ANY JOKE i dont care how lame or rude my mind is dieing of boredom and i dont have much to loose so please please hurry!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-01-25 00:54:13 · 24 answers · asked by louise h 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Sherlock Holmes and Watson were out camping in the mountains. One night, Holmes wakes up and nudges Watson.
Holmes: "Look up Watson, what do you see"
Watson: "Millions and millions of stars Holmes."
Holmes: "And what do you deduce from this?"
Watson: "Well, astrologically I can tell you Venus is in the house of Gemini. I can also tell you we are on planet earth, from which with the naked eye we can view Venus and Mars. And theologically, I think we are part of God's great plan. A small speck in a huge universe. And what do you deduce from it Holmes?"
Holmes thinks for a short while, and turning to Watson exclaims:
"No Watson you idiot! Somebody has stolen our tent!"
2007-01-25 01:02:42 · answer #1 · answered by stoned.poet 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A german shepherd goes to the vets. In the vets it sees a Jack Russell crying. Whats up with you he asks it. The jack Russell replies that it had bitten the owners grandson for kicking it in the bollocks and was about to be put to sleep. Then a collie came in crying and the German Shepherd asked it why it was crying, It replied that it was crapping all around the house and he was being put to sleep. Then a bull dog asked the German Shepherd why he was a the vets. He explained that his owner had just got out of the bath and bent down to pull the plug out and he mounted her from behind. The bull dog said oh you poor bugger you getting put to sleep also. The German Shepherd replied No. Im here to get my claws clipped.
2007-01-27 13:39:26 · answer #2 · answered by PAUL C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Q. What did Noah do on the ark
A. Fish, but did not catch much,he only had 2 worms
mom says: Henry why are you failing history??
Henry says: because the teacher was asking questions b4 i was born
Dad says:how are your grades son
Son says:underwater dad
dad says:what do you mean underwater
son says:there below C level
2007-01-25 09:06:58 · answer #3 · answered by Lacadema (Role-player) 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This blonde is taking a plane to Texas. She's got a coach ticket, but she's feeling really cocky and confident today, so she decided to take a seat in first class. A flight attendant begins checking tickets and notices that the blonde has a coach ticket.
Flight attendant: Ma'am I'm going to have to ask you to move to your designated seat in coach.
Blonde: No! I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I deserve this seat, I'm not going anywhere.
The flight attendant requests the help of another one.
2nd Flight attendant: Exuse me, ma'am, this seat is reserved for someone else, please move to your designated seat in coach.
Blonde: No way! I'm Blonde, I'm beautiful and I'm not moving.
The flight attendants didn't know what to do, so they requested the help of the pilot.
The pilot comes out looks at the attendants.
Pilot: You said she's blonde, right?
Flight attendants: yes, why?
Pilot: Just watch.
So the pilot goes to the blonde whispers something in her ear, and she immediately gets up and walk to her seat in coach.
Flight attendants: What did you say to her to make her move?
Pilot: Oh, I just told her that coach is going to Texas, and that first class is going to England.
2007-01-25 09:48:15 · answer #4 · answered by Jay's Mommy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Boy and his girlfriend stop in a lay-by for some canoodling in the back of the car.The boy starts to get frisky and slips his hand down the girl's jeans and knickers.He looks up and sees a policeman walking towards the car and says.."Oh no...FUZZ"
The girl replies "What did you expect?....a ponytail?"
2007-01-25 09:01:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
A man walks into a bar
Oww thats gotta hurt
2007-01-25 09:49:01 · answer #6 · answered by leannexfairy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A horse walks into a bar. The barman says "so why the long face?"
2007-01-25 08:58:26 · answer #7 · answered by Michael B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's two Moths!
One Moth says to the other Moth - Im off!
Ha i love that joke!
2007-01-25 09:09:07 · answer #8 · answered by Chuckles! 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what is the longest word in English
Smile
there is a mile in between
hee
you needed a lame joke Right !!!
HEE HEE HEE
2007-01-25 09:04:04 · answer #9 · answered by madav b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you hear about the two silkworms in a race?
They ended up in a tie.
2007-01-25 08:58:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋