While I do understand the heartbreak at the thought of hurting your daughter's little world, I think if she is spoiled to the point of you fearing having another child, she is way too spoiled. It's not healthy for a child to have EVERYTHING centered around them. I just had my first baby a year ago and I can totally understand the urge to spoil them rotten and to show them that you love them by centering everything around them. However, as a parent, I think you have to abstain from that. It doesn't make for a well adapted and well adjusted child or adult. That method of parenting makes for selfish adults.
I do have a step daughter who is 5 years old who lives with us full time, so I am a full time mommy to her as well as my first born son. She was spoiled with attention and with material things. It was absolutely disgusting. The best thing that happened to her was a new baby in the house. She learned her place in this world very quick and it was a healthy lesson for her to learn.
I don't think that you should have to fear having another baby. If your relationship with your daughter is as strong as it sounds, you will be just fine and your lives will be even fuller with a new addition.
Good luck!
2007-01-25 02:59:47
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answer #1
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answered by Anonymous
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Honestly? I'd make her a part of it. "How would you like to have a little sister or brother?" Most (now I say most) children fantasize about having a sibling. If possible (if and when you do get pregnant) take her along to a sono appointment. Make sure you make her a part of it. Do lots of play activities with her that involve "caring for babies" (baby dolls). That way she will have an idea of what to expect. Even if she says she would rather not have a sibling she will eventually adjust to it. At four most children think the world revolves around them (not their fault, its how their brains function at this point). Lucky for you, the independant "I don't need help from anyone, I can do it myself, thank you very much" stage is fast approaching. Also, eventually she will have to understand that the world does not revolve around her (entirely, anyway). Having a sibling will help with this. And after the baby comes, make sure to let her "help." I find that 4 year old make excellent "gophers" lol. (go for this, go for that). And they usually enjoy it.
2007-01-25 02:54:12
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answer #2
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answered by autumnofserenity@sbcglobal.net 4
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My son was six when my husband and I decided to have another baby. My son was jealous and straving for attention by acting out. So I think your daughter will be jealous. But I think you should include her in everything the pregnancy and baby care. Always try to make time for her when the baby is asleep by playing with toys or cooking together, or whatever you guys use to do together. Make a date and stick to it. You will have to start this type of routine now so that it won't be such a shock to her later.
I have noticed since my youngest is two now it is easier for me to include both of them into the palytime. My big thing is to make sure you always talk about how much the baby loves her from birth. So that you can stop the sibling rivalry. Now my sons love each other I always catch them hugging one another and play great together. I hope this helps... Good Luck
2007-01-25 02:45:59
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answer #3
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answered by Jade 4
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ok properly first of all, i ought to go with to congratulate you on your engagement and new child =D and evidently, my reaction must be that your too youthful, although due on your tenacity i am going to work out advice which consists of which could be inappropriate. also, I comprehend that you reported you're financially sturdy, even though it must be a lot less stressful to grant a better answer on how "sturdy". How a lot is your fiance/households making each and every year, the position do you stay, what's the similar old better 0.5 and little ones income the position you stay, the fee of your position, the tax fee the position you stay, etc). each and every attainable economic and economic variable must be useful. i'm only assuming that you're better 0.5 and little ones makes $one hundred,000 a three hundred and sixty 5 days with a provincial/state time-honored of $60,000, and 14% tax (those parts are in accordance to the position I stay). Then i assume having yet another infant, albeit a problematical job, must be mitigated in accordance to how a lot money is being presented in, and the actual incontrovertible actuality that you're continually domicile. because you're only 18, it must be very complicated in view that your mind only advanced completely and continues to be finalising all tweaks. each and every from time to time, even regardless of the actuality that you'll manage a million new child completely, yet another may push you over your human being threshold, in which case it is thoroughly in accordance to what you sense you could manage, only don't be too rash xD. So yeah, in case you extremely wan't a baby, good luck, and that i wish you, your little ones, and your quickly-to-be-husband the finest of each and everything =D
2016-10-16 02:16:50
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answer #4
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answered by weatherford 4
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If you want another baby have it NOW. My mom had the same problem with me. She wanted another one but I was her only child and we were very close. She waited until I was 8 1/2 years old before she had my little sister and now there is such an age difference between us that we are not really close like sisters should be. I grew up always wanting a sister close to MY age so I would have someone to talk to, share clothes and secrets and stuff like that. Now I am about to graduate high school and start doing my own thing and my sister is only just starting middle school. It's better to have your children closer together in age.
2007-01-25 02:41:38
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answer #5
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answered by Anonymous
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Time for your daughter to realize she is not the center of the universe. You will be doing her a favour. Three to four years is perfect spacing between children in my opinion. Your daughter will become more and more interested in outside activities and friends leaving you more time to concentrate on the next one. She is old enough to adjust quickly and she will love the cachet of being 'the big sister. This spacing of kids also ensures much less competition and fighting among the siblings They are each at much different stages of development.
2007-01-25 03:19:33
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answer #6
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answered by MomX4 1
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Just tell her that she is going to have a baby to play with and to help take care of, Im sure she will be fine. I am wondering the same thing. My daughter is 16 1/2 months old and my husband and I are trying for another baby, and I am worried that she will be jealous too, but she loves babies and always carries her dolls around and pats them and "feeds" them and puts them "nite nite", so I think that she would love to have a baby around and she would be a big help too. good luck
2007-01-25 02:39:02
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answer #7
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answered by Anonymous
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Personally, if your 4 year old is running your life to the extent that you would not have another child for fear of her reaction, you've spoiled her *far* too much. It's your life, have a baby if you want, it'll be good for her to not be the center of attention for a change. She won't like it, but it'll be good for her. And don't spoil the next one so much.
2007-01-25 02:36:17
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answer #8
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answered by tabithap 4
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It sounds like you need your relationship to change. You will always love her, but of course many things will change if you have another child. This child needs to know the world doesn't revolve around her, and she may become a loving and caring sibling. (My son did when his sister came along.)
Remember, when you have additional children, you don't need to divide your love. You multiply it.
2007-01-25 02:40:01
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answer #9
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answered by dentroll 3
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maybe shes a little TOO spoiled
2007-01-25 02:42:32
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answer #10
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answered by meg 3
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