Ridiculous bible absurdities for bible thumpers?

Question

God suddenly wants to kill Moses after having a chat with him
(Exodus 4:24)

In the 5th plague all the cattle dies but in the 7th and 10th plagues God kills them again (Ex9:2-6, Ex9:19-20, Ex12:29)

The population of the jews went from approximately 70 (Ex1:5) to more than 600 000 in 430 years (Ex12:37-41)

God brags that he deliberately make people dumb, deaf or blind (Ex 4:11)

Pharao says they can go but is still struck with the locust plague (Ex 10:10-12)

Why did God require a sign on the door posts of the jews? Isn't he supposed to be all-knowing? (Ex12:13)

The Egyptians chases after the jews on horses (Ex14:23) but according to (Ex9:3-6) there wouldn't have been any horses since God killed them all

If you beat your slave and he survives a day or 2 it is OK because you own him (Ex21:20-21)

The people doesn't put decorations on (Ex33:4)
God tells the people to take their decorations off (Ex33:5)
They take decorations off that they didn't put on (Ex 33:6)

Answer 1

Anything is possible in the minds of the superstitious.

Answer 2

Let me answer one. Wait!!! The Old Testament is a history book for primitives!! OUCH!! I know I'm gonna get it now!! But I stay in the New Testament because of the reasons you cite from one book, Exodus, and because Jesus came and I am under a new covenant. I started in John then skipped back to Matthew and started right in like it was a textbook, underlining, making notes, the whole bit!! (Hard Work Too) Anyway, I just bought an enlarged text (my eyes are tired from the PC and our too-big-for-the-room TV and that makes me a bad person because I'm ruining my eyes) and I plan to just go through the words in Red. And that plan is still on the shelf. You are studying more than I am!! Thanks for the reminder. I tell myself that the afterlife IS what it IS. It's not whatever each person DECIDES it is. It's either there or it's not---------or it's a whole 'nother deal. But eternity is soooo much longer than 70 or 80 years that I owe myself the time for making my decision to have faith. My decision?? It was to read it with an open mind. That's all I decided AT FIRST!! Are you brave enough to take it on??? Okay, whatever is for you. Carry on My Friend!!! (I love a person who studies) @8-)

Answer 3

**In the 5th plague all the cattle dies but in the 7th and 10th plagues God kills them again (Ex9:2-6, Ex9:19-20, Ex12:29)**

Yeah, I guess the darned things just kept coming back to life!

**Why did God require a sign on the door posts of the jews? Isn't he supposed to be all-knowing? (Ex12:13)**

For the same reason he had to call out "Where are you?" when Adam hid from him in the trees--and he also said, "I will go down and see this for myself" when men were building the tower of Babel. Obviously, Yahweh was NOT seen as all-knowing by the guys who invented him.

The whole Exodus story is stupid, made-up nonsense. It never happened, there is no record of it in Egyptian historical records, and no evidence of it anywhere else. Christians and Jews alike just want fantasy to turn into reality because they wish it to be so.

Answer 4

not one of the Bible is fairly meant to be omitted. yet i'm particular you've stated that folk will both misrepresent the that technique of the scripture that they are accused ot violating, OR use yet another scripture in bolster their beliefs. Or, make claims that the unique translation of particular words interior the Bible may lead you to believe diverse issues than what you're interpreting from the present translation. celebration: The Bible makes in sparkling in dissimilar scriptures how Yahweh is meant to sense about homosexuality. although, there's a area retaining that unique that technique of those scriptures extremely purport the concept that Jesus became fantastic with homosexuals. although, he wasn't. people only go with to position self assurance in a Yahweh, although they don't go with to believe interior the actual incontrovertible actuality that he ought to condemn those that were born evidently interested in the same sex. I even do not have any difficulty in the experience that they only admit that that is what the Bible conveys, yet only saying that pretty a lot each and every translation of the Bible were given it incorrect on one website only so that you'll believe that the God you worship became extremely all loving and would not discriminate is weak.

Answer 5

The first one has given theologians, both jewish and christians fits over the centuries.

Jonathan Kirsch devotes a whole chapter to it in his book, The Harlot by the Side of the Road

Answer 6

It's hard to tell if you're trying to find an answer to the things which make you doubt, or if you're attempting to poke holes in the Bible. I would give an answer if I were certain you really wanted to know.
I would suggest then only this, that you put forth the effort to truly know about those things you have asked of. Read it carefully.

Answer 7

I could answer every single one of these...none is especially new or difficult, but understanding the answer requires realizing that the text is a lot more than just the text. There are complementary texts and linguistic issues at play. Explaining to someone who has no interest in hearing answers is wasted breath.
If you ever decide you have sincere questions, feel free to ask me.

Answer 8

My favourite is that the omnipotent God can't even find Adam when he decides to play hide and seek.

Also, feeding of the thousands with the loaves and fish. When was the last time you went to an all-day event knowing that there was no catering and didn't take food. Are you trying to tell me that only two people out of thousands thought to bring lunch?

Answer 9

You know you like it!

I guess you can read what you want to read.

Maybe you are just not one of the ones meant to understand.

Mt 13:13 - This is why I speak to them in parables: "Though seeing, they do not see; though hearing, they do not hear or understand.

Mt 13:14 - In them is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah: "'You will be ever hearing but never understanding; you will be ever seeing but never perceiving.

Mr 4:12 - so that, "'they may be ever seeing but never perceiving, and ever hearing but never understanding; otherwise they might turn and be forgiven!'"
.

Answer 10

I could report you because you are not asking a question but I won't because leaving your rant here exposes you for the hate filled sad person you are, and many of us will pray that you get the help you need after we read your words.

Answer 11

You're sitting at -4 points Gert. Is it worth it? Why don't you read the Koran or something and find something there... When you read the Bible in context completely with faith it does make sense but when you pull things out of context and read with doubt you're just going to confuse yourself even more.