How do I help her deal with this? I know it is a common occurrence that when you get older you start pulling away from the friends that used to be your best, but she is devastated. This is my oldest (9), so this is the first time having to help her get through something like this...any suggestions from the pros out there?
2007-01-25 02:58:18 · 7 answers · asked by ? 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
i meant friend...obviously
2007-01-25 03:03:15 · update #1
my daughter had some friends that weren't that nice as well, but it was different because they were new friends. At this age.. we can still help them learn to make good friends... Tell her how she deserves to be treated... how to set bounderies and if necessary, how to walk away from people. You teach people how to treat you.
2007-01-25 03:04:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I did this to my best friend when I was that age and I came to regret it. I never had a friend like her again. Later, as a teenager,I was on the receiving end of the "dump". Talk about kharma!!
Tell you're daughter that her friend will regret it, that she'll be the one missing out later when your daughter has moved on to find other friends, which she will. Let her cry to you, be there for her, spoil her a little and encourage her to have other friends come over for visits and sleepovers. Also, encourage her to stop trying to hold on to the old friend because it will only give the girl fuel to be meaner than she already is. In time, Your daughter will move on. We all have. It sucks, though. Girls are mean little creatures. I'm glad I have boys. Good luck!!
2007-01-25 14:42:20 · answer #2 · answered by Shelley L 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, unfortunately girls can be mean, they go through the stages of doing that. My daughter is going through the same thing right now, she is 10, and it is with the girls in her classroom. My daughter, is one of those children who will take so much and then will break down, not in school, but at home and I have seen her cry. She is not one for telling the teacher that they are doing this to her. She will take the abuse instead of getting someone in trouble. The other night was the final straw for me, she had been put into a group in class, with her best friend and another girl. They decided that my daughter should do the whole project by herself. Because they did not like the project which was on spiders. So, I saw her doing this whole project by herself the other night. I asked her if this was a book report that was due for February. She said no, it was a class project that she had to do with her girl friends. I asked her why she was doing the whole thing herself, she replied that the other girls did not like the project and they think "she should do it all". (meaning my daughter). That did it, I ended up having my daughter call her friend at home, and I talked to her, and asked her if she is suppose to help do the project, she said yes. I then asked why was my daughter doing it all. She said she wanted to write it all. When I asked her this she replied "no" she did not want to do it all. I then told Sarah that she needed to help do the essay , because her name was on there also. And if she wanted credit for it, she better help or I would be talking to her mother and the teacher. She said ok. I also told her that making fun of a friend in school is not right, and if they were really friends that is not how you treat one. My daughter, understands that she does not have to put up with this, and from now on when her and Sarah disagree, she will tell her to leave her alone or she does not have to talk to her. Now, since all of this has happened, Sarah has been being alot nicer to my daughter, and is not making fun of her in school now. Moral of the story is that you need to tell your daughter that she does not have to put up with this, and she does not need to talk to her either if she chooses. I hope this helps out with your situation .. Good Luck!!!
2007-01-25 11:46:23 · answer #3 · answered by squeaky 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Aww sweetie, my heart breaks for you and her. My daughter went through the exact same thing last year but there was another girl involved. The were ganging up on her, sending her nasty emails, talking about her. I called the parents because for me it went to far with the emails. You can really only be there for her and encourage her to hang out with other girls as well. Remind her friendships change, people change and as adults we go through it too. Also extend playdates for her with others.
And also tell her to surround herself with people who make her feel good not bad. It's rough, I have cried because my daughter felt so hurt. It got better but there are times when it still happens.
You want to protect them but at the same time have them figure it for themselves. Most importnat, be there for her, she needs you.
Good luck
2007-01-25 11:14:56 · answer #4 · answered by Willow 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is best to allow your daughter to deal with this on her own. It will give her an important life lesson in how to deal with people of all personallity traits, and how to get along with people we may not like or who may not like us. This is very important since in the workplace we have to deal with different types of people, some of whom we like and other's we can barely tolerate.
You can assure your daughter though that you are there to talk about her feelings whenever she needs to. I know it's hard watching your kids get hurt but it only serves to make them that much stronger.
2007-01-25 11:07:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Then don't let your daughter talk to her friend again.
2007-01-25 11:03:09 · answer #6 · answered by E.R. 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her to make it clear to her friend that she will not take crap from her.also assure her of ur support and imbibe the confidence in her that she can make other better friends.
2007-01-25 14:17:53 · answer #7 · answered by mots 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋