Is my mom jealous of my fiancee?

Question

She works nearby my home and get off everynite at 9:00, she stops by home, takes dinner with me and mom, sometimes stay over, sometimes goes back home. I called mom this morning, told her I was going to stay at my fiancee's tonight and because she cooked a delicious soup yesterday, I was going to bring some to my fiancee tonight. My mom thinks my fiancee is taking advantage of us someone by requesting me bring her some food over. My mom says, "Does not she have enough money to buy her some"?, I mean, my mom she looked at it that way, but I do not think my fiancee is trying to take advantage of my by doing that. She just likes the way my mom cooks and prefers to have some delicious soup before getting some crappy one at the store. It is not about taking economically advantage of me. What do you think?

Answer 1

These things happen. Its difficult for some moms to let go of their sons, maybe ur mom is going thru that phase. Give her time & attention. Tell her shes a wonderful cook thats why ur fiancee loves her soup, not coz shes taking advantage of her.
Ask ur fiancee to show her appreciation for home cooked food by returning it in some other way. Maybe by getting ur mom a gift, some flowers, a book etc, its only fair to ur mom.

Answer 2

My future MIL (now my MIL for 14 years) said some of the same things when my husband and I were engaged, and I don't know what she was implying. I think there is always a shadow of a doubt when a young women is entering a son's life, from a mother's eye. It may be that she is, and always will be, your mother, and has always made, in her judgment, the best decisions for you. Marriage is no different. She wants to be reassured that this decision, one of the most important decisions you make, and that will ultimate affect your lifetime happiness, and the happiness of her grandchildren, if any, is a sound one. Is she jealous, perhaps so. But, not directly of your fiancee. I think it would be jealousy of a decision made without her advice, consultation, or maybe approval. Love happens behind closed doors, and should remain so. It is a letting go, and your mom may be adjusting to it. She may never adjust. But, you can help her get to know your fiancee, and not put yourself in the middle. Help her respect your decision, and reinforce the fact that your fiancee makes you happy. I wouldn't advertise that you are staying over at your fancee's, or vice versa. That may irritate your Mom, if her values differ from yours and your fiancee's. Just go with the flow, until your marriage. Engagement is a time when you are both testing the waters, and finding your whether you two are compatible in ALL areas; family, ideas, values, morality, spirituality, and harmony. You are looking for a true companion, one that will be a friend in 60 years, who you can talk to, and confide your deepest fears.

Good luck. I hope I helped a bit. God Bless you and your family. :)

Answer 3

there isn't a woman in the world that your mother will think is good enough for you...LOL Sad but true. It's a mother thing. She's not jealous just doesn't know how to let go. So everything your fiancee does is going to ring a bell to your mother. She, your mother, thinks that what she is doing is only looking out for your best interest. So don't be down on her, just loves you and she's not jealous. But if you plan on being serious with this girl then you need to start telling your mom that she is going to have to start letting loose the tight grip she has on you. It doesn't have to be all in one day. But small steps, and if you're living with your mom the first step you might want to think about taking is moving out on your own....Start taking care of yourself and not relying so much on your mother for doing things for you...like cooking. when she sees that you are capable of doing for you then she won't feel so jilted when your fiancee starts doing for you.

Answer 4

Well if you are the one who brought up the soup and there were leftovers then I don’t see the problem. Your mom may feel a little resentment that she isn’t #1 in your book anymore and your fiancée has moved into that spot. But show her equal attention when you can, after all she is your mother.

Answer 5

It's not that she is jealous of your fiancee, she may see it as your fiancee is stealing her baby away, you are her son, she has spent her life raising you, it is very hard to let go even if you live close by once you are married. It's a mom thing.

Answer 6

If it won't make your mom mad, attempt getting her to speak approximately some thing else. Ask your mom approximately what your uncle became like as somewhat boy. have been they close? maybe your mom is preserving of him. yet do no longer take all of it on your self. those subject concerns in all hazard have been occurring formerly you have been born and you mustn't experience to blame for fixing all of it.

Answer 7

I think that you need to move out from your Mommy. There is always tension when a woman comes into the life of a mother's son but this is getting exagerated by your living with your mother. Move out soon.

Answer 8

I think asking you to bring food is fine. If she's cooking for you, that's a nice thing to do.

Answer 9

she's tired of her coming over all the time. she thinks that if she has a place to live, she should stay there, or both of you should go over there. i think your mom is looking forward to you leaving the house, not looking forward for someone to move in with her. she's probably scared that you are going to ask her to allow her to move in with you 2.

Answer 10

The fact that she's using the term "us" to refer to you and her, I'd say your mom has a bit of a control problem!