Hiya, well my problem is this, I recently met a guy on the internet through dating ads. We emailed each other and had lots of things to talk about and had so much in common, so we decided to exchange numbers. When I met him in person he was very unattractive but was great laugh, nice guy and I just couldn't believe how much we had in common. Well I went to his place and we played around but I felt really turned off by his appearance and to be honest I felt dirty. Nothing to do with the sex but i couldn't belive I was doing it with him. A lot of people are gonna say im shallow but you have to be physically attractive to the guy as well as personality and if we did have a relationship (he is very willing) which I want a lot of people would tell me that I could do soooooo much better, but the thing is he is such a great guy.
2007-01-25 00:20:13 · 39 answers · asked by carmen260 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You need to keep one thing in mind...Looks are going to fade one day no matter who you are. After that point, you'd better have someone with a personality you like and also someone you consider a great person. As for them telling you that you can do better, they are basing that totally on looks and that is no way to choose someone that you are going to be in a long term relationship with.
2007-01-25 00:25:59 · answer #1 · answered by Rod Rod Go 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Once you get old enough to have some BRAINS! You're gonna want to take care of your Heart. It's the only thing that you'll have going for you. A Hunk is more liable to mess you up. than someone that isn't all that appealing. Brad Pitt Dumped Jennifer. I'm trying to convince a Friend, that my looks, aren't worth walking away from. You should heed the warnings. Compassionate Friendship, is very hard to find. And something that Love can become such a positive part of your Life.
2007-01-25 00:27:40 · answer #2 · answered by Goggles 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly what you are saying. I had the exact same thing happen with me. I deceided that half of a relationship is the physical attraction. Like whn you notice a guy from across the room, its his looks that do it. Then you find out if he has a great personality. I dont see why it cant work the other way round. I felt bad and shallow too, but if it bothers you that much then you have your answer. It is human nature.
2007-01-25 01:00:14 · answer #3 · answered by chickyboo222 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest i personally think that personality should out rate looks.
It's better to have someone you can relate to and have a good laugh with. Rather than someone who is just good to look at.
If you care for this guys, don't be bothered about what others say.
At the end of the day people will always talk and you're the one that's dating him, not the people.
Take care and make the right choice.
2007-01-25 03:17:42 · answer #4 · answered by Playful~Beauty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well hun the best piece of advice I can give you is this - would you prefer to be treated like a princess by someone who makes you laugh - feel good about yourself and have things in common with - but arent all that to look at
OR
would you prefer to be treated like a hunk of meat by a hottie?!!
I know that physical attraction is very important between two people but sometimes the emotional bond can override the physical one. You're not shallow in your feelings towards him - hes probably just not your type physically and therefore it is different with him.
I think to allow yourself fool around with him - you actually like him alot more than you think - I mean really if he was THAT bad could you have brought yourself to do some of those things with him!"?
Looks fade over time hun - I know its very easy for me to sit here and preach this kinda stuff - whereas if I was in your shoes Id prob be thinking the exact same - its really down to what youwant out of life and whats more important - being treated right - or having totty at the end of your arm.
Dont listen to what anyone else says about him - this is your decision - you have to go with what feels right - I think you should see him again and see if you can get over this. You're not being shallow - anyone would have the same concerns! I hope you make the right decision!
xx
2007-01-25 00:30:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is not attractive but you went to be with him
if I was into shallow slags how much do you charge per night? do you always go to bed with your clients or do just a strip show
you are shallow and sick
If you had half a brain you would realise having common ground and fun together is better than a steriod enhanced and gym addictted rambo type of guy
go and talk to someone who has experience in love and can hopefully show you that in amongst your shallowness that you have a heart and you and the guy give it a go and forgodsake talk to each other (about EVERYTHING) to do with the relationship
good luck
2007-01-25 03:42:22 · answer #6 · answered by Music fan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not about what other people think or say but about you and you being happy. I am not saying you are shallow, but if you seriously dont feel physical attraction inside you and cant see you having a releationship be straight and stay freinds. If on the other hand you are just worried about other people and what they say / think, Tell them to shut up, I mean would you prefer to be happy with a loving relationship or alone cos people think you can do better? Its all in your hands only you can decide what is right for you and the rest of em well tough!
2007-01-25 00:29:37 · answer #7 · answered by djp6314 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree totally with Rod - looks fade and then u better have something left that ur other half wants to hang on to. If your friends tell u that u could do better then they are not true friends because if they were then they would see how happy you are with this man and understand. How many times must a person be told that beauty comes from within before u believe it ???? It is such a true saying !!!
2007-01-25 00:31:33 · answer #8 · answered by Tequila Sheila SA 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Shallow, yes. Ultimately looks are only part of the initial attraction. Looks fade- YOURS will too.
Go with your heart.
Think of it this way; Would you rather have a hot guy that was a jerk and couldn't hold a conversation with a wall? Or someone that is average looking, but could keep you entertained and make you smile?
How would you feel if a hot guy found you mediocre to look at, but easy to talk to, and based the reason for not wanting to date you on that?
2007-01-25 00:28:18 · answer #9 · answered by juicy13500 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop worrying, you just dont have that chemistry together. When you get along really well with someone it doesnt mean you want to sleep with them. Dont stress about it, hes not for you. Youre not shallow or you wouldnt have given him a chance in the first place. I know a lot of people on here will say looks arent everything and they arent, i have dated guys that arent stunners but we had 'something' you simply havent. Let him down gently and find someone that DOES push your buttons;-)
2007-01-25 00:33:04 · answer #10 · answered by British*Bird 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do so much better? How, in your opinion? Weigh the pros, and cons! There was this old song: "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, make an ugly girl your wife" Haha! Is it the same for men? Does he feel he is unattractive? Or his looks are not important to him? Does he have a wide circle of friends who don't care how he looks? Is he insecure? Its a wait and see game...if he treats you great, and has no "internet-skeletons" in his closet...hang out for a while, what the heck. You could meet a hot friend he might have.......
2007-01-25 00:31:42 · answer #11 · answered by Peaceful 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋