I don't like it when people are rude to me at work or when I am with my family. I am in my 30's, and have stood up and argued for years with my family for my rights and to get respect. I am just TIRED of defending myself. At Christmas I got the courage to get up, take my kids and walk out. I didn't confront anyone, I just left. And the unthinikable happened. Since then I have actually gotten some respect!
So my question is. When someone is being rude to you or invading your space in some way. Is it appropriate not to respond.. and if they just won't let up on you, to walk away? Because I want to teach my kids that mommy doesn't let herself get treated that way. But at the same time, this mommy is so tired standing up for herself and setting bounderies. Is silence acceptable... because for me, it just feels good to not get involved in some conflict or nosy question that someone else is starting.
2007-01-24 19:39:39 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Sometimes walking away from situations that you know you have no control over, and you know your opinion, thoughts and feelings will not be taken into consideration, even if asked.
While we want our children to stand up for themselves, we have to teach them that there are times it is best we just walk away.
Its true the words speaks volumes, but so do actions.
Family, friends and colleagues need to respect each others space, thoughts and feelings. When we don't show respect to someone by either not listening to someone, or giving the space, that stress levels rise, causing resentment etc.
One of the most valuable lessons I have learnt is that we need to learn "how to listen" to what is being "said", especially with loved ones, as tomorrow they may not be here, to talk to us.
And we may miss some valuable information they may have to give, as everyone has something to offer.
2007-01-24 21:26:37 · answer #1 · answered by Georgie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Obviously in that situation silence was the best choice. That's not always the case. Your heart will usually let you know when you need to stand up & fight for yourself or when you need to let it go and walk away. You have obviously learned some hard lessons from the past and are now a wiser woman. Since I can relate a LOT to what you are going through let me just say kudos to you for doing what was right for yourself & your children. And here's a great comeback for people asking nosy questions....."Why do you want to know?" That usually shuts them up.
2007-01-24 19:46:13 · answer #2 · answered by Pamela 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well actions speak louder than words...sometimes. It sounds as though your leaving disfused a routinely orchestrated 'picking on you'. Your choice of reaction demonstrated restraint. Sometimes people do what they have always done...despite retorts to the contrary. Your leaving let them know that you are serious about it.
Remember the topics not to engage in...Money, Politics, and Religion. Try to be versed in current events...newspaper articles, magazines, and current books or music releases. Perhaps with better topics of conversation, the talk will be less intrusive and offensive to you. I am glad that you were able to 'get through to them.'
2007-01-24 19:52:53 · answer #3 · answered by sheila_0123 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Silent Treatment is childish and foolish: HOWEVER, what you did was GREAT. These people already knew you well enough to know they were pushing your buttons, so instead of arguing AGAIN about the SAME issues, you left.
Go girl.! You sound smart; your kids will learn some common sense from you.
2007-01-24 21:21:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
being silent by itself does not make a point, unless as you did you leave.
being silent by itself can imply condoning a situation. Anytime you feel an injustice is being done it is best to make your point by dis-associating yourself from thr group in question.
Make sure the children understand that you do not wish to stand by quietly and allow an injustice. When polite conversation will not correct the issue (as you have tried) then leave.
2007-01-24 19:52:59 · answer #5 · answered by Carl P 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yup, I am trying to learn what you already have achieved. Good for you!! I believe that being silent is much more powerful; you leave a lot to the imagination. Good luck and happy faces to you!
2007-01-24 19:48:22 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it does. There are times to communicate.. with a spouse or a child.. but some people think you owe them something that you don't.. extended family shouldn't be high maintanence, and neither should co workers...
2007-01-24 19:48:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Silence, and a 'look' or facial expression can be one of the most effective forms of communication.
And nearly impossible to quote
2007-01-25 01:46:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are times where I would say yes, but others no. Normally talk first and if nothing happens then leave.
2007-01-25 00:05:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes but by not responding, that's still a form of response if you think about it.
I say if it works, go for it.
2007-01-24 19:44:48 · answer #10 · answered by Megangel 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋