my girlfriend now wants girls night out once a month or week wahtever, without me. we have been together for 5 years and i have never messed up with our relationship meaning flirting or cheating on, but she has twice one time less than 6 mo ago. we ahve 2 kids we love and one on the way i am only 23 and she is only 21. we need to save our relationship and we are also both going together to marriage counciling. waht do i do?
2007-01-24 19:16:06 · 8 answers · asked by luke m 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
2 kids and 1 on the way: She really needs a girls night out!! I have done this from time to time, you need to trust her, I understand that she cheated, and you are going to counseling, which is good..But you can't hold her down.. If she cheats again, I would leave and take the kids legally!! Understand, make sure you get advise on this from your councilor, or go to a lawyer and get advise from them on how to keep those kids.. Also I have to ask... are you sure those are your kids????? Good luck you are thinking of those kids first and I sense you'll be a great father for them, your kids need you!!
2007-01-24 19:33:57 · answer #1 · answered by Diana J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, when I was married... I requested a night out to "get away" from the children and spouse... and have "me" time.. But if you suspect, which you are, that she wants out for other reasons I think that a counselor maybe better... Sometimes having kids so early in life they think that their fun has been zapped from them... I've watched one of my desk clerks loose a great marriage of 5 years because she needed to prowl the streets and have fun (she had 2 kids before 19)...
You might want to try having more of a couple time with no kids and create a great romantic or energetic time together
2007-01-24 19:25:17 · answer #2 · answered by De 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Clearly she wants to redefine the relationship. You need to check your P's & Q's. Sometimes the fact that you aren't cheating isn't enough. Instead of looking at what your not doing wrong, maybe you need to look at what you're not doing right! Do you appreciate her? Does she know it? Does she feel loved? Do you do nice things and remind her how much she means? Probably not if she's looking for attention somewhere else. It's workable, but just know that her behavior is a precurser to cheating...even if she doesn't know it. Everyone needs friends time, but it sounds more like she's using it as an excuse to get away from you.
2007-01-24 19:21:38 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I (married 15 yrs. with 2 kids) frequently go out with friends, at least a couple times a month. We always have. We don't go out to flirt with other people, we go out to enjoy our friendships with others. I have girls night outs with my girlfriends, we go to dinner, movies, concerts, plays, karaoke, go for drinks, whatever strikes our fancy. I also do things like book clubs, belong to a woman's group that has regular meetings, go to activities that my husband doesn't want to go with friends or on my own. He golfs, rock climbs, goes to movies, bowls.
We love doing things together, but we also both have interests of our own. It makes our relationship stronger than we trust eachother and have time to still be individuals.
2007-01-24 19:24:51 · answer #4 · answered by dancin thru life 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she just needs a break from it all just every now and then. It doesn't necessarily mean she wants to cheat on you. It's very stressful being a mother and wife. We just need some time to ourselves to do our own thing sometimes. Good luck. Hope everything works out for you two.
2007-01-24 19:22:28 · answer #5 · answered by sweet.pjs1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she needs to grow up bigtime. She has children & you, and she needs to make up her mind what she wants from life. Keep going to counseling, but if she can't make up her mind to be a grownup, she doesn't need to be making more babies. That is a huge responsibility, your kids ARE your life. Whatever she ends up doing, it seems that you are the more responsible one, so be the daddy they deserve. I hope everything turns out well.
2007-01-24 19:23:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you give her her girls night out but make sure she knows its scary saying yes with her unfaithful past and make sure she knows that you are worried that she might have too much fun during girls night out..that way she knows you are thinking about it.. but if you want to say no very strongly... then just say i dont want to let you because yadda yadda and remind her of what she's done. and say that you dont feel that the trust between you both is strong enough yet for you to feel comfortable with her going out with just her friends in potentially compromisable situations!
2007-01-24 19:22:42 · answer #7 · answered by florid_absence 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to allow her a night out and if this is something you want is well, it can be good for the relationship.
2007-01-24 19:21:33 · answer #8 · answered by Jan C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋