I have been engaged to my fiance for over a year but we have been together for 4 years, we have broken up and went our seperate ways 2 or 3 times, but always managed to get back together. I just recently set a date and told my whole family, and friends. But just recently I met this amazing guy, who seems almost prefect for me, its making me crazy! He seems to have all the qualities I want in a man, the qualities my fiance doesn't seem to have at all. I don't know what to do, I think about this other guy a lot, and even see our future to be better than it would be if I married my fiance. Any advice?!
2007-01-25 03:02:54 · 35 answers · asked by TornIn2 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I think you shouldn't be getting married, just think about this whole situation but instead of you, it's your boyfriend who has found a girl that has the qualities that you don't have, does it seem right to you now?
2007-01-25 03:08:44 · answer #1 · answered by Zarahel 3 · 5⤊ 2⤋
It is a pretty simple trick to convince a woman that you are everything her boyfriend is not. Also, the novelty of the new man is interesting in itself. You get drawn into a routine and real life when you have been with someone a while, and the passion will fade (unless you both try hard to keep things interesting). Also, just because you love your fiancee does not mean you won't be interested in other men--there are very few relationships so tight that you won't even look at or think about other men, but many that are worth enough that they shouldn't be sacrificed for novelty.
Since you broke up with your fiancee a couple times, you two may have problems that indicate you shouldn't get married. You really need to evaluate that independently of this new guy. The new guy will get old just like your boyfreind, and when he is done taking you to exciting places and teaching you about his world, you are eventually going to fall into a routine with him. The new guy may seem less boring, more attentive, or whatever than your fiancee, but eventually you get real--and when you do things get a little less passionate, a little more boring, and a lot more comfortable.
Don't think about the new guy--decide whether you really want to marry your fiancee and make a decision based on that. Attraction is fleeting, easily manipulated, and not based on things that make someone a life partner.
2007-01-25 03:16:47 · answer #2 · answered by wayfaroutthere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's always excitement in new love! Is this new guy really THE ONE?
What you need to do is sit down quietly and decide what it is you really want to do.
You've had problems in the past with Current Fellow. Did you work throught those problems that caused you to break up or did you just drift back together? And after 4 years, you won't have the same 'spark' but in it's place you should have a deeper love & respect. Is it there? If not.........
How does Mr. New Love feel? Do you think his intentions are good or is he just looking for a little action?
It's your call as to what you want to do. Know that when you break up with Current Fellow, the chances of rekindling this relationship is nil. But if you are having s-e-r-i-o-u-s doubts, by going through the motions, you would be doing all involved a disservice.
2007-01-25 03:21:04 · answer #3 · answered by weddrev 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you want a marriage (wedding)??? Or, do you just want a party with all of your friends and relatives there? If you have split up that many times and have found another guy that has soooo many good qualities that yer fiance doesn't have, maybe you have no business even considering marriage at this point. Stringing this "relationship" on isn't gonna make things better. I don't know who, (if anyone) is at fault, but it's fairly evident that what you have now is pretty much doomed to fail in it's present state.
2007-01-25 03:30:32 · answer #4 · answered by partyboy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit down and really think about what you want. Dont get married just b/c you set adate and told all your friends. Thats not fair to your fiance or yourself. Second, how well do you know this other man? Can you really say that he is perfect for you? PPL are often very different than they way they seem casually. Finally, If you are having doubts you owe it to your fiance to sit down and talk to him. I'm sure that your not going to admit you have a crush on another guy but, you should atleast tell him you have doubts. Dont sideswipe this poor guy & dont marry him for the wrong reasons.
2007-01-28 18:45:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are thinking about someone else DO NOT GET MARRIED. Marriage is something not to take lightly. Even if you did tell all your loved ones about the date of your marriage and you decide not to get married they should understand. You should take some alone time and really do some soul searching before you make any decisions. Dont go through life wondering if you made the right decision or miserable. When you do make that final decision let it be just that and stand your ground. Do what is right for you life is to short to be unhappy. Also remember time heals all pain live for you and your happiness. With respect for others.
2007-01-25 03:24:09 · answer #6 · answered by M.V 2007 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't get married until you know what you want. You need to tell your fiance that you want to put the wedding on hold along with the relationship so you can figure out some things. Maybe you should get to know this other guy better before you decide that you want to be with him.
2007-01-25 07:07:15 · answer #7 · answered by valerie_lynn82 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is this new relationship based on? If it is sex....then you need to end it now.....and maybe put this wedding on hold for awhile.
If the relationship is based on mutual love, respect and common interests and lifetime goals.....then you should end the engagement and work on building this new relationship before you jump into a marriage that may or may not work.
But, you owe it to this other guy to let him go before you wind up in a marriage of which is based on lies and regret.
Is this new guy even interested in a lifetime commitment with you or is he just wanting a friendship or a few one night stands?
It sounds like you need to just step back from both guys and get your priorities straight before you ruin two guys' lives and your own and possibly children later on.
Good Luck !!!!
2007-01-25 03:21:13 · answer #8 · answered by lildragonlexi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need advice!
You just told yourself that your not ready, nor do you want to marry your fiance.
So what if you have told family nad friends. That can be changed by letting them know you have called it off.
It really wouldn't be fair to your fiance if you went through with a marriage and don't even love him.
Signs like your showing would end up putting you in the catogory of being a "cheater". Don't do that to anyone or to yourself.
Call it off. Be fair.
2007-01-25 03:09:23 · answer #9 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Does the other guy has the same feelings for u or its just one sided likeness...first check it out...don't believe in the qualities at all...see who loves & cares about u much...may be after some time u met a third guy wid more qualities u want..wut u gonna do than???... make a strong decision and stick to it....
Good luck !!!
2007-01-25 03:41:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to break off your engagement. Regaurdless of the other man that you are starting to have feelings for. If your fiance doesn't have the qualities you are looking for, and you know that, he should not be your fiance. You owe it to the both of you to do something about it now.
2007-01-25 03:07:56 · answer #11 · answered by MommaSchmitt 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋