How do I stop my son's obsession with his willy?

Question

He is always playing with it to "make it go big" and yesterday I went to collect him from Nursery and found him showing it to a little girl! I was disgusted, I told him it was very naughty and very rude. He said she asked to see it. But he must have told her he had one or why would she ask?

I was more worried that if he shows it to the little girl who else will he show it to. Don't get me wrong I thought it was quite funny but I don't want him to expose himself to people

Answer 1

Sorry but thats really funny, its perfectly normal, leave him to it!

Answer 2

Goodness, you've had some silly answers here already! If he is at nursery then i assume your son is about 3 years old? He is a very little child, and of course you have to teach him, but telling him that he is naughty and rude is very misguided of you! He will associate his penis with being naughty and rude now. It is only a part of his body after all. You would have been better to tell him that it is a private part and that we don't show our private parts to people outside of the family (that will do for now anyway!). I don't understand why you were disgusted. Gentle guidance is needed here, that is all.

Answer 3

It's really easier to address if we sum it up in the adult world. You can't expose yourself or play with yourself in public places, no? And, what happens if you do? You lose friends and/or get a fine/jail time.

It's not "wrong" and doesn't make him "naughty" for playing with it, as human sexuality is a gift. However, it is unacceptable for him to do it in public places and in front of others who don't want to witness it. Therefore, it's no different a rule than it is to not say sassy words, right? It becomes a rule that he cannot play with his [whatever he calls it] while others are around and most definitely doesn't expose himself to others (How about we lend a little compassion to this little girl and HER parents? She's someone's daughter who may/may not be addressing these questions herself!) And, I would go so far as to discipline him if he breaks these rules set by you (just as he'd be disciplined for breaking other rules).

Answer 4

He is just going through a phase and will grow out of it. Don't worry he won't be showing his co workers in years to come and most boys go through the same thing at some point in their early childhood. Try and keep him occupied with other activities to take him out of the obsession (not TV as this doesn't keep his hands active). Good luck but don't worry too much about his new found obsession.

Answer 5

I think it is time to tell him how girls are different from boys and what "private" parts are and why we keep them private. He needs to know that his body is not something to be ashamed of, but that there is a time and a place for him to discover himself. That it's okay, but only at home. And perhaps not to show anyone else but you and your hubby/wife and the doctor.
Try not to make a big deal of this with him, or it could send him in the opposite direction than you want him to go in. If you are calm and relaxed about it, he will see that it is not a big deal and will hopefully listen and abide to the "only at home" rule.
Best of luck.

Answer 6

First off... it is a penis... not a "willy"... willys are worms.. lol! It is not naughty! You never want to teach a child that his body is "naughty". You can tell him it is private. That in public we don't show it to anyone. If he wants to look at it he can do so in his room at home. It is not about teaching him that his penis or his actions are naughty, it is about trying to teach him where it is OK to explore it and where it is not. The good thing is... this won't last... in a short time he will be obsessed with burping and making fart noises with his hand under his arms... or better yet... teach him how to make fart noises with a straw under his arms and he will forget all about his "willy". LOL!

Answer 7

As long as he is not one of the nursery assistants - I wouldn't worry.

You seem to be doing more or less the right thing reaffirming that it is inappropriate to expose himself in public. As with most learning he need to appreciate 'why' it is inappropriate (not just 'bad', 'naughty' or 'wrong') this may invlove some discussion and acceptance as to why people do not do this normally.

But you don't want to set-up any major 'psychological issues' around his pudenda. Certainly it is imappropraite to do this publicly - but then again eventually he will have to learn that we do, in fact, tend to be show it to other people who ask to see it (within an adult relationship and between consenting parties in private...of course!!)

Answer 8

He obviously doesn't understand privicy at this young age and is just discovering his body. Just try your best to explain in simple terms both male and female differences and how it should remain a private matter. But I think what you are doing, discouraging the behaviour from further happening is good...keep it up, just don't worry about it! It's just natural, especially with little boys

Answer 9

Umm HELLO......he's a BOY!!!!!
From the time we males of the species discover it, the penis becomes our favorite toy for life. Don't traumatize the child by telling him untruths (like "it'll fall off") rather, tell him that there are appropriate times and places for him to play with it. Such as when he's alone, or in the tub. Otherwise, let him **** away. It's not going to hurt him, turn him into some kind of degenerate, or anything of that nature.

Answer 10

It is perfectly normal to discover yourself at a young age.
This is a great opportunity to teach him about the difference between boys and girls.

Also you want to instill in him that wanting to touch himself is perfectly natural but it is something that he does in private. He will grow out of it soon enough, well that is until he hits puberty.

Also teaching him about Private parts and starting the good touch bad touch dialog at this point is a good idea. Stay open to any questions he may have.

Answer 11

i stopped my son by telling him i do not have a problem with what he is doing but there is a good time for it and a not so good time for it ..tell him he can do it all he likes but he must be in his room and no where else , then it is as simple as every time you see him do it take him by the arm or hand and lead him to his room and close the door..tell him this is a personal habit and not everyone wants to watch him do it.. also let him know if you catch him doing it when you are not at home you will begin to leave him at home all the time..you may need to arrange to have a sitter to be with him once or twice but it should work within 2 weeks. it really depends more on what you do than what he does.don't yell at him & don't spank him.once he knows what you expect tell him you are disapointed in him.