When I tell him things that I would like to have done for me, he may try the littlest thing, but goes right back to me catering to him ALL the time. I've thought about not doing the things that I do for him, such as cooking, cleaning, etc., but then would that be beneficial?
2007-01-25 03:10:15 · 20 answers · asked by onetime 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hi.. Jus let everything happen naturally... Instead of doing those things you do for him.. jus stop for a little while..and i guarantee he will ask wats wrong with you.. den dats when da conversation will start to form.. Da most important you need to do is get his attention and talk to him.. jus tell him how you feel!!!!
2007-01-25 03:32:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to decide if he is worth it.
Yes, try not doing the things you do for him. He may simply
not notice ... in which case, you have a guy who takes the
attitude of "we do for ourselves", not "we do for each other".
If you don't want that, then move on. If he wises up, then
he'll probably slip again ... be prepared to go on strike again.
If the cycle keeps going too long, you may need to decide
if you want to continue dating such a dense guy.
However, take a HARD look at the list of things you do for
him and what you want him to do for you. Its very easy
to say that what you want him to do is easy and what he
wants you to do is hard ... but you are looking at it from
your point of view. What do you suppose it looks like from
HIS point of view?
For instance, having a guy pick up groceries might be
a big threat to his masculinity - particularly if the groceries
contain "feminine" products. Not a big deal to you, perhaps
a really big deal to him. Other equally obnoxious inequities
may be much more subtle. Look the list over before you
take action.
Of course, you may also decide that his masculinity
is more of a pain-in-the-butt than its worth!
2007-01-25 11:18:48 · answer #2 · answered by Elana 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good relationships are not give and take. They are give and give. Continue to take the high road and cater to his needs. Use communication to attempt to express to him your needs and hopefully he will put other people's needs before his own. It is very difficult for individuals to stop being self-consummed and to think of others. I'm a cynic, and expect most people to only care about themselves, and for the most part they have never let me down; most people are selfish and believe the sun rises and falls with their feeling, needs and wants. If he just don't get it; it's time to find someone who does. Unless of course you want to live your life with someone who puts himself first, second and third. Maybe all you'll get from him is being 4th most important person in his life, but remember if you stop giving to him you wont even rank that high.
2007-01-25 11:24:33 · answer #3 · answered by Ron P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no one should be "catered" to. that's just ridiculous. figure out a compromise between the two of you of what each of you like. sit back, talk about it, and work something out. women think guys are mind readers....and we're far from that...
2007-01-25 11:15:51 · answer #4 · answered by shaun_empire 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about not "catering" to each other like servants and doing it because you WANT to do it, without expecting anything in return?
2007-01-25 11:13:55 · answer #5 · answered by bodinibold 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
hopefully entering a relationship we already know how we want to be treated, so I hate to tell you, you accept this behavior so he continues. Be clear what you want and need from him as he should do to you. Evaluate the situation after you two express this and see if your important enough for him to want to be more flexible in his decisions. Maybe you aren't suppose to be together.
2007-01-25 11:19:40 · answer #6 · answered by HarleyGirl100% 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk tohim.
let him know you will only cook for yourself and clean only your dirt.
See how long that takes him to get a clue.
2007-01-25 11:15:38 · answer #7 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
catered to ? excuse me i must have entered a twilight zone somewhere on another planet of the privileged, or something.
2007-01-25 11:16:45 · answer #8 · answered by Conway 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, you see how Destiny's Child ****** it up for us when they came out wit that damned song?!? I been tryin to tell sistahs that since the song came out but we only seem to realizing it now! lol ... tell him again girl! if he can't accomodate you - then don't accomodate him. he can clean his own ****. he can cook his own food. he's a grown *** man. a relationship is supposed to be 100% + 100%. You can't be the only one providing amenities. tell him to step up or step off!
2007-01-25 11:16:15 · answer #9 · answered by msdrdn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you his girl friend or his maid? its a two way thing, and if you dont get what you need, dont cater to his needs
2007-01-25 11:15:02 · answer #10 · answered by as 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋