Father helping girls 9 and 6 in a fitting room with swimsuits.?

Question

I am the fitting room attendant for a large mass merchandiser. Last night I had a situation in which a couple came to our fitting rooms with 3 girls ages 9, 6 and 20 months. The girls were all trying on swimsuits. It was the father who went into one of our large family fitting rooms with the girls while the mother stayed out and waited, telling me that they were "daddy's girls." I am wondering what others think of this situation. I think it should have been the mother who went in with the girls not their dad, considering the ages of two of the girls.

Answer 1

Ok I got chills just reading that. I as a mother, never went into the changing room with my children, 3 boys 1 girl, after the age of 4. They can get dressed the best that they can and then I would go and help out the rest of the way.

The fact was brought up that trying on swimsuits in the middle of Jan. is a bit odd, well...frankly that is strange to say the least. Could be innocent, but add in the other details...well its just strange.

The fact that mom is telling you that the girls are "daddy's girls", while he is in the dressing room with them...ummm screams perv daddy is getting in some sicko time to me.He doesn't have to touch them or anything like that to get his kicks off. Sometimes just looking is enuff to hold them over til they are older. Mom is either hiding something or mom is in the dark.

This could all be innocent, but VERY unlikely. I hope they paid with a credit card or some how you know who they are or where they live. I personally would call the child protective services or the police to have them checked out. If that's not possible, I hope that they come back. Have your co-workers keep an eye out for them and if they come back, u need to either call the police right then and there. Or get their address and then call. If its nothing, great...you were just looking out for the girls' well being. Its not something that I would get mad about. I'd actually be glad to see that ppl aren't just turning their heads when they see odd behavior. If there is something going on however, then you will be protecting both those little girls and the youngest one also.

Answer 2

Answerer's before me:This is the time of year swimsuits come out and MANY hotels have pools. Stop questioning what you do not know.
Questioner: When trying on swimsuits the underwear stays on. It is OK for dad to help them out. Have you thought that maybe mom needed a little break? She has 3 kids and probably not a whole lot of time without whining when all of them are girls. to her, this is a vacation. Dad's helping the kids and she gets to sit down for a minute. If the older girl was 12 it would be weird, but all under 10? Dad was just being helpful. Plus at the girls' ages, they are more likely to be Daddy's girls. Moms lose the majority of attention when girls turn about 3 or 4, and that will last until at least puberty.

Answer 3

I am a father of a 3 year old and I still give her her bath every night and I see no problem with it. At around 18 months we (my wife and I) decided that I need privacy from her when I am unclothed.

I think 9 is getting to the age where the father doesn't need to be there to help her get dressed. Its still not yet a problem for the 6 year old. Those are my opinions.

Answer 4

Oh my God! is that we've come to now....a Father can't help his own Daughters without someone thinking something may be going on...No-one would bat an eyelid if it were the mother helping her 2 boys of the same age...yes SOME Father's & believe it or not SOME Mothers do sexually abuse their children, but lets not start making the assumption that all Fathers are maybe up to something just because they help their very young Daughters get changed in a changing room.

I'm not being funny here but surely if something wrong was on this father's mind he doesn't have to be getting a quick peak in a public place, anyone sick enough to be touching or ogling their kids in the first place would quite easily (& do) carry out their sordid actions at home in private.
They are the both the little girls parents so they are both responsible to be doing parental chores.

I was sexually abused as a child so it's not like I'm closed minded about this but let's keep a balanced view here & not perpetuate the idea that ALL Fathers are potential sexual abusers to their offspring....isn't that how witch hunts start?

Answer 5

I agree it was totally inappropriate for the father to go back into the fitting room with the girls. Any child over the age of 5, unless handicapped, is old enough to dress herself and can come out of the dressing room and show her parents the swimsuit.

Discuss the situation with your manager as I am sure they would not want to end up being a party to a lawsuit if "daddy" was molesting the little girls in their store due to lack of policy, what type of policy can be established going forward and not allow a parent in the dressing room if the child can obviously dress themselves and politely, but firmly, point out that is the policy of your store that children who can dress themselves be assigned their own dressing room.

Answer 6

I completely agree with you. If the girls were babies or toddlers then this would not be a problem but considering they both were over 5, yes the mother should have helped. Even though they are daddy's little girls, there is a fine line between a situation being cute and just plain wrong. What I'm wondering is, can't a nine year old girl dress herself? Even my five year old niece picks out her own clothes.

Answer 7

I dont think it's incredibly strange. Sure the 9 year old could probably take care of her own, but why should it matter which parent is in there?!?! That doesn't make any sense to me. If mom doesnt have a problem with it, why should you? The girl is 9! She is the man's child. I dont see a big deal in it. Now, if you heard something like, "Daddy, dont do that" coming from the fitting room, then you'd have an issue, but him in there with his young daughters is not a big deal.

Answer 8

Normally it would be seen as correct for the mother to go in and help the girls, but there is nothing wrong with a daddy doing that any more than a mother going in with her six year old son and helping him try on swimsuits. It is such a double standard that way.

Answer 9

this does nound a bit strange, but some families have no insecurities and sorts. For example i was never too great with my mom, so for any advice(even women-relatd advice) i would go to my dad. My family decided that it is better that i know what i need to know(and that it is accurate) from my family, other than my friends who might unintentionally mislead me. I even went clothes shopping with him(i didnt change in front of him and all). Every family has certain customs/rules/principles, so it doesnt matter.
ps. the one who mentioned that dads might molest children, and that children should be kept at an arms distance, that is paranoi in some ways, because it is known that mother molest children too. Its like telling a child not to go outside ever because one never knows who is out there

Answer 10

I think the 9 year old is old enough to dress herself and doesn't need any help but since the 6 yr old and baby were in there then i wouldn't really worry about it. Dads often give their kids baths and things so as long as the mother was there i wouldn't think much of it because i don't know many mothers who would let their husbands molest their child and most fathers wouldn't have the heart to do that anyway.