I have had a bad experience with my Father when i was younger (he was a drunk and abusive) and we do not know where he is right now he has been out of my life for over 8 years. But drinking makes me nervous, I completely trust her, but just the thought of her getting drunk makes me nervous is there anything i can do to calm these feelings? Or do i just need to get used to them? (We have been dating for the past 8 months with no end in sight, if that helps at all)
2007-01-24 16:21:47 · 28 answers · asked by Dustin G 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
they want her to be an alcoholic. you can't stop her. and you need to get over your nervousness, because as you get older, you will find that most people drink and you are a rare exception.
2007-01-24 16:24:43 · answer #1 · answered by curious george 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, there's no need for her to be drinking. Whether or not you tell her how you feel about what happened with your father *which I'm sure you've already told her about*, you should start by saying that drinking causes people to be incapable of making good decisions. Alcohol can ruin peoples' lives if abused. If she's drinking around her family and they're ok with that, express concern about her health and let her know that you don't want her to get into trouble with the law. What she ANNNND her family are doing is illegal.
She will appreciate how you feel. You want to protect her by telling her to be careful. Thats how I would do it...
However, if you want to avoid confrontation, you may never be comfortable with the drinking. You shouldn't have to step THAT FAR past your comfort zone to convenience the relationship. Besides, if she is a sensitive girl, she should understand your standpoint and respect you by not drinking.
2007-01-24 16:29:43 · answer #2 · answered by Kelly 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can totally understand why you would feel nervous with your girlfriend drinking. I think you should talk with her and tell her how it makes you feel, and maybe ask her if she wouldn't drink in front of you or see you after she's been drinking. However, you can't control her actions - if she wants to drink, then she's probably going to do it. But if she's understanding and cares a lot for you, then she will do her best to heed to your requests. You both should reach a mutual understanding of each others' needs and wants, and I think that establishing some guidelines would be the best way to go about this :)
oh and p.s. - to respond to the above post, i'm in college and i don't drink that much, and i know tons of people who don't drink and have lots of fun in other ways, so you definitely won't be a loser if you don't drink in college!
2007-01-24 16:32:08 · answer #3 · answered by mighty_power7 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her about it because, she needs to know whats going on if you havn't already. To calm yourself down just take 10 deep breaths everytime it happens...and remember your father was abusive because he couldn't control himself...if you've been dating for 8 months now and she hasn't been abusive then that means she can control herself. Also, your father was a man...and she is a woman depending on how you too are built just remember to take a stand for yourself...and make sure to tell her how your feeling. When she's drunk just try to be there for her...it'll be hard but, remember you both love each other. If you tell her to give up drinking and she won't...then it must not be destiny.
Good luck
2007-01-24 16:27:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i pass by the same undertaking. It nevertheless hasn't gotten greater powerful for me and this is been 5 months. every person with previous adventure certain me interior the initiating that it could get greater powerful yet with time and till then, it became some thing i could purely ought to manage. It hasn't long gone away thoroughly yet i will say that it has lessened very lots from the soreness i became feeling interior the initiating. this is not the respond you opt to take heed to although this is the reality. there is no treatment yet time for it. This woman sounds youthful and he or she's going to in all hazard do diverse stupid and reckless issues like young women do. in case you extremely care approximately her, purely text fabric or e mail her an undemanding message announcing if she desires help, purely comprehend she would be in a position to anticipate you. That became a minimum of there could be come desire of friendship interior the destiny. solid success.
2016-11-01 05:32:15 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
growing up my mother was an alky and i swore i would never drink or be with someone that drinks, but from my own exp. everyone drinks maybe once a year ( on occ.) or a few time a mo. if you try to tell this girl or any girl you dont want to be with them and it hasnt really became a "problem" you will be alone for th rest of your life. now i can see if you she was drinking and driving and getting so loaded she was doing things she shouldnt but she hasnt even turned 21 and hasnt been able to exper. clubs and bars. drinking can be fun but only if your responsible when doing so.
2007-01-24 16:46:38 · answer #6 · answered by comacati 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as you well know alcohol is a killer. it is also a destructive device. people who abuse the drink hurt themselves and those around them. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders and I encourage you to leave the girl if she cant leave the drink. may be you can give her a chance by telling her just what you have said here and if she still wants to carry on with drinking let her go. just because she drinks with her family doesn't make it OK to drink.
2007-01-24 16:30:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just need to take some time to get used to it. You will soon realize that only a few get abusive when they are durnk. Your girlfriends will prolly just ask dumb and goofy. You dont need to worry. Drink with her a few times, until you get used to it. You will overcome your fear. You should also talk to her. She will help you through the process.
2007-01-24 16:27:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest with her and share your feelings and past. If she is committed to you she will make an effort not to drink around you (or to limit her drinks to one or two). Also, encourage her not to drink with her family, the social setting does not help at all.
2007-01-24 16:25:56 · answer #9 · answered by BetsyLauren 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why dont you try getting wasted. I love the taste of clean crisp beer ice cold running down the back of my throat. I also love the warm tast that hard liquor like Jack Daniels and cheap vodka gives me. When you get to college adn you dont drink you will be a loser and your a winner. So grab a beer and get drunk tonight
2007-01-24 16:30:57 · answer #10 · answered by happyman82385 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
talk to your girlfriend about how uncomfortable it makes you when she drinks around you.Talk to her about how nervous it makes you when she drinks, but still remember to mention that you aren't trying to control her life or make her feel guilted into stopping. My boyfriend drinks, and he knows that it makes me uncomfortable ( I had a uncle who was killed by his drunk "friend"), so when I am around, he NEVER drinks. And when he goes out without me, He promises to have one drink and that's all. If she honestly respects how you feel, she will limit her drinking or stop.
2007-01-24 16:26:51 · answer #11 · answered by collegeboundblonde1287 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋