but she is so judgemental towards me, always trying to control my thoughts, my life, what i watch on tv, my being a mom, my weight which is a little underweight due to the stress of my husband being deployed, what i read, what i think and everything else. How do i get her to just stop, and if she is so christian why is she so controlling and judgemental?
2007-01-25 00:37:32 · 13 answers · asked by daisy322_98 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
yes everyone she is a older sister and she just is so mean! thanks for the answers!
2007-01-25 00:52:27 · update #1
Big sister, right? Has nothing to do with "Christian". That is pretty much standard social dynamics that an older sibling tries to "take care" of the younger - especially with girls. What to you appears as "controlling" and "judgemental", to her is often "loving" and "caring". I see it all the time in my two girls (even through they are in their late 20's and early 30's).
As there is nothing you can do to change your sister, the only suggestions I can make are for you. My younger daughter had to learn to take her sister's comments as statements of "care" rather than as "complaints". She doesn't have to listen or do confirm to them. But if she sees them as attempts to be "good" and "caring" rather then as "controlling" and "judgemental" it makes them easier to live with.
Plus you have the extra "bonus" of being able to pray for your sister (and yourself) that God help to imporve the relationship between you.
(I will be keeping you - and your husband - in my prayers today)
2007-01-25 00:51:14 · answer #1 · answered by dewcoons 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you talked with her about this? Is she older or younger, even though that should not matter?
Just come out and tell her that you feel she is too controlling and judgmental. That she needs to make sure her backyard is clean before she comes cleaning your front yard.
She probably doesn't even see that she is doing this. She's trying to make sure that you are not falling away or back from the journey to the LIGHT. She's probably doing this out of love.
Just let her know how you feel when she starts doing this, whether it is over the reading material you read, the shows you watch on television, how you are raising your children, and even how you carry your weight.
Of course do all this with love, not bitterness or hasty. I'm sure if you talk with her, she will catch herself or at less see it and then it will be up to her to correct these "flaws" within her.
No one controls another unless that person allows this control to take place.
Its the human nature, especially if one is the older, to control the situations at hand. Is that right for them to do? Don't know, in some situations yes, some no.
Good luck with the talk! Will say a prayer for you.
2007-01-25 08:49:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't make her stop - just like she really has no control over you without your consent. Be honest with her and tell her to stop. As far as you're being too thin, it is not healthy. I understand stress, but you have a child and you need your strength. If you need help, talk to a doctor. Talk to your husband, even though he is deployed, let him know what's going on. If he's strong enough to be your husband, the father of your child and in the military, he's strong enough to help you through this. Pray. Your sister is probably well meaning, but mistaken. Her journey with Christ Jesus is different than yours. You can do all things though Christ Jesus, even stand up to your sister and tell her that she is not helping your situation.
2007-01-25 08:51:49 · answer #3 · answered by padwinlearner 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone is different in their faith, and how they walk with God. Unfortunately, there are those who feel that if you aren't walking the exact same path, then it's the wrong path. (my way or the wrong way) Explain to her that you and God on good speaking terms, and that if He has a problem with your choices He will let you know! Faith is a VERY personal thing, but some people just don't get it! Besides, with you hubby deployed you have enough stressors and she needs to be a support to you. I know that during deployments I tend to turn to Him for support more than ever!
2007-01-25 08:53:55 · answer #4 · answered by usafbrat64 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she starts in, just cut her off with a firm, "You know, I'd appreciate it if you'd keep your thoughts to yourself." Then quickly change the subject. Don't even let her get a full sentence out. If she picks it up again, say (A little more curtly), "I don't want to talk about that. If I want your advice I'll ask for it. Now please change the subject." After a while, she might start to realize her unsolicited opinion is not appreciated, and she's not getting anywhere.
2007-01-25 08:46:52 · answer #5 · answered by Jess H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some people are just naturally that way, then when the get saved, they seem to get worse--majoring on all the shall nots & the shouldn'ts. instead of thr grace of God. my solution would be to spend less time w/ her & if she asks why, tell her. Be kind about it--tell her you're a Christian too but must live your own life & make your own decisions. remember, the only One you have to please is God.
2007-01-25 08:45:50 · answer #6 · answered by wanda3s48 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Read Matthew chapter 7 to her.
2007-01-25 08:46:57 · answer #7 · answered by sudonym x 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it seems most people who claim to be Christians are controlling and judgemental. Have her find a more moderate belief system
2007-01-25 08:42:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
That's the BIG hypocracy in xians. They think they are better than everybody, and tell people right from wrong just BECAUSE they are xians..in the name of a god who WOULDN'T DO that! NONE of them follow the words of their own god. Disgusting.
2007-01-25 08:43:26 · answer #9 · answered by INDRAG? 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Ive come to realize that people that are judgmental really don't have enough to occupy themselves, why don't you tell her her efforts would be put to better use if she volunteer somewhere.
2007-01-25 08:43:11 · answer #10 · answered by pepsiolic 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋