Does anyone agree with this?

Question

I’m just curious about something. Does it matter when dating someone, their education level? If they’re smart? Their living situation? What kind of car they drive? If they have a career of a job? What are their short term goals? What are their long term goals? These things have always been important to me. Now, I’m being told that I’m too picky. And that this arrogant, when I’ve always thought it was having standards with who I date.
I offer these things so, I’ve always wanted someone I felt was on my level. Any opinions on this.
Is it wrong to look down on people when they don’t seem to measure up without giving them a chance.

Its an oxymoron, you can’t be happy and homeless. Can’t be happy while starving. My intention was only to gain understanding through others opinions.
I’m looking for someone who at least matches with me financially. Is that so much to ask? To want to be treated instead of going Dutch when we go out.

Answer 1

No. Nobody should settle for less. You don't have to be with someone just because you don't want to be alone. Keep your standard. Some won't agree but it's your life and you won't be happy with someone below your level.

Answer 2

I agree and don't agree all at the sametime -- Standards are great, and everyone needs them and not enough people do -- And you have great ones! I wouldn't say you are picky, I would say you have high stanards, which is hard to find in anyone these days.

I had the samethings and then I met my boyfriend 5 years ago. We were and pretty much still are total opposites. I am the semi-outgoing goofy waitress/finance rep and he is joining the army. He's totally hick, loves to fish and hunt, and I love musicals! We adjust to each others differences and it makes us grow. He probably knows more about the musical RENT than he cares to, and he actually loved the movie -- he knows all the words to the whole soundtrack!

Sometimes, opposites truly do attract. Is it 'wrong' to look down on someone b/c of what they drive, or the fact that they work at Taco Bell or Wal-mart -- Yes, I think it is, but just because you're stereo-typing.

I don't think you should look for the totally wrong guy, just to give him a chance...but if you meet a guy and you feel a connection, don't turn him down becasue you found out he drives a 1993 saturn and not a 2007 Mercedes. People are people and it's their personallity, attitude, dreams and ambitions that make them--THEM! Not their cars or jobs.

Don't give up on Mr. Right -- he's out there...he just might not be in a business suite driving a jag....don't be afraid to test the waters -- :-)

Answer 3

It depends upon your individual preferences. If you prefer someone with intelligence, education, living situation, income and goals similar to yours, then that means that you will potentially have more things in common. It shouldn't be about looking down on people or expecting them to "measure up" to some predetermined standard. And it isn't about finding someone who is "on your level"; you don't have a "level". Nobody is "better" than anyone else. But you do know what your personal preferences are, and it is ok to look for someone who meet those parameters. And no, you are not being too picky. YOU are the person who will have to date whomever you choose, so you had better find someone who makes you happy and who you get along with.

Answer 4

"Looking Down" is snobbery. everyone chooses different lifestyles. One is not better than any other, its a matter of personal choice. dating some one who has similar values and goals as yourself only makes sense to me. My preference is the opposite of yours...I work as little as possible and play as much as possible. I drive used cars, live in a small place, buy clothes at good will, and take two very very nice trips every year...i would rather ski every weekend than buy expensive clothes and cars, but I am much too lazy to get a job that pays for both...so, i chose the skiing. I have enough put away that I will never find myself in a soup line, but i am not rich, and don't care. I play a lot of poker, so, some months I am very flush, and some months i am flat broke...I don't think you would date me, but my current GF accepts all this and we are having a great time...We are off to Telluride for a week of skiing next week! I know millionaires who have never been able to find the time for such a trip...to each his own. I love my 2000 ford mini van and Lewis, my Newfoundland dog. I would rather go fishing with him than worry about what the stock market is doing. I am 47 years old and have gotten along fine so far. The only time I have ever had to sleep outside has been on a camping trip.

Answer 5

It is good to have a set of standards with whom we are willing to date as long as it is not on a judgemental level. We should select someone according to their moral standards, their honesty, compassion for others, as well as their goals. If we exclude someone just because of their current financial situation is not great (not having a car, great clothes etc) then this is wrong. If a person is working towards personal goals as a way to improve areas in their own life, as compared to someone who has no ambition at all, then the one with no ambition would be a poor choice for any relationship. And this would not be for financial reasons alone. People with no ambition can also drag us down and affect our future well being in all areas of life. Therefore, no I do not feel you are wrong in being more selective in your choices of who you go out with. . . Continue to do what you feel is best for you and try not to listen to well meaning friends.

Answer 6

You have to be comfortable with the person you are thinking of dating. There are some highly successful people who don't have a lot of education, but have horse sense and savvy and have learned a lot in their job situation. I don't think the car matters. Some people who are quite wealthy don't feel the need to flaunt it. Let others tell you that you are too picky, but don't just settle for whatever comes along. Keep your eyes and ears and heart open. You are the one who knows yourself best. Every date doesnt have to end up being a major relationship, but I know some guys are hard to get rid of after you decide they don't make your socks go up and down.

Answer 7

I think it's shallow to worry about it too much. I mean, what about how they treat you? I think that qualities are more important than cars. People don't have the same car at 35 that they have at 20 -- but they often have the same qualities. Someone who has about the same education might be a better match, depending.

Asking people interview type questions on a date, like what are their goals: I think it screams crazy.

If you're looking down on people because they're not on your level, I hope you are well-educated, brilliant and have all your ducks in a row. If this is true, then there should be men like you searching you out...Either you have the wrong friends, hang out in the wrong places, or you are aspiring to live on someone else's spoils.

Answer 8

When it comes down to dating, youre preferences are entirely up to you, BUT you should never "look down" on anyone in life. You're never going to find a man who fits all of your criteria. In my own opinion, if a man is honest, hardworking, trustworthy, and loyal theres nothing more that I can ask for. I'd be more concerned with what you had in common... You sound as if right now youre more concerned with the financial security of your future rather than your happiness.

Answer 9

I think one should go for the person and not their achievements ie money etc. Education however is a different thing provided you are looking for intellectual stimulation. Love however is a different matter, you need to be accepting and unafraid of selling yourself short. Be a bit braver and take a leap of faith I would suggest.

Answer 10

i used to be
but when u find a cool guy that u really like and he really likes u
u kinda forget about all this standards
nothing will really matter

but if u will be so picky all ure life u can lose the chance of dating a lot of nice guys