should i dump my boyfriend because he wants to control me?

Question

me and my boyfriend has been dating for only three months now and he dont like my best friend. he thinks that she is a bad influence on me. but she has been my best friend for over ten years he want her out of my life and i am not willing to do that for a man.he also hates when i go out. he would call me every five minutues.how can i tell him that in a nice way without hurting his feelings?and should i call this relationship off?

Answer 1

Some women buy into this type of sh**, but it sounds to me like you won't stand for it.

If you have told him that you love your friend and are not willing to dump her for him, then he better recognize. If you like to go out without him now and then (you're not married!), then he needs to trust you and call you only once or twice that night.

You need to sit him down, and in a nice way explain these things to him. Tell him that although he is important to you, so are your close friends and your freedom.

If he won't listen or tells you to forget it, I say yes. Call it off! Unless you think that he is willing to make a major change, it sounds like this isn't the guy for you.

Answer 2

Txt him and dump him, or else over fb or something. Inform him that he's controlling and also you hate it and you do not need him any further, for good. If he tries to convince you or else, tell him to close up, you know he will not trade and you're emotions aren't going to alter either, you now not want some thing to do with him. If he tries to push you around tell him to **** off. If you're that irritated, block him. This may work first-class if you do it at the start of a long go back and forth away that he does not know about. This may occasionally give him probably the most time to recover from it before you are exposed to him again. Then you'll be able to have got to maintain far from him, so he won't hassle you. 'Akari' and 'I said go' have just right ideas as well. Good success. -AcharyA.

Answer 3

hello, i m not going to be like everyone else who will tell u leave him. now i have to ask u if u do like him alot and are willing to work with him, then conitunue reading this. people who are controling, the reason behind that is that they have an issue of losing something, so the only way to keep that thing or person, they need to hold on to it without any interference. it seems like either ur bf was cheated on in the past or his friend must have experience something like that. which brought pain to them. that something he cant get rid unless he seeks help. what i m telling is to sit down with him and explore his past find out more about him how he grew up, what did he like to do when he was a kid and did anyone hurt him in the past ask him about past relationships. he may reveal some inner secret which will help u with ur problem of his control.
but u also need to help get rid of that fear

also dont stop loving ur self and dont ever let someone control u and make u choose
love ur self first before u can love anyone "by shakespeare" mongo merry

Answer 4

Yep, that's controlling if ever I saw it.

I don't know about "dumping" him, sometimes guys can be taught and if he has a special place in your heart, then you might want to try talking to him on a one to one basis and explain to him that your friend has been your GOOD friend for the ten years and there's nothing short of death that will change it.

If you go the extra ten yards and he still won't see the light, then maybe you're right to let him go but give it a chance before you "dump" him.

Answer 5

Just three months? this guy sounds like he's married to you.if already he is taking control and trying to change who you are friends with then i definately say ship him out...so soon in the relationship and he's telling you "hey she's a bad influence on you" well i would say since when did you start making decisions for me?Just let him know how you feel and if that dont work then i would get rid of him.

Answer 6

You should most definitely call this relationship off. If you don't, chances are great he will not only continue with the controlling but will add physical violence to it. (If he hasn't already.) It isn't that he thinks your friend is a bad influence, it's that he is afraid she will convince you to leave him. As for him not liking when you go out and calling you constantly.... he's afraid others will convince you to leave him. Also, he is afraid you will meet someone else, someone better. Leave him now before it gets worse and too late.

Answer 7

I would never date a woman who made me choose between her and my friends.

Your best friend has been around for 10 years, but your boyfriend has only been around for 3 months. Plus, anyone who needs to control others has some emotional issues they need to fix. Break up with him ASAP.

Answer 8

if you can not choose between your boyfriend and your bestfriend it is simple do you love your boyfriend??? do you trust him? does he do all that he can to make you happy ??? is he there when you need him the most ??? if you repond yes for all this question then asked yourself your bestfriends will her be there for you everytime what will happen when one day she will just stay your friend but will do her life with a man do you think she will share his boyfriend with you ??? no!!! girl how many boyfriend will you lose untill one will pleased your best friend and they will just f**k behind your back kept that in mind it is better for you that your boyfriend don't like your bestfriend that he like her too much!!:) then decide for yourself what the better way to choose you live only once don't loose your time thinking what you are losing but what you are letting passing by:) then i wish you all the love in this world:)

Answer 9

If your boyfreind truly cared for you, he would not even put you in a position to make such a decision. he appears to be insecure and very much wants to ease his own insecurties by keeping tabs on you. This is not healthy for either one of you. I would say, seeing the red flags early on this relationship, unless you want to lose your life and be molded into what he wants you to do, be, and live, I would suggest you either tell him you are entitled to your own life outside of him or move on.

Answer 10

Let me start by asking if you give him reason to doubt you. Maybe if you asked him to go out with you once in a while it might put his fears to rest. Secondly, does your girlfriend respect your relationship with your man or is she resentful? If you have shown him that he is the only man in your life and that you respect him and he does not loosen his grip, then let him go.