my bf and i just broke up because of a few problems.we are still bffs and we both want another chance.we have gone through this before and couldnt stand being apart.currently we have a friends with benefits thing going on.i am SERIOUSLY changing my ways since it was my fault we broke up.i really want him back and he still ALWAYS tells me how much he loves me.hes happy that im changing but he says he doesnt think its the right time 2 get back 2gether.we broke up 2 months ago & i really want him back before the end of school.hes trying 2 change 2 so we can be 2gether again.any advice or pointers?thanx
2007-01-25 02:43:46 · 15 answers · asked by davedesrosiersgirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you have to change to be with someone its not going to work.
You either mesh well or you don't.
2007-01-25 02:49:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you push it too hard, it's going to backfire on you. Actions speak louder than words. You obviously still see him a lot, just let him observe that whatever it is you were doing wrong you have changed. Telling someone until they're deaf that you've changed doesn't make any difference. Just be patient, and if things don't work out, it'll suck for a while, but you'll be a better person and someone out there will love you for who you are. I've been there, still going through it. My husband and I are mutually trying to make changes to help our marriage, and though we tell each other until we're blue in the face, it doesn't matter until one of us sees the difference.
Good luck, take care!
2007-01-25 02:49:17 · answer #2 · answered by kswildangel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People don't change - just the behavior and the situation. Just give it some time. Don't talk to him for a while and especially stop the "friends with benefits" thing. No wonder he doesn't want to get back together. Note the old saying: Why buy the cow when you are getting the milk for free?
No contact with him and he'll come crawling back.
2007-01-25 02:48:29 · answer #3 · answered by Jenn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Here is my advice: The term "friends with benefits" is actually a term made up by a guy to make girls believe they were gettting some kind of benefit from being used by a guy who is not interested in being in a real relationship with them. I do not know what you think you did to cause damage to the relationship but the guy you are sleeping with is not worth your time. No respectful guy will sleep with an ex girlfriend, knowing she still loves him, and say he does not want a relationship. Stop giving him sex. You are getting used.
2007-01-25 02:50:15 · answer #4 · answered by thatartistwin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no motivation to change if you still are providing him with your company and on top of that sex. By doing this, he is not taking you seriously. Stand your ground, and let him know that you have given this some thought and feel you have given him ample time to work on the relationship. Show him you no longer are willing to sit by and wait for HIM to decide as to what HE wants. People need a motivation to change and by you being available to him does not motivate him. Good luck to you!
2007-01-25 02:55:04 · answer #5 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow that's the situation I'm in right now, only difference is that we've been broken up for a month :) I shouldn't even be replying to this since I don't really have an advice, but if you want to talk about it some more email me :)
2007-01-25 02:48:29 · answer #6 · answered by melimel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he wants to see that you have changed he will. Having a friends with benefits relationship in the meantime is not a way to get him to see you in your true light. You two need to stop doing that if you really love each other and want to have a good relationship and stay good friends.
2007-01-25 02:48:26 · answer #7 · answered by BetsyLauren 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep working on your problems and show him you are up to the challenge of becoming a better person so you two can create a better relationship. Actions speak louder than words.
2007-01-25 02:50:16 · answer #8 · answered by prettyblueeyes101010 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop being friends w benefits. He is getting what he wants and doesn't have to give anything back. Tell him you are a package deal: g/f or nothing.
2007-01-25 02:48:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is your best bet, Dont talk about how your changing, Show him how your changing. If you are ment to be together, then you will be..."Actions speak louder then words, for with actions your whole body moves and with words only your mouth moves" Kaniizm....
2007-01-25 02:50:04 · answer #10 · answered by - ?????(-?jµ$?î¢è ?-)????? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop trying to prove to him how much you've changed and how much you need him.And also be sure that if you're changing your ways...be sure that these changes are ultimately for the betterment of you ,and your soul.Not for him.
2007-01-25 02:49:09 · answer #11 · answered by itscarolj 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋