start visiting friend and spending abit of time away from him, rather in each others shoes.

Answer 6

Most relationships have their high and lows. As long as the conflicts do not involve being verbally or physically abusive, then the sensible thing to do is to try to save and work at resolving conflict in a more skillful way. If the two partners are willing to work at this then their is hope for a better brighter future together especially if the good times outweigh the bad times.Good luck to you both.

Answer 7

All relationships have highs and lows. It's because no matter how much you have in common, no two people will agree on everything. Why would you want to. It would be boring.

As long as the highs more than out weigh the lows than you have a good relationship.

Answer 8

Look at what pattern is causing you to be angry with him so much. There lies the answer. My daughter and her fiancce broke up over her resentment over doing dishes. She did not realize that was the underlying issue. Seems trival but how many times can you tell someone something and they don't care. Too bad their dishwasher got fixed a week after he moved out.

Answer 9

Yes they do if they didn't life wouldn't be the same...its just a part of life to have these things in a relationship...just hold on tight and let nothing come between yall!

Answer 10

He has you right where he wants you doesn't he? He has a live in maid to cook and clean for him and give nothing back emotionally. Why should you put up with such drastic lows for such scant "highs". You deserve better than this.