I have a lover who has expressed discomfort regarding an oil portrait of my late husband.
I live with my sister for the time being. In order to be sure it is properly cared for I have hung an oil painting of my late husband and I in the bedroom suite that I live in.
My lover tells me it makes him very uncomfortable to be intimate in the same room with this painting. I have rather jokeingly covered it with a sheet but he says he still knows it's there and feels he is being watched by my dead husband.
I considered moving it to another room but it is rather large and there really is no other place in the house for it. Mind you, my bf only visits my room on occasion and does not even spend the night.
Tell me guys (and girls) would this bother you? Would you move the painting to a galery for storage (tho there is some cost involved and I actually enjoy the painting when alone), or would you just tell him to get over it? I don't want to be insensitive.
2007-01-24 18:34:19 · 5 answers · asked by Ande 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Although I totally get where your boyfriend is coming from, he has to understand that you have suffered a loss. This is your lover or boyfriend and the painting is of your husband and you which I would guess you guys would still be together if it had not been for his death. If it is comforting to you, then that should be your central concern and his also. It is all about how you cope with your loss and not his comfort or lack there of. It would be a lot different if you were married or he livd with you. As of right now, he is a guest in your home and in your home, it matters that you are in comfort. There is no reason that you should have to hide something that brings comfort to you. And if you want to see it when you're alone, you shouldn't have to go to another room or gallery to do so. Explain to him that if he cares about you, he will care about what is therapeutic to you and what will help you through. Also let him know that in due time, you will be ready to move the portrait elsewhere, but not in his time, in yours. Good luck!
2007-01-24 18:51:12 · answer #1 · answered by msmith4950@sbcglobal.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I know it could bother you as well as to relocate the portrait elsewhere.. But I feel your bf is asking very little of u anyway. So you can keep the portrait elsewhere for his sake. But then again you can explain your situation to him just the way you have done here to make him understand perhaps..
2007-01-25 02:45:56 · answer #2 · answered by th1608 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm...disconcerting to say the least, why don't you just turn the picture around the other way wouldn't that be a better option been as it's too big to move to another room.
2007-01-25 04:43:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, were he still alive, I'd say yes. But if widowed, no. If he were still alive I'd think you were keeping it because you weren't over him, but if widowed, he will always be a "good" part of you if the relationship was good, and that deserves to be honored.
2007-01-25 23:03:33 · answer #4 · answered by You'll Never Outfox the Fox 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to be honest, it would bother me. i understand where you're coming from, though. but it would be very hard to just "get over it."
2007-01-25 02:40:51 · answer #5 · answered by Jenniferrr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋