my daughter is 3 and a half years old, she won't use the toilet at school?

Question

she is o.k at home and will go to the toilet at home, but sometimes i have noticed i have to prompt her. she has been potty trained since july 06 and has only had about 4 'accidents' but all of these bar one have been on the one day a week she is at nursery untill 5 o'clockpm. she holds it in till she gets home and then rushes to the loo as soon as our front door is open...the problem is i have told her nursery teacher about this, an asked them if they could prompt her if she looks like she needs the loo but she still is not using the toilet at school despite me telling the school on several occasions. any advice would be great, thank you in advance.

Answer 1

Is the bathroom at school comfortable for her? I remember being in preschool and not wanting to use the bathroom because there were about 5 toilets lined up next to each other with no privacy. I know it doesn't seem like kids that age would care, but some kids are just modest. Or maybe she is having so much fun there that she forgets she has to go and realizes it once you guys are on the way home. Just make sure you pack plenty of extra clothes for her and hope she out grows it. BTW I like your hat.

Answer 2

Try taking her to the school toilet before you go home, to show her its safe in case there is something bothering her about it. I find it strange and annoying that her teachers arent co operating with you, is there someone else you could speak with that might listen? Maybe one of her other carers? You have every right to set up an appointment to talk about this problem properly. Maybe try a star chart, children love these and they usually get good results. Have you asked her if something is stopping her using the toilet? I am sure you probably have but the strangest things frighten children, i remember being too shy to ask when i was little. Trry looking at it from a 3 year olds point of view, is the toilet far away? in a dark place? etc. I hope you get this sorted x

Answer 3

I work in nursery and i had this with a girl. Mum told me it was because she didnt like the other children looking at her (as lets face it children are very nosey) so i then told her that id hold the door for her and i promised her that no one else would come in. Shes been fine since. (we dont have locks on the doors) but children have the right to privacy too. Are the loos regulary cleaned, maybe its too messy for her and is making her feel uncomfortable, do they have steps for her to reach the toilet?

Answer 4

yea I would tend to agree with the last answer and from what you have said the school has not really helped with this issue. Next time you are there take a look around the toilet facilities and see if there is anything obvious that you think would put her off and try to work from there to resolve this the best of luck. (As I'm sure you know and is probably where your concern has come from but its not good for her to be holding this all day it could cause bladder problems).

Answer 5

I went thou the same thing with my daughter! It took some time but I talked to her and found out that she wasn't using the potty because it was co-ed and she was worried one of the boys would come in plus she thought it was dirty. Well I had to take her to the bathroom at school one day so that she could see it was okay. I showed her how to clean the potty with toilet paper and that if she locked the door there was no way for anyone to get in and see her. For her that worked great and she started using the bathroom at school. I hope that helps! Good luck and just keep working with her she'll get it.

Answer 6

My daughters are in primary school and still don't like to use the toilets there!! Seriously, though, you should make sure that you take her to the toilet before you leave her at nursery and when you pick her up. That might avoid the mad dash when you get home!

Answer 7

my 5 year old son has autism & he'd use the loo fine at home but not at school, although he did for a few weeks, he's gone backwards again.
i would say that no pressure should be put on a child to use the loo as we all learn & develop at different rates.
if the school discriminate against your daughter simply because of toilet use, then you do know they can be taken to court for this
but give her a little time then re-introduce on occasion, you'll be fine, good luck

Answer 8

don't make a fuss she will go when she feels comfortable at school, they should be encouraging her to go to the loo after break and after a snack look into it again but if it's her choice don't make a big thing about it, check with the school that she is drinking during the time she is there because this will cause problems, but most of these funny little way will soon pass.try not to mention it to her again see what happens.

Answer 9

This is really common in kids and is one of the scariest things about going to school for yound kid. Maybe you should try and take her to the toilet at school so she can see its nothing to be scared about. Speak to the nursery manager too as I'm sure they will have come across this scenario before.

Answer 10

Make it into a game for her, at this age they love games. tell her that if she goes toilets at school, you'll take her shops and she can pick a sweet.

when go shopping buy a bag of lollies and show her before going to school that if the teachers say she went to the toilet you'll give her the lolly. If she didnt go then be firm and stick to the rules of the game. she wont like it but you have to be firm or sh'ee realise that she'll get her own way