I haven't been home in two years and I am 23(military) things have changed since rolled. How do I act around

Question

my old friends,family, and everyone else. I don't want to fall back into the old me. I am getting really nervous and anxious. Is that normal? I feel like I have to live up to a standard or they are expecting something of me. Really don't know what to say or how to act. I know I should just be myself. But myself is easily persuaded and conviced to do things that I know are not good. Just don't know what I should expect when seeing everyone?

Answer 1

Hm. I can understand this problem. Hope this doesn't sound too silly, but try keeping an "internal officer" on duty. When a real-life officer gives you an order, you say, "Yessir!" and carry it out, right? When a real-life officer asks you a question, you don't waffle for five or ten minutes then finish with a lame, "I don't know," do you? You answer the question promptly and clearly.

When you're around your family/old friends and feel that pressure to be someone/something else for their benefit, let your "internal officer" straighten you out. "Soldier, are you being true to yourself?" If the answer is "No, sir!" then follow the officer's order of, "Then straighten out at once!"

With, of course, a note of caution...being true to yourself does not demand the complete, bald truth at all times. It's OK to "lie" for the protection of some feelings and/or certain people's feelings. In fact, your ability and willingness to do so raises you from an "officer" to a "gentleman." Example: Your mother is probably not going to be thrilled to hear every single gory detail of how the guy sleeping next to you got blown to smithereens, no matter how true it is. All she's going to be hearing in her own head is, My boy/girl almost died, my boy/girl almost died. She doesn't need this. You can tell your buddies that kind of stuff, but practice saying things like, "It was tough, but we're trained to take it, Mom."

Good luck, and thanks so much for your service!

Answer 2

I have the same problem. I am not who I was many years ago, and some of my friends are not willing to except that. I have a certain friend that will bash me, and tell me, what a loser I am, and I suck, and I have no life, because I don't smoke crack(not that I did then), and sit at home and get drunk all day. I used to party with her back in the day, but we were kids, I would drink a little, and smoke a little, but I've grown up, and she's 25 with a crack habit, and a raging alcoholic, she doesn't have a car, lives in the projects in a basement, and so on. I have a few cars, and lot's of other things, but she makes fun of me. A lot of the others just tell me I'm stuck up and I think I'm better than everyone. It's hard to hear your friends tell you this, but remember you did something with your life, and don't let them get to you, because they are either jealous, or literally crazy.

You have to expect this, that's all you can do. I know it's going to happen everytime I go home, so I'm ready for it, and I just go home with lots of new stuff, just to rub it in.

Answer 3

I think it comes down to mindset. The Inuit custom adoption would, in its ideal form, be free of pressure, guilt, shame, or coercion. It would be a truly voluntary act, not something forced or demanded. The power would rest with the parent who placed the child, not with the family receiving the child. There would presumably also be different expectations among children, since being raised with your biological family wouldn't be so totally normative in the culture. How the family is viewed-- and what family even is-- is a social construct as well as a biological fact, and as the social construct varies between societies, so do expectations. I think that domestic infant adoption in the US and the Canadian majority culture has a different power dynamic. Relinquishment is often an act of desperation, and is frequently heavily pressured. Also, since there is no equivalent cultural factor to custom adoption, being raised by your biological family is considered totally the norm in a way it wouldn't be in Inuit culture, so being adopted has different cultural meaning, and acts as more of a separating force. While on the surface it may appear the same thing is happening, I think that without the pressure and shame, and with a less biology-based expectation of the definition of "family," it's a very different thing culturally and psychologically.

Answer 4

Anxiety and nerves are just your body's way of telling you something important is about to happen. Isn't there a military version of a support group to help you make a transition? See what resources the Armed Services has, as I'm sure your situation he been encounted thousands upon thousands of times.

Answer 5

that is a hard thing and trust me alot of people go threw this just be who you are an what you became most of your friends an family you might see for the first few months then you become old an they do other things

Answer 6

Re-enlist

Answer 7

just be who you are today and don't be afraid to let everyone know or see you have changed. let them know that you like the person that you have become and that you choose mot to be like that anymore if they are your true friends then they will accept it and let things go and not try to drag you down that road again who knows some of them may have changed also

Answer 8

Well if the people you are talking about care anything about you they will know your a changed man for the good and will not offer you anything bad.Good Luck!

Answer 9

Don't go home until you figure it out! I would just be the person you are now and don't worry no one expects you to be the same person they do expect you to be different after 2 yrs. but they will be happy to see you and it will not matter anyway! THANKS FOR SERVING OUR COUNTRY -USA USA USA USA USA USA

Answer 10

You have grown up..
Don't try to go back to what you were
two years ago..