Hello, I'm 23 and surprisingly mature for my age. I am very career conscious and am trying to build a nice future and life. My girlfriend, who I have been with for 8 months now, is 21 and seems to be irresponsible. Ive noticed it all along but it seems to be getting to me more now. I can definately see her as someone I would like to be with for the rest of my life if certain things are changed....
-She is habitually late. This really bothers me.
-She is currently in college and does not take it seriously at all. College is very important to me. She has been there for four years and still does not know what she wants to do. She has talked about "taking a year off" which I interpret as "Im not going back."
-She lives at home with her parents and is pretty disrespectful to them. She lives with three younger sisters which can't possibly help.
There are other things as well but these are the main ones. I love her very much, am I overreacting? Should I give her time to be young?
2007-01-25 00:40:17 · 6 answers · asked by jbauer 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Thanks for your answers! What should I do about this...We talked last night about an altercation between her and her dad. Her dad asked her to do a simple task and she refused saying it was unfair. And in the outcome he came down pretty hard on her. I told her that if she would have done the task, she could have avoided all the trouble. I understand things arent fair but she lives at home and he pays for her school, car, insurance, gas, food, etc.. Should I have kept quiet about the whole situation or voiced my opinion? If I think she should have handled the situation differently and I dont say anything, it tears at me inside. I hope she would let me know if I should have handled something differently.
2007-01-25 01:07:42 · update #1
I'm 21, I'm mature.... I don't know. I'm take school seriously, I'm late every now and then. I still at live at home with my parents, but it's their way or the highway....
I don't know.. Maybe she just needs to be young for a little while. It's the age probably. She finally can party....
Good luck!
2007-01-25 00:45:29 · answer #1 · answered by angel2005_2001 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are looking to change her. That won't work. She may change some of these things ... she may not. The question you have to ask is can you accept her the way she is? Can you live with her propensity to be late, cavalier attitude towards school, indecision, etc.? Plus you say there are "other things."
Are these things "deal breakers"? Personally, I feel she needs to explore the world a bit and that she is not ready to be as settled as you are. Persons "settle" at different times of there life. I truly doubt that while it may have not occurred to her as yet, she is not to be with you for the long haul.
2007-01-25 00:52:33 · answer #2 · answered by morahastits 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
these things may gripe at you but the point is ,,do you love her in spite of her faults? what she does and feels now may not be what she does and feels later and yes,you may think you have it all worked out but where is the fire? if you enjoy her and she you stick with it,,there is no rush.she may never be punctual but can you bear to live with it or maybe even laugh at it,,,,she may not know what she wants to do with her life yet and may not know later but that is for her to find out,,a separate entity to you,,many people at 40 still have little idea what they want to do and accomplish from life so at 21 i wouldnt worry,,,,the time to wonder if she is for you is when she drags you down and ruins what you want to achieve,if she never does that and you and her are happy,why rock the boat.sometimes life gives us answers sometimes we have to ride it out and find them ourselves but if you keep your eyes open it will become clear.
2007-01-25 00:49:14 · answer #3 · answered by lex 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you want her to be something she is not. You can't honestly want to nreak things off because she is 'habitually late.' Some people are late. And I know people with their Master's degrees who don't even know what they want. You seem very critical of her. Perhaps you should think if you really want to be with her for her, or if you are dating her so that she will change/mold into something you want her to.
It is not fair to her. People don't change.
2007-01-25 00:46:57 · answer #4 · answered by Mimi 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
with all due respect, if you love her you will ACCEPT HER for who is is and NOT what she does or does not due .If you really love her, continue to encourage her to change certain things but don't rush her . good luck
2007-01-25 00:48:32 · answer #5 · answered by Mark 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
sounds like you need to go and find a new gf. let her be her, if she wants to screw around and live on off Mommy and daddy well let her.
go do what you want and be who you want to be.,
you don't need anyone around to succeed.
2007-01-25 00:46:29 · answer #6 · answered by mother of 7! 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋