howdo I fix this problem, it is liek pulling teeth with her sometimes and it is very frustrating. She is worse in the mornings than in the afternons but it happens at all times of the day. She came to live with me (her father) a few months ago becuase of her behavior but it isnt getting any better. She doesnt act this way to my wife her step mom just me and her Biological mother. Help please.
2007-01-25 01:22:51 · 19 answers · asked by whelchel77 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Don't let what your daughter has gone through effect your setting limits and enforcing consequences. You as her dad NEED to lay the law down w/her.
How do you feel about spanking? I would highly recommend doing them, or being more consistent doing them, if you haven't tried yet. If you have tried spanking, I recommend the old fashioned way. Pants down, over the knee thing. Don't worry it's not abuse. We have never left a permanent mark on our girls (which defines abuse) other then a bright red bottom, lol.
I've been in your shoes
Good luck
2007-01-25 01:44:23 · answer #1 · answered by olschoolmom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is still young enough to mold her into a well behaved child if you put forth the effort. You need to let her know there are consequences to her actions. If she isn't appreciative of anything then take it ALL away and make her earn her things back. Everytime she is disrepectful make her do chores for the person she disrespected. If she is a bear in the mornings make her go to bed earlier and earlier until she either knocks the 'tude off or wakes up in a better mood.
Put your foot down not before it's too late!
2007-01-25 09:29:47 · answer #2 · answered by zinntwinnies 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like my step son when he came to live with us. We had to get him into counselling. It really helped. He still has bad days but it isn't nearly as bad as is used to be.
When he started showing lack of apprecitiation for things or people we started to limit those things. He learned pretty fast that he needed to show appreciation for the things he got to do and the people he got to spend time with.
It might take a while. But she shoudl come around. Also look at her age. She is getting really close to puberty so that has some effect on how a child's behavior changes too.
Good luck!
2007-01-25 14:47:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are her father and your wife being her step mom might not feel like she has the real authority to fully put her in her place and and allow her to get away with things. She needs to be sat down with her real mother and father and her step mother and you all need to talk and if there is a step dad or a daddy role model on the other side he should be there as well, you all need to tell her she needs to change her behavior. make rules and everyone stick to them. Noone give in to them for any reason. She needs to learn correct behavior before she becomes a teenager or you are looking at one very confused, troubled child. Then when she gets to be older she will be in for a rued awakening and get in some serious trouble, she needs to undrstand you all love her and care and are doing this to help her, that you and her mom did not seperate because of her and that you are not getting back together you have moved on. You and her mom need to try to get along for her sake. I am divorced and cannot stand my ex-husband but for my sons (14now) sake I communicate with him and I am very civil with him to help my sson become a better person in life and show him its not his fault, because mom and dad don't love each other we both love him very much and i reassure his dad loves him no matter what, yes it kills me inside! Good Luck! Remember you are the adult and you make the rules not the child!
2007-01-25 10:28:18 · answer #4 · answered by Tigerluvr 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the step mom is giving her the signals that tell daughter she can't get away with it....
She's acting this way because she can. You have been allowing hit. If you change your behaviour, she'll change hers. All actions result in consequences and the consequences will be either good or bad depending on the action. Just be consistent.
2007-01-25 09:52:25 · answer #5 · answered by chicchick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She obviously resents you and her mother. She may have some issues from the two of you being separated or she may be trying to hurt you like you hurt her. I'm not saying that you hurt your daughter but maybe that is how she is feeling. You need to take her to a psychologist who can help her express her feelings through words instead of tantrums. She needs help and she needs to be taught right from wrong.
2007-01-25 09:36:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, she is mad at you and her mom and that is her way of taking it out on you two. Try sitting her down and having a heart to heart talk with her to see what is really bothering her. You may need to speak to a professional to see what can be done if it doesn't get any better.
2007-01-25 15:02:00 · answer #7 · answered by Caleb's Mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's mad as hell that her life is upside down and you and her mom are to blame--according to her. I worked in a children's psychiatric outpatient center for awhile, you need to get your daugher, her mother and you to see a psychologist or child psychiatrist ASAP. This is will only get worse and it's your duty to give her the best chance at a good life. She can't help being awful and probably thinks she's justified in her anger. Take time to get her help or you'll be dealing with a real monster come the teenage years.
2007-01-25 09:29:02 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I would suggest watching super nanny on Monday nights. It has really helped me w/ my daughter. Also, you probably don't discipline her the right way. She needs organized discipline. Go to the library and get some books. Also, there might be meetings in your area w/ other parents so you can get some help. Good Luck!!!
2007-01-25 09:34:16 · answer #9 · answered by truebeing3030 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Her life has been turned upside down.She could do with counselling to help her deal with the situation.Also she is probably going through puberty as well.Girls mature early these days.
2007-01-28 07:29:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋